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Keeping FIL entertained Lock Rss

My FIL is going through another divorce. This is his 3rd since his first wife (and my hubby's mum) passed away 26 years ago. Proceedings have been going on now for just over a year in order for him to get his fair share of money, etc which have finally been completed. So now in a few weeks he will be here, visiting us for 2 weeks, without any means of getting around except in our car.
So whats my problem?
He has a total lack of conversation! He rings up on average 3 times a week and all he talks about is the same 4 things that he does each and every day! He is very 'me' orientated. He will ask how Gemma is going, then not even wait for me to finish answering before he goes into what he has been doing.
Last time he visited for a 2 week stint he sat around the house reading book after book on the lounge. Just laying there. Not once did he offer to cook tea, wash the dishes, take the dog for a walk etc. Just sat there. He has visited 2 more times since then but only for a few days and Hubby was on days off, so they went out and played golf and fishing and went to the pub.
I took him to the shops, where he insisted on pushing the pram. He stopped in an aisle, left the pram, walking a bit further down the aisle and then went into the next one before realising he had just left the pram. Pushing the pram in the street was another problem as he would go to the edge of the footpath, with the pram out on the road! I stopped that by saying I felt naked without the pram in my hands!
He doesn't seem interested in going on any tours that are held in the town. We live in a mining town - iron ore, salt and gas and he doesn't want to see how they work, even though his son works for one of them! He isn't that keen on going fishing, just went last time cause hubby wanted to go!
Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get rid of him for at least half a day while hubby is at work to keep my sanity? Apart from me leaving the house and taking refuge at one of my friends house? I do not trust him alone with Gemma. I know nothing would happen, but if it did I dont know how he would handle the situation!
Anyway, apart from that, he is a nice FIL. He has alway complimented on the way we have brought up our daughter and not once criticised anything that we have done, he is just so god damn boring!
Sorry for my ramblings, just any ideas to entertain him other than leaving him at the library all day would be good!

DD1 July 2004 DD2 August 2007 DS September 2009

Hey, sounds annoying! is hard to figure out how to entertain people who aren't interested in anything.
Your library idea is not as silly as it sounds if he is really into reading he would probably like it, I know for people that are not into reading you probably couldn't think of anything worse but for us readers, Heaven, also you could send him off to some second hand book stores, I can get lost in them for ages! Another idea maybe the museum or botanical gardens he might like to go and have a look around or do you trust him to take your daughter for a walk ( you could always follow! )
Can't think of much else, is he into movies or something like that you could send him to the pictures of get him some dvd's.
Can't help you with the around the house stuff, he is probably set in his ways and won't change but you know what men are like they don't see what needs to be done or what you need help with so you have to ask! just say something like you know what would be really great if you could just help me out and do...................
Hope I have helped out abit.

mum to two gorgeous guys

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