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why dont men here what we are saying??? Lock Rss

Oh My god i could Kill my fiance i mean i could kill him.

This morning i just had it with him. For us its all because he works and he thinks i dont what looking after 2 boys 21 months and 6 weeks isnt a full time job well hells bells i got half an hour sleep last night and got up at 5am to a screaming toddler who was full of energy. I understand he works from 9pm to 5am and all but he comes home to me crying cause i am so sleepy and then tells me to deal with he gose to work all night and thats bad.

Well hello he sleeps during the day until he gets up and gose to work.

I wish he would just open his eyes to what i deal with and how i feel i havent stoped after having an emergancy c-section and its starting to all catch up with me i was never this grumpy befor and i never felt this bad befor.

grrrrr dam men

TTC a baby girl


Hey I think you stole my DH. LMAO.

Mine also works but from 6:30am-5pm.

When my DD was a baby (6 years ago) we both worked full time as I returned to work as we were desperately saving for a house. He used to just get up about 15 minutes prior to leaving and get himself ready and go.

Mind you we both used to start work at 7am and I would get up at about 5:30-6 to get DD and myself ready so I could leave with DH at about 20 to 7.

After a while, I decided I would work part time and he reluctulantly (SP?) agreed.

Since then things have improved immensely and I still have a spat every now and then moreso about the lack of help when he is home (picking up after himself and DD) and I complain that my 6 year old does NOTHING and won't pick up or pack away after herself.

He used to get all defensive and get the ****. He now pitches in just for a few hours and that seems to vent my anger and I calm down.

I think it's more a case of them not showing empathy then them not helping- but that's just my opinion.

Maybe try to organise a babysitter (for just a few hours) or sit him down if you are lucky enough to get both kids to sleep at once and tell him how you feel. You have to stimulate his ego by saying you appreciate he is the breadwinner but you just want a little bit of help!

My DH and I spent about 3 months attending marraige counselling a couple of years ago as things were very dicey. The one good thing that came out of it; I now know that men have domestic blindness and they need to be specifically told what you would like them to do to help.

I used to get the **** and make smart remarks like "don't get up dear, I'll just do it all" or I would just bang things cleaning with the **** while he sat and watched tv.

Now I ask him before I start; usually I'll say to him today I need to get this done and then say can you do this, this and this for me.

Having said all this, if you ask them to get the washing off the line be prepared that he'll probably get them off (folded if you're really lucky) and the basket will only just make it inside the back door to the floor (still in the basket)-This is what I mean by being specific; if you want them put away as well you have to sat this.

Sounds a bit like you are talking to a kid, hey?
My DH is going to get a bit of a culture shock in 6 weeks as I'm also having a cs and will not be able to do much for a few weeks.

Did yours help when you first came home from hospital?

Did you watch Oprah yesterday? It was about 'why men do the things they do?'- bloody hilarious!!!!!!!!!

Good luck, they are very strange creatures.

I just realised how long this post is. LOL!!!!!!!! Sorry!!!

Jo, DD 7yrs dance addict; little man 13 months

hi connors mummy, i had this same argument with my fiance! he thought that his work was actual work, and i sat on the internet all day. well, i had news for him. for 1 whole day, i did NOTHING!!! no dishes, washing (his work clothes), no dinner, absolutely nothing. he got home to a warzone!!!!! when asked what i did all day, i politely (but smugly) told him i was on the internet all day. his attitude soon changed when i sat him down and explained exactly what i do, and if he's not happy with that, i'll get a job and he can be house husband. that was the end of that subject!

Tania. WA, Daniel - 26/01/06... smile

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