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Custody issues, grandma and father why now? Lock Rss

Id say goodmorning except it hasnt been one, i got a phone call from my eldest daughters biological grandma at 8:30 am wanting me to drop everything and organise for her and her son (the father) to see my daughter today!
i spose i should start from the beginning,
when i was 17 i met david, who was slightly more intelligent then the other dim wits id stupidly surrounded myself with, well a few weeks later i discovered i was pregnant, after getting up the courage to tell my parents they completely shocked me by being 100% supportive of my decision to have the baby and they asked me to move back home so that they could help me through the pregnancy, at this stage i was still "going out" with david but had realised what a loser and drug addict he was moving home and being supported by my entire family helped me decide that i wanted to be a single mum rather then have my daughter grow up in an unstable environment, david also helped with the decision by saying that he thought all kids should try pot by the time they were 8 and that he would give out daughter a cone at the age of 5! so at about 8 weeks pregnant i told him that it was over, nothing was discussed at the time about what role he would be playing in my daughters life, but after each appointment with the obs i would call him and let him know how everything was going, not once did he call me or even sound interested that she was doing well, when i was 34 weeks my waters ruptured and i had to have an emergency cesearean under general anesthetic, i didnt have time to call him to let him know what was going on but after i was out of recovery i apparently (i dont remember anything mum was with me at the time and told me later) asked to ring him to tell him about the birth of his daughter, when i rang apparrantly he screamed down the phone at me for nearly 5 mins before mum hung up on him, he was calling me every name under the sun because i hadnt rung him to tell him, however he lived a few towns away and there was no way he would of made it to the birth even if we had rung (no licence or car) my daughter was in special care for 2 1/2 weeks and david came to see her 2 days after she was born he was stoned at the time and threw a tantrum when told by the nurses that he was not allowed to hold her,
the next day his mum brought me breakfast unbeknowns to me she had taken a job in the hospital kitchen she was very surprised to see me there as she thought that id done what she wanted me to do and had an abortion, when i told her about her grandchild she got a little teary and i took her down to see her, well that was the last time i heard from either of them until charlie was 2 and half years old, (hed changed his phone number) i ran into him in town gave him my number and said if you want to see her call me well about a month after that he started to come and see her about once a week, then one week i said no you cant come today as its my birthday and i have things planned and i told you this last week, well a grown man throwing a tantrum is definitly not on my to hear list, i was once again called everything under the sun, well after that i didnt hear from him agian for nearly six months when he signed an affidavit for my youngest daughters father to help him get visitation rights for my eldest daughter! when that didnt work out i got a letter from the same lawyer representing david and i thought stuff this it had his adddress on it so i took myself over to see him and told him he could see her every second friday for a few hours which he agreed to over several months it slowly got extended to 9 am sat then my daughter started coming home starving hungry and asking my husband and i to buy her david some groceries! the last straw was when she came home with a mild heat exhaustion this was back in september after which i changed the visits to a couple of hours sat morning, then my little girl says to me that she doesnt want to go that she dosnt like david and she wants to stay with me! now i love my daughter and if i was a nasty person that would of made my heart sing but instead i just felt so bad for her that she doesnt want him at all, i tried to speak to david about it but as you can imagine that blew up in my face pretty fast and i once agian got abused on the phone but this time i went off my head back, i have another daughter and a husband and an unborn baby to think about as well why should my life revolve around what he wants? i always try and do what is best for my girls. anyway a couple of days later his mother rang me, mind you she hasnt seen charlotte since she was a couple of days old shes never seen her while she was with her dad, and guilts me by saying that she had organised to see her and can they have her and blah blah , i eventually agreed to the next wednesday but come tuesday i was in hospital and no one was home all day wednesday to take the call she did leave a message but no number for me to ring her on, so i let it go until this morning when she rings me all cranky cause i didnt ring her last week even though she knows i dont have her or her sons numbers, when i said no to seeing her until after i have my baby, im supposed to be stressfree, which is only 5 weeks away she started abusing me and saying i know where you live im going to come over every week and see charlotte whether you like it or not and on top of that she threatened legal action! im soooo furious about it all, i have been taken to court by my youngest daughters father so many times (stupid things hes always had her every second weekend since she was 6 months and breatfeed) but the thing is all those times i was covered by legal aid but now im married and in a fairly ok situation but we still cant afford the $250 odd an hour fees and on top of that its going to be a long process because he isnt on the birth certificate he will have to prove paternity and then theres all the issues with it like his drug problem the fact that even though hes been here for 20 years hes not a citizen and what if he takes offf with her?
anyway i needed to get all this out at least my stress levels have dropped a bit, if anyone has any advice or knows of any support groups (like dads in distress but for mums) please let me know
thankyou to anyone who has read this
violet

Charlie 5, Imee 3, Laura 13mths, and ttc #4!

I'd just like to say... hang in there. I won't even pretend to know what you're going through, but my thoughts are with you. It sounds like you've had a couple of less than perfect people in your life, & they need a kick up the ......

good luck & sorry if I'm not much help.
Hi Violet...I know what your going thru...I am going thru almost the same thing as you. If you want to chat my email is [email protected]

Kelly (23) Brisbane, mum to Tahlia 11months

Hay! I can sort of relate. I fell pregnant with my first @ 17. The father didnt want to know. When my daughter was one, i found him. He came around. Everything was fine, until he got a new girlfriend. He never turned up after that. I thought that was fine. Never heard from him again until about a month ago. He rung. I told him i would have to talk to my new partner about things, he agreed. The decision that my partner and made was that he could not see her until we both spoke to a lawyer. That did not go down well with him. Doesnt want to know now. Some guys are real losers. He does not pay child support. I have a great guy in my life right now. He has treated her like his own. I hope things go well for you.
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