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  5. Do you get along with your in laws?

Do you get along with your in laws? Lock Rss

I really struggle to get along with my in laws ... in fact, I struggle with hubby's whole family!

They all live interstate so we usually only see his parents every few months when they come to visit. His sisters have only come to see us once in the 5 years that we've lived here and that was when we got married!

Anyway it has now been over a year since we last saw his fam and hubby has proposed we drive down to see them for a week. I am DREADING this as I can't stand the thought of being stuck with them for a whole week! This is starting to cause a lot of friction between me & hubby. Also, don't want to stop my daughters from knowing his family and their cousins.

I know a lot of people struggle to get along with family. Just wondering how you deal with it? Any help / advice would be appreciated. Thanks smile
Nope! I haven't spoken to them in nearly 2 years, they have made my life miserable since i had my daughter and i have decided that i will not allow such negative people in my life!

The rest of DH's family chose to believe his mothers lies over the truth, so i don't speak to them either. I was really upset last year when we weren't invited to DH's cousin's birthday because of the "issues" going on. Mind you ive NEVER made a scene with them when i have had to socialise with them. The whole lot of them can take a long walk of a short pier wink

They have never made an effort with DD, they prefer to use her as a pawn to gain sympathy and DH is also fed up with their BS.

My advice is have a few drinks! I could think of nothing worse than being stuck with my in-laws for a week!
I cant stand my inlaws (there is a lot of history so i wont go there) but i made it very clear to dh that when we were visiting i would use it as an excuse for me to get alone time. I would go shopping for the day,get my hair done, massages, movies on my own...anything to get out of the house. This worked until mil started to invite herself along. Now i just refuse to go anywhere near them.
But i really guess it depends on how old your kids are
My partners mum hates my guts and doesn't hide it, also her partner is only 3 years older than me (23/26) and thinks hes going to be a grand dad, YEAH RIGHT!! My parents won't even speak to my partner, so will be interesting to see how things go once babys born...Itd be lovely if everyone could get along,but sadly,these people are stuck in the past.
i actually get along quite well with my inlaws, they are lovely people and very caring and generous BUT very opinionated and old fashioned. they tend to disagree with alot of my life choices and beliefs so as long as i keep my opinions to myself and choose my battles so to speak we get on fine wink the only real major hiccup weve had was when we told them we were not going to baptise any of our kids...THAT didnt go down well and they still bring it up from time to time, we just say its not up for discussion and to leave the issue alone.

all in all im pretty lucky with DH family, theyre strick roman catholic and i grew up with hippies and wear a bindi on my head most of the time! haha needless to say it took a little while for them to warm to me..but im just loveable haha!! grin

so yeah my advise..pick your battles. its only for a week so let the little things slide smile
I get along fine with my inlaws. But in saying that, I'd prefer them in smaller doses..... My parents are in a different state, so have hardly seen my DS, MIL lives about an hours drive away, and she complains that she doesn't get to see DS enough when she'll see him every weekend, and sometimes more.... Um, at least you do see him..... And DS is going through a clingy stage to me at the moment, and MIL is always trying to grab him off me, which makes DS cry, so I take him back, because there is no need for him to be crying and I don't like listening him cry.

Sometimes when my DH husband is talking to his mother, DS might be a little whingy lately, MIL will say, "Oh, he just needs his granny..." Not likely, when he won't even go to his father....

My SIL's 2 children drive me crazy, they are always all over my DS and a bit rough for my liking (protective mother instinct). SIL doesn't really say much to her kids, BIL does sometimes, my husband hardly takes notice, so I feel like I'm an ogre for always asking them to back off and not be so rough. And we see them at least once a week too...

Gosh, I feel better getting that out. Sorry if too much information...

But in all, they are all lovely people....

Advise??? Hmmm, probably not much, but at least it is only a week (yes, I know a week can be quite long though). Hope the visit all goes well....
i get along really well with my mil, in fact we are like best friends. my fil, well that's another kettle of fish. they are divorced and live 1000 of miles away... but mil is coming to live with us, i cant wait smile
Can you talk to your husband about making it a proper holiday rather than a "visit to his family"? I'd book somewhere to stay in the same town as his family live/next town over so that you're not with them 24/7. Plan day trip activities in the local area so you've got plans for some days that don't have to involve his family but that, if things are actually going well with them, you can say something like "we were going to do xyz tomorrow, would you like to come along too?".

Its a compromise, you're making time to spend with his family but it isn't the sole focus of the trip and gives you some down time away from them if things are really getting too much. Additionally, if things get really bad with the in laws, do what a pp said and take some time to do something on your own while your DH takes the kids to visit his family.

I love my in laws and think they're fantastic people but even I wouldn't want to spend a whole week with them with us all under the one roof constantly.

Leisa.
My MIL & FIL are amazing, They are like the parents I never had & have been my biggest support since we found out we were expecting DD.... BUT SIL hates my guts!!!! We are not speaking after she deleted some memory cards & caused a massive family argument, Its going to make for some fun family occasions tongue But Im also the opposite to most people in the fact that I dont (& cant) talk to MY mother... She is like the nightmare In Law Im supposed to have!!!

Can you talk to your husband about making it a proper holiday rather than a "visit to his family"? I'd book somewhere to stay in the same town as his family live/next town over so that you're not with them 24/7. Plan day trip activities in the local area so you've got plans for some days that don't have to involve his family but that, if things are actually going well with them, you can say something like "we were going to do xyz tomorrow, would you like to come along too?".

Its a compromise, you're making time to spend with his family but it isn't the sole focus of the trip and gives you some down time away from them if things are really getting too much. Additionally, if things get really bad with the in laws, do what a pp said and take some time to do something on your own while your DH takes the kids to visit his family.

I love my in laws and think they're fantastic people but even I wouldn't want to spend a whole week with them with us all under the one roof constantly.

Leisa.
i really like my father in law.....but his 4th wife and I are very different she has a potty mouth at times, and we just don't click..i don't so some of the conversations can be really awkward as i can not help but chringe...anyway...she gets on fine with his brothers partner..in fact they have her on FB but not me...brothers partner is like her, doesn't have a problem with that kind of potty banter, and they get on better with her....i think it started when i didn't go to his dads wedding..to the 4 th wife...goes against my beliefs of marriage and i thought it was a disgrace...as they can not have kids..in their 50s, were already sleeping together and living together so what is the point...anyway my hubby has made things alot worse as he has put me through quite alot with his drinking, plus he had a few drunken 1 night stands..the fact that his dad has no idea of what his son has put me through does make me feel awkward around his family as i battled depression and have been in and out of the workforce, i feel judged by them...i feel like saying i would not have gotten depressed if your son had control of himself....i have been with my hubby for 11 years nearly....opinions from others do not bother me..it tells you who they are...but i do feel judged, when i definitely shouldn't my hubby should be.......i am polite by nature..i have made it known to hubby i do not like his dads wife that much....she does talk about his kids in a negative light at times which i have defended both his brother and sister while my hubby just sits there and says nothing....my hubby is the type of person where he wants everyone to like him...so he is never truly himself....i think with this i have to just keep being polite...i know she talks about me etc, type of person she is, i dont think she is a bad person, just 2 faced a little and we don't click...makes me sad...i wish his birth mum was a nicer woman, no longer in his life..i always had a vision of getting on great with the inlaws..but for me it is not to be...advice from me would be just be polite and with visits...the more you talk the quicker time flies, lol
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