Huggies Forum

The Huggies Forum is closed for new replies and topics, you can still read older topics.
  1. home
  2. Baby Forum
  3. Your Baby's Family
  4. Your Relationships
  5. What to do when a relationship falls apart.

What to do when a relationship falls apart. Lock Rss

Today my partner and i just had a huge fight as he dose he took of and now i am home alone. Its left me in tears beacuse he gets so mad at me and it makes me cry when i look at our son and he dont know whats going on.

I fell preg because we both wanted another baby and thought it would be a good thing.But now he thinks it easy for me to stay home and keep telling him i need money for food.

I just carnt handle it anymore from the first day we moved in he will not talk about money or anythink elce when i bring it up hes like what do you want or whats your problem now its just to hard to get a word out of him that not putting me down or making me look like i rave in about [email protected]#t.

He tells me if i want money i should go to work and get some but i am 20 weeks preg and by the time i find one it will be time to give birth but all i ask him for is $70 a week to buy food for our son and some for us as well sometimes.

He gets about $450 to $600 a week and he pays for the house which is only $230 and i only get $200 every second week in which i have to pay all the bills so i dont get any at all. I dont see where all his money is going.

To top this of he has just settled a work cover clam and has told me not to see any of it cause he is spending it all on a new car for himself. I dont drive so i dont care.

But when do you call it time out cause i am so angry and i dont know what i have done wrong then after he yelled and me and pointed his fingers right in frount of my face he tells me he is going to go buy himself some lunch cause i had just gone down to mums where i asked her for some lunch for connor cause we didnt have anythink then i get its ok for our son to have lunch but not him. Well hi i didnt have lunch as well and i am preg and the baby dont like it.

I just dont get men this is my first relationship and we was set to get married arter this baby is born but now i dont want to cause i know our relationship want last long.

Grrrr need to let it all out cause he want here me out and i dont like to go to any family members cause that just makes it bad for me.

I am worried about connor cause he calles for his dad all the time and when his dad dose get out of bed about 11am all he wants to do is play with his dad but he gets mad at him and said i dont like to wake up and keep telling connor no dont do that and stuff like that. I dont like to look at connor when this happens cause his face just drops.

pamela

TTC a baby girl
https://www.facebook.com/Homemade.by.pamela

Hi Pamela,
Sounds like you are going through a very bad time with your partner. What you need to realise though sweetie, is that you are pregnant, and you must look after yourself NUMBER 1, Connor Number 2, and your partner comes after that!
If he doesn't wan to listen to you another way to tell him what you are going through is to write a letter to him. Write a detailed list of costs in the house, as to how much you would need each week - not forgetting that out of $70 you have to buy [email protected] (I'm presuming Connor is still [email protected] age).
My Hubby and I have just done a budget and we spend an average of $610 per week. However we also give ourselves $75 each a week for our own personal discretion - buy what we want with it! Thats including rent, elect, phone, internet, insurance, HBF, fuel, sport, rego, groceries. A lot of people dont realise how much it adds up to - and especially men who dont physically go and pay the bills.
And write about yourself - how you are feeling about yourself, Connor and him, and where you feel your relationship is going. Ask him questions in the letter about how he feels being a dad and the sole bread winner of the family, and what would he expect from you if he was the stay at home parent - would he like a bit of time out and spending money? Would he like to go to someones place to have to get food for his child?
I'm sorry, but he sounds like he needs to pull his head in and realise that he has a very large responsibility and he cant be looking after himself only now.
If you don't love him, then don't stay with him for the kids sake - you end up doing more damage to the kids thruogh arguments - believe me I have seen a few relationship that have been like this, and the kids end up feral.
Good luck, I hope you find happiness soon, and this is only advice, not telling you what to do, just incase I sound a little bossy!

DD1 July 2004 DD2 August 2007 DS September 2009

I hear you pamela,

I went through something similar with my husband awile ago. Well actually it isn't completely resolved yet.

But anyway my husband is the army and i too don't know where his money goes and he reckons he can't explain it. So anyway i have had to nag him constantly to talk about money because he would just get annoyed and start a fight about it. It was alright for him he was working and earning money but i was home heavily pregnant. I hated askign for money and at one stage we had zero income for a month. Not even cerntrelink which was his fault as he forgot to renew his nursing rego and couln't work for insurance reasons but it was still me buying the basics.

So anyway he moved to canberra with the army and i stayed where i was for many reasons. (that's helped heaps) but at first it was bad cause he bought a very expensive tv which we so had not agree too and an expensive laptop. Man did i go mental. I almost had a breakdown.

But anyway we got our loan consolidated and things were a lot easier financially and he got more of an understanding about how little money we had.

I am still stuggliung to keep him to a budget but slowly gettiung there.

Sorry for the rambling once you start you can't stop. So anyway i don't think that it is acceptable for you or your son to go without food. Not at all. If pride holds you back from asking for more money then stop and realise that he is the problem not you. Put your foot down and say that you need money for food and you will give it to me.

Probably freaking by now saying it sounds easy but it would never happen. You need to try something though. Men never understand. Regarding the car thats crazy too. does he need a new car????

But i hope this helps or at least reassures you that you are not the only one.

Feel free to email me [email protected]

Sheryl

Adam(07/09/01), Holly(08/07/04) & Matthew(230605)

hi pamela,

i can kind of relate to what you r going through, i'm currently a single mum and have been since i was 3 weeks pregnant, i didn't know i was when we broke up, my bf at the time was a complete *&%$#@! and we never had any money, he spent the money we were suppose to pay the rent with on going to the show instead, we never had any food and i had had just enough. the night i got up and left him, he tried to push me and started becoming violebt towards me, thats when i knew i had made the right decision. 3 weeks later i found out i was pregnant, he found out about it and i haven't heard from him at all. that was just over a year ago, his name isn't even on amelias birth certificate.

anyway, i don't know what your other half is like, maybe he just needs some time out and he might realise what an ass he's being.

i agree with gemmagirl, your first priority right now is you, your baby and connor. hopefully he'll see what he's done wrong.

good luck and me and the other girls from AYM are here for you if you need to chat.

sara

Sara, SA, baby girl Amelia 02/05/2005

Sign in to follow this topic