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Splitting Lock Rss

Hi, there, I'm thinking of splitting with my husband. There aren't dramatical events in our marriage. He was generally good to me during my pregnancy, but has changed totally after bub's born. Our current issues are love's no longer in the air,there is no intemacy, he doesn't show me any care or regards, he walks out on me and sick bub all the time, he doesn't want any commitment in the family, doesn't want responsibility and has no plan for family activities. All he wants is to go out or come home whenever he wants, to enjoy his bachelor's life in a marriage and to be babied and spoilt. I'm sick and tired of this, and will call it a quit.

I've gone to legal aid and asked for some advice, but I didn't find that very helpful. All I found out was i couldn't take dd overseas without his permission if we do split.

Our only propoty is a house that still has a morgage. When we talked about splitting, my husband said that he would give me 50%. But I found it unfair because I'd be the primary carer of our 15 months old baby. And in the past years I've contributed to the house more than he does financially. Having said that, currently I'm only working part-time and earning half of his income. I'm the main carer of dd. I asked for a split of 60-40. He said:"Fight for it."
I know if I bring it to court, it won't help much as the solicitor would cost me about the amount I could have. That's just not worth it. I was told that I can present myself in court, i'm not quite sure how to do it though.

Another problem I have is that I'm a migrant here. Both my husband and I are migrants. However, he has his side of family here, a whole lot of them, yet I'm alone. My father is the only one alive on my side of family. And he's overseas. I have a few friends I see 2-3 times a year but haven't got any close friends here. In the past few years, I'd been busy studying, working and focused all on my husband the rest of time, now it turns out when we split, there is not much support available for me.

I welcome all advice and would love to listen to your experiences if you don't mind sharing. Thank you!

[Edited on 29/12/2008]
My mother in law is also a migrant to this country and she and my father in law had a very bitter and twisted divorce, at first it looked like she was going to lose everything then she went to the Women's legal services that will help you it will also direct you to more support for women in ur situation

good luck

i am in the same situation!! am a migrint, only a resident not a permanent,from nz, i have wanted to leave for a long time now,
but i am not aligable for any assistance what so ever as far as i know, i just dont feel like i love him anymore, he is not bad to me but it s just how i feel, any way if i could join this thread, i would like any addvice too i hve no family here and hardly any friends, 3 kids, a new born and a 22month old and a 3 year old,this problem is really starting to consume my life!!!! i feel it is time for me to love life and i dont think i need to wait anymore

Try talking to the Family Relationships Centre of Australia. They are a government based organisation and have a Toll Free Advise Line. It is only advise that they can give and they ca not give out any legal advise.

Family Relationship Advice Line - Freecall 1800 050 321

I have contacted them a few times and found that you need to call them a couple of times at the advise is different each time and each time you find out something new that might be worth trying.

They also have a lot of reading material on there website that might be able to help you.

There are also numerous free legal advise lines around Australia and some are for women only.

sometimes it isnt worth fighting for what you think you are owed - splitting 50 per cent may not seem fair to you now but in the long run with legal costs, going to court, the stress compared to walking away with a reasonable amount and getting on with your life is sometimes more important than $$
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