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Teen mum-to-be, crazy and worrying friend Lock Rss

Hi there i have been a member for a little while and i read the other post nearly everyday but ive only ever posted one which was about my boyfriend ( things are alot better by the way ) but this time i would appreciate any advice on this one.

BRIEF STORY
Im 16 and 7 months pregnant, we are having a boy. Me and my boyfriend *Mitchell have been dating for 7 months - so yes we did jump into things straight away, when we both found out i was pregnant the best decision was to get an abortion as we felt this was right for us individually, but i was too far gone. I came to terms with this a few days before but now i am excited smile! ! ! Everything is going very well, i have great support and very good private health care.

PROBLEM/S

i have this friend *teele, she is one year older than me and has OCD her case is moderate to severe and this affects her immaturity levels highly!! my mother has said so. when attention isn't on her shell do anything she can to get it, my mother has pointed this out, anyway whilst my boyfriend and i were going through the procedures of abortion ( blood test, referalls etc. ) she was mature about this, she came with me to the appt ( i never asked her to but she was with me at the time ) and she was mature about it, however since knowing that i am keeping the baby ( she has known for 3 months approx. ) her maturity levels sunk back down.

this girl is a very unhealthy girl in her mind, i have come to tell myself that its not a good idea i stay best friends with her so over the past month as we were both finsihing school ( her yr 12, me yr 11 ) i backed off a whole lot but as days go by and i saw her these are examples of things that make me not want to be friends with her no more and make me think its unsafe for my baby ( u may think im paranoid )

ok when we go shopping:
she tells me how to walk

she tells me that if she was pregnant she would walk around with her hand on her stomach.. and she does it. because she wants the public to think shes pregnant, this makes me feel highly awkward.

she told me the other day, she is jelous of me... why the hell would u be jelous of getting pregnant at such a young age? but i think this may be because ive made the best outcome for an extremely unexpected situation ( i am able to go to uni a year early, i still have my boyfriend around as she has toruble keeping a boyfriend, i have good medical assistance and great support )

she asked if she could look after the baby for a few days when he is born?? i think not

she said if i dont let her be in the childs life shell take me to court

she says she hopes i have a girl, cuz boy babys are ugly

shes going to buy girl clothes even if i have a boy

shes going to buy her OWN carseat for MY baby

she brought a baby tweety pie blanket for her car because she wants me to have a girl

at the after grad party, she was ACTING really really drunk and when she was walking/stumbling she was pulling ppl down, i got too close n she nearly pulled me over. me being pregnant n my hormones are emotionally on a rollercoaster i freaked n my brother looked at her like he was gonna hit her for it, but i just yelld " keep her away from me "she could have pulled me down n i could have hurt myself or the baby n its really serious.. i could have had damage all because she was acting drunk.

*mitchell n i both dont want her coming to the hospital so we are only going to have family visit n VERY FEW CLOSE friends like 3 or 4 come visit.

she goes on international chat rooms and meets these guys who live in townsville, then she tells her mum she knows them thru me. she gives her number, addy, HOME address n they go to her house n meet her then go driving around
it turned bad a few days ago when i found out one of the guys took her under a bridge and she had to perform oral s*x or intercourse with him, she said she gave him oral because she still wanted him to like her. mind u they dont talk anymore

she stresses me out n causes me anxiety its not good when ur pregnant n it wont be good when i have the baby, cuz if im upset the baby is too. i need to exercise while being pregnant but she says n screams " NO IMOGENE, UR GOING TO KILL UR BABY" she says i can only get morning sickness at the start. im pregnant i know i can get it anytime.
she yells in public that im pregnant n its really embarassing, like im not ashamed but she makes me feel is when she yells it.

she knows im having a boy and me and *mitchell are both excited about it. mum would like me to invite her to my baby shower as we have been close for years, but how do i say something after it ?

its an unhealthy friendship due to her unhealthy mind.

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I foudn majority of my friends dissappeard when i had aiden (i was 18) but i would no longer go out partying and so i was no longer fun.
I do hope you manage to break away if tha tis what you want, but i guess if she is so controlling, just you standing your grounda dn saying "No Teele, you are NOT taking baby" she may start to calm down.
I think it is difficult to know what to do, but she may be jealous of you becuase you are geting alot of ttention atm, as i am sure you are the one one at your school who is pregnant? so you are the special one at the moment, so she is feeling left out.

I have onyl one good good friend from primary/high school left, and she is my kids godmother and is the best friend in the whole world, when she is around i dont have to think about my kids, she is just so totally awesome with them.

Good luck.
And congratulations.
Mmmmm thats a hard one - on one hand she has been your friend for years but on the other hand she seems to have mental illness problems and acts irrationally.
You have to make a decision on what is best for yourself and your baby, if you dont feel comfortable having her around your bub then dont. If you cant avoid it, maybe you could make sure your mum, dp or brother are around at the time so if at any time you dont feel safe they can step in.
Maybe after you have bub, you could leave bub with mum for a couple of hours and go shopping with yr friend, that way she wont feel left out, you can keep in contact and she wont be around your baby - if she wants to bring bub along you could just say oh no mum will look after her, I really need a break.
You will probably find that after you have bub and you are a busy mum, that you will have less and less contact with your friends as when we get older, leave school, have kids, meet partners etc we all start getting our own lives away from school friends.
Good luck anyway, I hope it all goes well for you.

