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  5. Am i over reacting??????????????????????

Am i over reacting?????????????????????? Lock Rss

Hi girls, just need a bit of advice or a bit of a vent. And i am more than likely over reacting.

Ok here goes and sorry for the TMI.

This has happened a few times, I will want to do the deed with my hubby and ask, make suggestions etc. But i get no to tired or some form of excuse.
but when i wake up in the morning ( as he has stayed up later) i will find that he has pleasured himself. ( i usually know cos he never cleans up properly).
Now dont get me wrong, i dont care if does play with himself, but i do feel a little hurt when i want sex and get turned down, to then find out he watch porn while pleasuring himself.
When i have asked him about it, he just says, its less effort to play with myself, rather than have sex with me.
Makes me feel very low in self esteem and wonder whether he is losing interest. Mind you, we have been married for a little over a year now.
Maybe i am getting offended over nothing. I dont know.
Thanks for listening to me vent.
I too would be offended and hurt. I think maybe you need to talk to him more about it see whats happening. Also he can't be that tired if he stays up after you, if he was tired you would think that he would be going to bed when you do.
I too wouldnt mind if he was the one who wanted it and i didnt and husband went to do the deed by himself.
Have you tried to spice things up a little?

Yep, i have tried, spicing it up, by doing things he like me to do, wearing things he likes (wont give you to much info).
I just always get the whole i am to tired. Then if i try talking to him about it. He says, its not like your hard done by. sad sad
I really dont know what to do.
Has he always been like this???
And instead of him talking you tell him how you feel about it and see if that changes.

no he hasnt, Its been within the last maybe 6-9 months. But nothing that i can work out that has made him change.
I will give it a go. Ask him not to say anything until he hears how i am feeling.
I don't think you're overreacting at all - i would be so hurt and worried in your situation. Hubby and i have been together 10 years and in all those years he's only knocked me back once and that was because he was really really tired and fell straight asleep. Even knowing that, i was really hurt and it was a real blow to my ego.
I hope you can figure out what's going on cos it's not acceptable that he won't sleep with his wife but chooses to pleasure himself with porn instead. Let him know exactly how you feel and hopefully he'll give you a reasonable explanation as to why he's like that.
Good luck smile

Thanks girls for the support.
No, I don't think you are over reacting either, Peady. Agree with the others, you need to work things out and talk.


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