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Not happy Lock Rss

Hey,
Usually i am a very happy person i have a wonderful baby boy and i love my boyfriend (sometimes), but lately i just dont care about anything.
Now we still live with his parents and he is 26 and i am always at home looking after our son and he works and goes out to his mates house everyday and everyday he cames home and accusses me of cheating and it is really starting to get me.
He thinks that while he is at work i go to his friends house and sleep with people there (i hate his friends they treat him like crap he is like there taxi), he thinks i am sleeping with people in our bed, now i really do love him and i would never never never cheat on him, but there is always someone at home here with me and thats his mother or his neice and he thinks they are in on it. He even comes home everyday and inspects my private area and always said that its been used when it clearly hasnt.
I admit when he goes to his mates house he is smoking the wakky tubbaky (i hate the stuff) he says it makes him happy, but everytime he comes home he is a complete a hole. He calls me names when he thinks i have slept with other men like fat Sl*t, Stupid Biatch and so on and when he is being nice i am a d**k head. I know i call him names but not names like that. I have pet names for him like sexy pants and i Never get anything nice said to me. Except when he wasnt something which he gets everynight if he doesnt get it he thinks i have had enough cause ive already had it.

I ask him to get me medicine for our DS and he lies on his arse and says i dont know where it is, now its has been in the same place since Zayne was born in the fridge or he doesnt know how much he needs, WHAT HE CANT READ?? >:-<

I just cant take it anymore i really cant but i love him and i dont like being called a cheater when i am not a cheater, I am really p***ed off and i would love someone to talk to. I havent gone to see a doctor cauae i figured its just a thing that will pass soon and if i do go he will tell me i am an idiot.
I dont wanna leave him cause i do love him and i love our son and want him to grow up with his really mummy and daddy.
Can anybody relate???
Thanks for reading my post, i just needed to get it all out.

Hey Sammi,

Sorry but your boyfriend sounds like a complete d*ckhead. There is no way i would be letting him treat me like that.

Quote
"He even comes home everyday and inspects my private area and always said that its been used when it clearly hasnt."

Ummm something about that makes alarm bells ring in my head. Usually the first sign of an abusive person is lack of trust and being controlling. Not saying he hits you, but i wouldnt be suprised if it doesnt turn out like that. You have to ask yourself if you want to live the rest of your life like this, he isnt going to change, and drugs is not an excuse. Do you want to be in a relationship where you are constantly put down? Living in that sort of environment is going to do your son more harm then good. I'd rather my son not have a father then to be bought up in such a manner where the son is going to learn from his fathers behaviour and not respect women.
Be interesting to see what everyone else thinks but seriously, you deserve to be treated respectfully and as an equal in a relationship, not as a doormat.

The Deeks 07/08/02, Googie 23/11/04

Sweetheart get out of there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


at least for a while tell him your leaving until he gets his act together and wants to appreciate what he has..

and if he doen't mabey you and bubba are better off moving on and meeting someone that loves you for who you are if you want to talk e-mail me
your never alone!!!

mimloveslillie@hotmail.com

Lillie....1 year old!!!

hi zaynesmumma
oh my god ,what are you doing girl,you are living the life i had 13years ago and i was your age as well.sweetie its time to go cause i can tell you know he wont change and no matter what you say or do he,s going to call you a cheater ,he,s either just a complete wanker or hes cheating on you,or like my ex of ten years now could have a drug addiction it starts with pot and ends with something harder.anyway dont staybecause you have nowhere to go or no one to love you because believe me the right right guy will turn up i found mine nearly 7 years ago when my son was 6.5 and know we have two babies together.what do his parents say about his behaviour..your son is better of with one loving parent than two parents who are so horrid to each other.i feel like im looking in the mirror ,i spent the last 18months of that relationship getting my ass kicked litteraly,bruise after bruise,excuse after excuse,him saying he couldnt live without me when i told him i was leaving.then came the day when my son would call me a *** because thats the crap he heard his so called father call me trashinh my stuff throwing things at me ashing on me this is what it will come to ,.you have to think long and hard.i put up with crap like that for 8 very long years 16yrs to 24 the only good thing out that relationship is my now 13 year old son,he was nearly three when i finaaly left for good after the hundreth time.
good luck sweetie.you can vent to me anytime i"ll reply
chris


chris wa 1yr, 2yrs 14 yr

Hey,

how long has he been acting like this he souldn't be treating you like that how do u know that his at his mates place how u know that his not cheating and he comes home saying your cheat just to cover up what he is doing behind your back if he cant get off his ass and go to the fridge to get things like medication for your child you need to leave he wont change his sill like a child he go out because he misses the single life and party life that why he lets you stay at home with the child while his out he is only thinking about him self and not u and your child.

GET OUT BECAUSE U ARE NOT HAPPY AND IF YOUR NOT HAPPY HOW CAN YOU MAKE YOUR CHILD HAPPY YOU DONT NEED A GUY LIKE THAT YOU NEED A MAN THAT TEARTS YOU RIGHT
Hi zaynesmumma,i just came across this thread and whilst i am no expert my sil was in a similar situation. PLEASE dont wait for him to change, he wont! He might be nice for a little while long enough for you to think he has. This type of emotional abuse is disgusting! Dont let him cut you off from friends and family you really need to be surrounded by people that love and care for you.

I dont mean to preach but my heart goes out to you because i have seen what my sil became, a quiet shadow of a person with no self confidence. i also know that you wont be able to leave until you get the strength, it doesnt matter how many people tell you that you should. Just know that you are a great person, a wonderful mum( im sure) and you dont need to have someone in your life to be a great person. He doesnt sound like a great person for your son to have in his life. Please take care.
Sorry if I sound preachy, idont mean to come across that way, i have never personally been in your situation and its always easier being an outsider looking in.
I hope everything is going well for you Sammie. I know how hard it is when you love them and you have a child with them. Life seems like it will never get better.

Do you have family close by? My sister went thru this and never told us. Make sure your family know that he treats you this way. It releases so much off your shoulders and then they know why you are upset....and they can help only if you want them to.

You are an amazing woman to stay with him this long and I think you should do whatever is best and if you don't mind me putting my thoughts in...

Can I just say that kids can gro up with both mummy and daddy, their real parents while they don't live together and still be fantastic kids. You just need to make sure if you go that he is willing to do his bit and take your little boy when he should. If he doesn't think he can, then it's best if you don't promise Zayne when he is going to stay with Dad.

I'm sorry if ive offended you. I didn't want to I just wanted you to know that even if you dont live with your partner, your little boy will be fine and sowill you!!! You hav gotten this far,so you can do anything!

Liz
Hello smile

Ok, you're man sounds like he is extreamly paranoid and the way he is treating you is so wrong. If you feel like you need to get away from him then you probably should just pack up and leave one day when he isn't around, he sounds a bit scary and if i was you i'd be worried that he might get worse.
You said you were worried his family will take you to court and tell lies about you. thats horrible, but don't let them imtimidate you, after all HE is the one taking drugs so doesn't that make him the unfit parent? And you have your family to support you. Plus hear-say never holds up in court.

Bec xo
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