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  5. cant call husband "darling or honey" is that not normal?

cant call husband "darling or honey" is that not normal? Lock Rss

I have never been able to call my husband of 4 years any affectionate names. I call my chidren darling and sweethart, but cant realate this to my husband.
He is quite a serious person anyway but also can be very funny.
I do love him and feel we our soul mates in many ways but I dont think of him as particularly wonderful or amazing.
He is a good solid person with good manners and morals and is handsome to look at too.
He doesnt call me darling or honey either. All my friends call their partners pet names.
Our sex life is once a fortnight and there is mininmal affection on a daily basis.
The odd kiss here and there when he gets home from work.
He never tells me i look nice or pretty. I think my girlfriends would tell me this more!! And believe me I love to get compliments!

We get on as friends very well.

But its the fact there is nothing to call him darling or honey about apart from the fact we get on well and he puts a roof over my head. This is becoming a bit of a dry existence. Money is an issue most of the time so thats not fun ,so I cant fill the void with shopping haha!

What do you guys think??

JZ mum to Bradley 17/08/03 and Heidi 25/02/06

Hey JZ,
I dont think that not having those pet names for each other is a bad sign, we all r different. Although u say u love him it sounds as though u r hinting towards a friendship kind of love. I think u need to talk to ur hubby and tell him wat is troubling u. We all like to feel like we r loved and look nice and i dont think that a bit of affection is too much for ask for. Being content happy and truely happy are two different things and we all deserve to b truely happy

Baby Kaleb 1 years old

Hi Jz,

Every couple is different, some couples have all sorts of sickening nicknames for each other, and for others the idea of a petname never crosses their minds. We know a woman who calls her new husband by the same nickname his rugby mates use - and it's a shortened version of his surname! That seems too matey for my tastes, but if it suits them, that's cool!

It sounds like the two of you have a loving and respectful relationship, but I think you could do with some romancing girl! You need to talk to your husband about making an effort to make each other feel more loved and special - don't put responsibility for the situation solely on him - if he's like most blokes he probably has no idea there's an issue!

That being said, he'd probably love a bit more romantic attention from you too. And I don't just mean sex! A lot of the things we do in relationships are habits that have formed by accident, and making little changes can have a big effect. If you'd like more compliments and physical affection from hubby, then try giving him some compliments and a few extra cuddles, and see what happens! If you make him feel special, a light might go on in his head and he might think "Hello - this is nice - maybe I should pay some special attention to my lovely wife in return!"

Having kids is soooooo hard on a relationship, and I found that in the early days with our DD my hubby and I had to slip into a maximum-efficiency workmate style system just to get through the days - there wasn't time or energy for cuddles and kisses and sweet nothings. And I think as mums we get lots of cuddles and affection from our bubs during the day (on a good day anyway!), and we forget that hubby is coming home from a job where he (hopefully!) hasn't been cuddled or kissed, so his affection quota hasn't been filled, while ours has. I find my hubby will be much more friendly and good-natured if I give him a cuddle and kiss when he comes in the door, before I assign him a job to do! tongue

So many mums on here quote good old Dr Phil, so why should I be the exception? He says that you should be the kind of partner you want to have - so to change their behaviour, the best place to start is to tweak your behaviour.

It really does sound like you have a very loving relationship, and I think if you both make the effort to romance each other a bit and remember what got the two of you together in the first place, you might find you've got it all! Good luck. smile

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