Huggies Forum

Confused Lock Rss

I think it might be over between my dp and i. I am moving in with mum for a while as i feel like i need to get out or else it will definitely be over but i don't know if it is already too late.

The thought of moving out makes me sad as i though he was the one but then most of the time when i'm with him i just feel like i don't love him anymore.

I know i need to get away to gain some perspective as i'm getting angry over little things like him snoring or leaving clothes on the floor, things he says etc.

I know when he goes to kiss me goodbye i want to turn my head so he kisses my cheek not my lips.....

BLAH
Dont know what to think.
i totally understand where u r. that was me nearly 3 yrs ago i had an 18month old son and was fighting with his dad everyday. i didnt want him to touch me couldnt stand the thought of him kissing me or even hugging me.

i moved out into my mums house and after a few months decided that it was over he wasnt what i wanted or what my son needed. his idea of being a daddy was coming home from work (when he felt like going that is) and sitting on the comp until dinner time.

remove yourself from the situation for a little while see about some counselling just so u can talk to someone who can listen without judgement.
and remember to do whats best for u and your child.

good luck

Yep- his current job requires 12 hour days average- he only gets paid for 8. He comes home and is so tired he falls asleep on the lounge. Has naps on his rare days off, goes in to work on his days off.

Hardly does anything for the kids- he'll shower with them but i dry and dress them. I cant remember the last time he actually played with them. I suggested we start taking ds to the park more often like we used to and he said 'what for?'

I grew up with an absent workaholic father and i dont want that for my kids. He wasnt always like this.
I'm so sorry to hear that things are not working for you right now. As you said, perhaps some distance will help give you (and him) some perspective? I went through a bad patch like this with my DH after I had my DS2, it lasted about 9 months. I couldn't stand for him to touch me and I felt like I was left to do everything for the kids and the house while he worked crazy hours.

I stayed and I got through it, and now we are happier together than ever before. I don't want to down play how you are feeling, but I once heard someone say, that you can't both be in love all of the time. Perhaps you have just fallen out of love right now and need some time? I think you're doing the right thing, having a break to see how you feel in a little while.

I wish you all the best, and hope that no matter the outcome it is the one you want.
I have recently split from my partner. He has a real issue with work (or lack of!). He gets a good job and the minute he stops enjoying it, he becomes extremely lazy and ends up losing it for having too many days off.

I can't live like that anymore so I asked him to move out. He is going to live with is brother and sort himself out. If I can see in 10-12 months that he has had a stable job and is heading in the right direction to make a better life, then I will be more than happy to be with him but until then, I need to be by myself.

I'm hoping the distance will work and he will do the right thing. Time will tell!

Sorry if this is out of line but....

Sounds to me like you are "over the guy" but not the relationship does that make sense? Its just you sound like me when i was with my sons father.
We had been together for 6-7 years and i was aggitated by him, he was breathing to loud or the way he squinted or the shirt he was wearing, if he tried to be affectionate i was grossed out! but couldnt bring myself to leave as started thinking i would miss it.

Anyway i think im trying to say that you may be over him, but want the security and comfort of the relationship. Its your comfort zone.

Does that make sense?

Durring the time apart, maybe you can figure out if you are missing him or if you are missing the relationship.

Hope that didnt offend you, i didnt know how else to word it. but meant it in the helpful way smile
Goodluck.

Mum to Campbell (7) Kaitlyn (2) and Pippa (newborn

Thanks for your replies.

Unfortunately anytime i try talk to him about our problems he either says he doesn't want to talk about it or he says we don't have a problem.

Posted by: MummyH.
Sorry if this is out of line but....

Sounds to me like you are "over the guy" but not the relationship does that make sense? Its just you sound like me when i was with my sons father.
We had been together for 6-7 years and i was aggitated by him, he was breathing to loud or the way he squinted or the shirt he was wearing, if he tried to be affectionate i was grossed out! but couldnt bring myself to leave as started thinking i would miss it.

Anyway i think im trying to say that you may be over him, but want the security and comfort of the relationship. Its your comfort zone.

Does that make sense?

Durring the time apart, maybe you can figure out if you are missing him or if you are missing the relationship.

Hope that didnt offend you, i didnt know how else to word it. but meant it in the helpful way smile
Goodluck.


I wasnt offended and your post made a lot of sense. The other night i was thinking how much i'd like to go to bed and get a big strong cuddle but when i went into bed and saw him sprawled out snoring and dribbling on his pillow i thought "no i dont" lol

Mum is having surgery next week so once she has recovered we'll go stay with her for a while.
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