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Having a BAD day today Lock Rss

Today I'm a mess. I've been a blubbering fool most of the day, and I just can't get a grip on myself, I can't stop sobbing my eyes out and its freaking me out. My husband has been gone for almost 3mths now and I appear to everyone like I'm handling it but I'm so not. I'm so angry and I've got no way of letting it out because I'm with my kids 24/7 and I don't want them to feel the stress so I'm always trying to smile, doesnt usually work and Lucas cops it the most coz I'm always growling him. My husband comes over Mon, Wed, Fri to see the kids and I can't take it out on him coz Lucas notices when I'm angry at his Daddy and I don't want him to think badly of his father. He's told me that he's hooking up with other chicks but not having sex with them. ?? What the hell am I supposed to do? He's my husband and I love him but I'm not going to go back to that crap, and yet the thought of someone else with him makes me want to physically be sick. Dammit he's sposed to be mine! How dare he, how could he leave us? How come I'm not enough for him? How come our babies aren't enough? Man I would give up the world for our marriage and it doesn't mean a freakin thing to him. Don't tell me I need help, I know I need help I just don't know how to get it, I don't want my family or friends to feel more sorry for me than they already do coz that'll just make me feel worse, can't afford counselling even if I wanted to. Please can someone tell me how to get through this, I so want him back but I just can't go back to how we were coz it'll kill me and destroy our kids

Mummy to Lucas 11.10.03, Josiah & William 14.12.05

Dear Mummyluv,

I am so sorry you are being put through this. The first thing I want to do is send you a big hug.

It sounds as though you need some time out for yourself but this is hard for you as you are putting up a brave front for your family and friends. May I suggest that you speak to your doctor or child health nurse about your situation as they may be aware of some resources that you do not know about. I suggest this because I have recently supported my best friend through a similar situation and she found her local GP a great soruce of information and help.

Please don't go through this alone. You have a right to be angry and upset and you will probably find that your family and friends do not expect you to be as brave as you are and are porbably wnating to do anything they can to help you.

Big cuddles from me too...

3 under 3- 15 month gaps. Busy but loving it eìí?

Hi, you are having a bad day hey, but considering everything that has happened to you you have every right. You are doing it so tough, coping with your husband leaving and supporting your young family is an extreamly difficult job but you will get through this.
I know this isn't the same, but I can sort of understand where you are coming from. I haven't seen my partner for over 2 months, we are on a break and trying to sort things out, Im not sure if we will end up together again, its a very scary situation and a hurtful one. I think to myself why everyday, and i live in hope that he will come back. You get to the point where all your emotions just build up and you feel like if you dont do something you are going to burst. you keep hoping they will change but at the back of your mind you know they wont, its frustrating because you know that you are not the one that is causing the problems, he is and if you can be a good person why can't he. Its not fair.

There are free counselling services out there, you just need to know to ask for help. Asking for help can be so hard, especially when you want to show everyone that you can do it on your own, you are strong, you are not a victim and what he did isn't going to ruin your life. But if you dont ask for help you are never going to get it.

Speak to your doctor, explain the situation to him or her and chances are there will be someone you can be referred to.

You need to speak your troubles out to someone who isn't going to judge you and is going to listen to your problems, cos thats what you really need, someone to listen to what you are saying. You are so angry right now because the person you loved most in the world had betrayed you and that will take a bit to get over, he isn't listening to how you feel and no matter how hard you try he isn't getting what you're saying.

Please speak to your doctor, dont shut out your family and friends, they love you very much.

Take care

bec xo
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