Huggies Forum

The Huggies Forum is closed for new replies and topics, you can still read older topics.

MIL is unstable... Lock Rss

hi all, as some of you may know, my MIL is, well...strange. aside from giving my 16 week old son some roast lamb (that he couldve choked on), she is very 'unstable'. she has a history of depression, and has attempted suicide numerous times.
the last time she attempted suicide, she had just had an argument with her daugher. SIL told MIL that if she kept going the way she was, that she would not be involved in her grandaughters life. SIL left, and MIL tried to overdose. MIL rang me, and it was me and DH to the rescue.
my problem is this: im scared to leave DS with MIL in fear of what she does while im not there. she's already given him roast meat. she's given her other grandaughter EGG as her first food. a lot of things i dont agree with. BUT... i cant tell her this. im scared she will try to kill herself again, and i couldnt live with myself if she did. i dont know what to do here, because i know what she's like, and i dont know if its a safe environment for my DS to be in.
has anybody been in the same situation? if so, what did you do?

Tania. WA, Daniel - 26/01/06... smile

Boy Tania you really are having a rough trot lately....with hubby and your MIL...you poor thing.

Is you MIL receiving treatment for her depression?
Usually medication is a huge help, as long as they want to help themselves.

As far as leaving your DS with her....well personally i wouldnt. Maybe hubby could sit down and have a chat with her regarding what you would like done with DS, and she needs to respect your parenting decisions. I feel this needs to a joint decision between you and hubby..... because if anything did happen to her, then of course you would get the blame.

Does she have a husband or partner?? How do they feel about her depression and about having the grandkids?

I dont know if i have been much of a help, but goodluck!
Hi Tania
I can't say i've been in your situation, it sounds really bad. My MIL is a bit nutty and she has some weird ideas about stuff. But my hubby and i have decided that we're never going to leave our daughter with her, i hope he remembers this later otherwise i'll have to be the mean one and tell her. I think she's a little frightened of me anyway, which suits me just fine. You can't control what your MIL does as regards to attempting suicide, but you shouldn't feel that you have to jeopardise your daughter's safety just in case she tries to kill herself. I wouldn't leave my daughter with her, personally, my daughter's life is more important than her's. This may sound a bit harsh but think about how you'll feel if she does something harmful to your daughter. Just visit her with your daughter and if she threatens to kill herself say you won't be blackmailed like that. What does your hubby say, she's his mother after all?

DD 18 months

Hi bubs_and _us
we must have the same MIL just after i met DH his mum tried to commit suicide again ,i hadnt met her at that stage ,but have little patience for people who have tried to commit suicide,just bloody do it right if your gonna do it and stop making the rest of the family suffer,because honestly if you really wanted to do it there are plenty of right ways of doing not just swallowing a few pills that are going to screw you up for awhile. when i did meet her i told her this and 7 years later she hasnt tried again.
she does sh*t just to be the centre of attention and she tried this last weekend on DD birthday but starting a argument with DH on why she didnt get a mothers day card (she should have been grateful he rang)
Anyway as for leaving your DS with her i wouldn't(well dont actually the only time MIL and FIL see the kids is when im there or its not at all )These are your children and you are the one that decides whats best for them,if your not comfortable with her then you really need to say something ,if all goes well she might tell you to pi** off and that she never wants to see you again if your lucky LOL

chris wa 1yr, 2yrs 14 yr

Hi Tania, I feel for you...but it is YOUR child and YOUR decision. If you want to 'tiptoe' around it you could just explain that your DS staying overnight previously was a 'one off' thing as it was a necessity (due to your reason already given) and that you simply would prefer not to be apart from him overnight or long periods of time or at all for that matter...I am finding now that my son is getting a little older I hate to be away from him, even for a short while. If it were me I wouldn't be leaving him there, you hear two many sad stories of things that happen nowdays.
And Bizzymum, I agree, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and some people seem over sensitive but I think sometimes (especially on these forums) it is just a bit of vent for us all, it's hard to tell how to take comments sometimes as we can't hear or see each other. I must admit it hit a bit of a nerve with me, my father threatened suicide for years (approx 15 yrs) and had a couple of sad attempts that were obvious cries for help. But the one time he threatened my mother with it and she replied with comments like 'oh if you were really going to do it you would've by now' etc instead of running to his side...he did it and he succeeded. But I do remember what our family doctor told my mother afterwards...'Suicide is a very selfish act, as you leave so many unanswered questions and everyone whose left has to pick up the pieces". Hope that doesn't come across 'catty'...just having my say and my vent whilst my DH snores next to me (As if I already don't get enough sleep...Puhlease!).

Jade, QLD, DS Sept 04, #2 due 06/08/07

Sign in to follow this topic