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jealous of grand parents Lock Rss

hi, everytime i go to my partners mums house i feel really jealous of his mum holding my lil one, she like really fusses over here tomuch, and every min she makes a noise and runs to her i tell her leave her shes sleeping its normal, but she jsut takes her and she is always saying can u leave her here and stuff shes to young for that i think i dont trust her. my partners mum shes a really moody person. but in the same case i go to my partners dads house (as his parents are split) and im fine with like his stpe mum and dad. i dont know wat to do.
My MIL does the same thing and gets angry at me when I tell her not to do something to the baby... The other day she wiped up wee with a tissue and then went to wipe spit off the baby's mouth with the same one. I would rather leave my baby with a dingo than my MIL, and I remain silent everytime she says "You can leave the bab with me when you return to work". All I do is tell her politely and firmly that it may have been what she did for her children, but its not done anymore due to better scientific research. As for the picking up while sleeping, put her in a seperate room at the house and firmly state that "I am trying a new sleeping technique recommended to me and that you are not to run in to the baby, or else I will have to not come over until the pattern has been established and god knows how long that could take"... The slightest idea of not seeing the baby sends mt MIL into a guilt ridden frenzy. Good luck

Rish, SA, 3 mth baby

Hiya! I agree completely! My MIL and her family live like pigs and while I am not a tidy person, I will not have my son around filth!! They breed dogs and have a menagerie of animals, rats chooks, birds, five dogs, cats, etc. They are really disgusting, and I dont say that lightly....My MIL really does try with DS, but I really resent the fact that at some point I will have to let my DS go and stay at his grandparents!!
I look at the job my inlaws have done in raising their kids and I shudder to think they will have an influence over my DS!!
For me it comes down to morals and standards and unfortunately they really do NOT cut it!!
My MIL also is dead set about my DS riding one of her horses...like he is a few weeks old and she has him down with the horses and letting the horses touch him and stuff...GGRRRR.
Anyway thats my rant...sorry to take over, but I know how you feel!!

Me, NSW & DS 22.12.04

hi,

i have a lot of trouble with my MIL as she is an alcoholic and despite knowing we are coming for a visit she stills drinks her cask wine and i have always said no-one who has been drinking will hold my daughter! which i think is fair i dont want her to have to breathe in the smell of alcohol, not to mention the risks of her dropping her. yet despite us both telling her regularly she stills asks and asks, making me feel extremely guilty for saying know, especially since she has only held her twice and bubs is now 10 weeks old!! but she keeps chosing to drink when we are due to come for a visit.
sadly i also have problems with my mum. mum loves bubs but she wont let her make just a tiny little noise be4 mum picks her up, and she talks to bubs about her 'loving grandma' and she takes over every feed, nappy change and wont at times let me hold my own daughter. so i get very jealous and angry, i too think "she's my baby, give her back!!" yet i am fine with my dad and step mum, but they also dont try to take over so i feel more relaxed.. maybe you also feel more relaxed and safe with your partners dad and step mum.
and there's nothing wrong with being jealous it just shows how devoted you are as a mum. just tell you MIL that you love your baby and are doing what you know is best and ask her to respect that. try talking to your partner that might help you to find the confidence to stick up for yourself.
good luck!!

Renee, SA, 8 wk baby girl, 4 yr old boy

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