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What would you rate your marriage? Lock Rss

I have been married to my DH for 4 years and have a 2.5 year old beautiful DD together. However, I am not happy in this marriage, I have this feeling for a long time. We argue all the time and have fights so often. A few weeks ago he even holds a knife against me and told me to get out of the house by foot! He is very easily to loose his temper and throws things, ie. fan, hairdryer, bowl, my DD's microphone etc, you name it. I said to him I can't stand his voilence anymore and am very scared of talking to him because I don't know when will he explore like a volcanoe without warning. Now my DD is the only reason I am staying in this marriage. I don't know what to do, does anyone in this similar situation?

If I have to rate this marriage from 1 to 10, whereas 1 being very unhappy and 10 being very happy. I would rate mine as 1. What about yours?

Lucy, mum to Stephanie-12/11/03

Hi Lucy, If you are in fear for your safety or bubs then GET OUT NOW.
If you have a look in the front of your white pages there are the listings for different support lines.
Have a chat to a proffesional and find out what your options are.
Hope you can do what is best for you and bub.


Hi Lucy,

As I read your email is was like I had written it myself only my husband has never held a knife to me. He has been violent and emotionally abusive.

I have been with him for 9 years married for 3 years. We have two children together and I always felt the same, I will stay for the children and because this is where I am meant to be. I wasn't happy for a few years.

Let me give you a short version of where I am at now and believe me you want to do something before you get there yourself. I HAD a really good male friend for the past 2 years that has been a great support for me and made me feel good about myself. That I am worth more than I thought. Unfortunately we started seeing each other as a relationship (not sexual) the past 9 weeks and when I told my husband I had feelings for the other person (not to hurt him but because I thought he deserved to know). Anyway the other guy denied anything and said it was all me taking advantage of him and it got nasty. This happened Friday 2 weeks ago and since them I have not seen nor heard from him.

This gutted me to think a friend could turn on me like this to save his marriage. I am trying to take each day as it comes and although my husband and I are separated we remain friends for our childrens sake.

What I am saying to you is.... although you may still love your husband it isn't worth it to stay just for the hell of it. You need to take a break and then decide what you want. If he won't leave the house have you got anywhere you could go with your daughter?

Please do this for yourself and your child to be safe. Don't fall into a hole like I have just done as it isn't pretty believe me. You certainly also find out who really cares about you.

Take care

Lifes full of challenges

I suggest you leave your husband if not for your sake than that of your child. Your DD should be the reason you LEAVE this marriage not STAY.

I am sorry for being so blunt but to tell you the truth I have read through so many posts of mums with the most horrid, unworthy partners. I am sick of being polite and telling them to listen to their hearts blah blah blah.

He held a knife to you, what next???
How can it be your fault if it is him losing his temper? I dont care what you do, its him losing his temper. And on top of that you cant be a good dad if your not first a good husband... please please get out of there. Its not about happy anymore, its about safe!

3 under 3- 15 month gaps. Busy but loving it eìí?

This topic has been edited by the moderator, unfortunately it has affected some of the more recent posts that have been posted to the thread.

Apologies if this has caused any inconvenience.

Kind regards
if your not happy why are you with him there is a guy out there that you can behappy and safe with so can your dd one day u or your dd will get badly hurt by him get out of there now and make a life with you and your dd

mummy 4 joshie loc mol mag Char Tess

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