Huggies Forum

Unfair? Lock Rss

dp and i have recently seperated and have 6 months old DS. He works away (2 weeks on 1 off) and has asked to have DS for only 3 days when he is home. I think it's unfair that i on;y have 3 days off when he comes home. He says he can't take him any longer than that because he needs to see his friends and have a life which i totally understand but so do i!! I love my DS to bits but i would also like a break from him and i don't 3 days is very fair!! anyone else have issues with ex DP/DH and visitation?
Do you think you could cope with being away from your baby for 3 days???? Men don't usually get overnight visitation for such a young child as they are still so reliant on their mothers. Im not sure your baby would even cope being away from you, especially seeing as he doesnt see his father for 2 weeks. When he is older sure, but now.. I think it may be too much on him.

Maybe he could have him for a few hours so you can go to the movies with a friend or something??
I think its a bit unfair on your baby actually. He will have to get to reknow him after 2weeks so to drop a baby of to someone who hasnt been in the picture for 2 weeks is like dropping them off to a stranger.

Whats your babys paternal Grandparents like??? Are they in the picture, helpful and do you get long??? I was thinking maybe if your bubs could build a relationship there so when bubs dad is home then his grandmother could be around and not in such unfamiliar company.
yes ex dh will be living with his parents for now and they have DS overnight once a week so he will no where he is and who is with.
So you CAN obviously cope with not seeing your 6 month old baby for 3 days??? I agree with the other lady, it is unfair on the baby. You had years to go out and have fun pre-baby. Now that he is here, his needs and wants come first. I assume you don't breastfeed???
and what makes you think i want to go out? I'm not angry because i want to go and hit the ooub i'm angry because i'm sick to death of being the only parent and for my sanity i NEED a break!! And what the hell has not breastfeeding got to do with it? Who the hell do you think you are? You dont know me!! So dont judge me!!! And yes i am aware that baby comes first but how bout myself for a change. YOU obviously are mother of the year and NEVER need a break. Well congrats to you lady. I DO!!!!
Don't get all hoity toity with me.. Far out! You are the one that said you wanted to go and see friends in your first post. The breastfeeding comment wasn't a dig on how you fed him, either way is fine as long as he's fed! I just meant that obviously you don't breast feed for him to be able to stay away 3 nights, yes????

And by your own admittance, you have a break every week when he stays at his grandparents overnight. And Im sorry, you don't get to be sick to death of being the only parent, you should feel privileged that you are a parent as many would give their right arm to have what you have.

You are being judged on what you have written, if that is not how you feel or who you are, then dont say the things you said. Just like you have judged me when I havent even said anything about myself. You have just assumed that because I dont agree with your sentiments that I must be the mother of the year.. Hey, Im just as tired and busy as you are, well maybe a little more as I have 4 kids. Of course I need a break too, but I have NO family at all to take any of the children, which is just fine with me as they are my kids and my responsibilty after all. It was my choice to have them, so deal with it I say...

And your baby is only 6 months old... He just wants his mummy, ya know..
i am sorry but i do agree with the other posters.
at 6 months of age i couldnt bare to be apart from my baby at all, let alone for 3 days or more.
My baby is now 13 months old and she has still never been away from me overnight because the idea of not being with her and there for her breaks my heart.
i understand that being a single parent must be incredibly hard and i havent had to go through that myself so i cant say i know how you feel but i do think that your baby is still incredibly young and in my opinion, way to young to be away from his mother for 3 days or more. They are still very dependant on the primary carer at the age.
I would think that one night a week would be plenty enough of a break for you and if it isn't then perhaps you might want to look at some other coping strategies by speaking to a GP or child health clinic.
Babies are only young for a very short time. Take my word for it that you will blink and they will no longer be a baby and you will wish you had that time back. Try to enjoy the time you do have and when he is older, then increase the time he spends with his dad.
Far out. So you get one night off a week, and then you want 3 nights off a fortnight? So the week that your ex has your baby you will have 4 nights off? Or will you have him the one night that his grandparents usually have him? And you want more nights off? If he's only off for a week then he has two days to relax, and you get 4? Hmmmmmmm
I think you're getting the best end of the deal. No he's not there during the night and stuff, but I have a husband and he's never gotten up to DS because he has to go to work the next day. Sounds like you're getting more than enough help and timeout.
[Edited on 08/01/2009]

thank you mummytoashlee that put it into perspective. as for you miss thing you are the exact reason i was weary of joing this group. it's oppionated mothers like you who think that jusst because you have multiple chlidren that you are somehow more experianced than a person with 1. Just because i have 1 child doesn't make me any less tired than you are. The differance is i ask for help. Maybe if you did have a break it would give you time to pull that poll out from your butt and get out in the real world where not every mother wants to be around 24/7 for their child. I've read a few of your posts and a lot oh them are not about giving advice so much as it is you TELLING people how it should be done because that is how you do it!!! Wll congratulate yourself honey. You are officially my hero!! One day when i reach 45/50 i hope to be the same sort of opionated cow you are!!! Huggies has lost one more member though something tells me you have been the driving force behind a few people leaving this site. Good luck to you!! with an attitude like that your gonna need it. Oh and by the way.. Hoity toity? please nobody under teh age of 40 uses that anymore
I suppose for you it seems unfair but for him he's only home for 7 days every three weeks. He probably is just dividing those days equally. You might find you miss your baby too much if he's gone anymore than that anyway...good luck

i understand what you are saying but you do have to see that he is going off to work not to party or probably seems to you that you are the sole carer of the baby.does he pay you child support?i have 5 kids and im only 35 and love i do get tired and think god someone give me a break but when some of my kids are at their dads i make the most of in those three days do everything you want to do sleep,party,rest,read abook etc.dont worry about other people on this site your entitled to your own opinion,just like they are.some people jump the gun.all the best.
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