*Teele has also mentioned and tried to scared me about giving birth naturally, she says its going to really hurt when he comes out etc, at the time we were tlaking about her up coming appt to see the gyno and i just said to her id rather a 2.5 kg beautfiful baby come out of my body which me and my bf have created together than have a stranger poking around me down there without no happy outcome.

she says i HAVE to call her when i go into labour ( i think not, ) at the moment i plan to have my mum and my bf and maybe mtichells mum, depending on how our meet-each-other-for-the-first-time goes.

she says i should have a water birth, at the hospital im going to they dont allow births in water only for pain relief which im totally fine with seeing as i didn't intend to use the water to birth in.

my plan so far is not to tell her when i go into labour, and i plan to have only immediate family see me at the hospital and i wont be telling my friends till after ive gone home and settled in to everything.

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You do whatever you and your dp are comfortable with. Have you been to any anti natal classes? They give a lot of info on giving birth, water births etc. You will probably find even if you choose a certain way that you want to give birth that when the time comes you may change your mind and be more comfortable another way. The birth will be painful but just remember the beautiful baby you will be holding at the end of it, and at the moment they place yr baby on your chest all the pain will be gone. Millions and millions of women give birth all over the world and they all get through it, thats the way I thought about it when I was pregnant with my first and scared of the pain.
You dont have to tell her when you're in labour if you dont want to, you may not even think about her at the time, your mind will be on other things.
I hope everything turns out good with dp's parents, I'm sure they'll be thrilled to be welcoming a new grandchild.

im not scared or anxious about giving birth at the moment or just yet, but i probably will feel that way when i get closer to the date ( 9 weeks smile ) i know i have the best care medically so im not scared about anything and yes i will feel differently at the time most likely. i just want her to know that the things she say really freak me out but dont know how to talk to her about it

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Just tell her straight out and tell her if she doesnt have anything encouraging to say then dont say anything at all. You have enough on your mind at the moment without listening to her silly and negative comments.

yeah your right, all the things she says and does are mainly due to her maturity levels which are very surprising seeing as she turns 18 this year in august and id expect more maturity from her, but do u think its a safe person for my baby to grow up in when hes born

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Only you can answer that question, I dont know her and its not my place to comment, but as a mum I know who I do and dont feel comfortable with being around my children (I hope that makes sense). If I didnt feel comfortable with a particular person being around my child I would try to make sure that my child wasnt near that person.
You have to do what you feel is best and safest for you and your baby, it may just be that your friend is just immature and no danger to your child at all, but only you can decide that.

i fell pregnat with my first child when i was 16... i had all these really good mates untill i told them i was pregnat then i only had one... i went from having fun with my friends to sitting at home while my partner (who i was only with for a month or so b4 i fell pregnat) went to work... he was all i had... i am now having our second child we are married and have a happy little family.. my point really is if she is such a good friend she will support you in everything you do and if she doesnt then i know i wouldnt want her around... however it is totally up to you and you are the only one who can decide what you should do... feel free to pm me if you want to have a chat...
jess
Hi Imogene

I am 25 and even at this age still have issues with friends accepting that I am pregnant. I have one friend who fell pregnant the same time as me and she decided to get an abortion. She was my best friend and now she doesn't talk to me anymore. She said mean things about me to others and basically made out that me being pregnant and keeping the baby was a stupid awful decision. I am married and was really excited about being pregnant, even though it wasn't 'planned'. She rubs in how thin she is, all the money she has for nice clothes etc...

In the beginning I held on to our friendship and tried to let her behaviour slip, but when I was about 6 months preg I realised I didn't need her shit. I have removed myself from her all together and I feel a bit better about it now days.


I am sorry you are in this situation, its not very fun.
It sounds to me like your friend doesn't realise that you are having a baby which is a PERSON not some doll she can 'play' with. I would back right off and give yourself some space from her.

Take care, and let us know how it goes.

Matilda Jane, Feb 08 and Charlotte Rose, Dec 09

Me and my boyfriend started are antenatal classes last night, they go for 5 weeks we are the youngest couple there everyone else is in their 30's or older so thats gone good so far, i haven't recieved any judgement from the older couples which makes me feel more at ease.

but yes, teele does think that this baby is like " a doll " basically !! and she needs to understand that its not like that at all and its an extreme responsibility, shes not being mean or hurtful in anyway but its just extremely frustrating listening to her say all the stupid things she says. i have backed off from her since the start of december and things have gone all right so far, but when the baby comes i think thats when problems will arise again.

by the way my email is [email protected]
feel free to chat to me if u have any advice or anything like that smile
thanks everyone for the replies ive gotten so far

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