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So Sad, what should i do? Rss

Hi All
I'm a mum of two daughters a 5y/o and a 6y/o from a previous relationship and a brand new baby well he's three weeks old to my partner of a year its his first.
My troubles are that my partner thought the world of my two older girls and now he can't stand them they just don't listen to him and they have no respect for him either this cause's me to stress at the girls and it hurts him this has has made us talk seriously about spliting up i really love my partner alot he is a great person and he does love my girls but things just aren't going good in our house i need some advice before its to late.
His coming home today to tell me weather or not his going to live with us anymore.

Bron S.A DD6 DD5,DS 2MONTHS!!

Hi Mumbron
This must be an incredibly difficult time for you. Can I suggest that before you and your partner decide anything that you seek some professional counselling (relationships), as you have a lot of changes going on in your life which can really affect you and your partner's short term perspective on things.

I am married to a man who has three daughters from his first relationship, and when our little girl came along, whilst it wasn't as bad as "couldn't stand them", I certainly struggled to focus on them and show them the same amount of care and attention as I had previously. THis can be a really stressful feeling, particularly if the girls are misbehaving as well, sort of a combination of guilt, resentment and anxiety about what is happening - perhaps your partner is feeling that way.

The girls might be feeling jealous or anxious about losing both you and your partner's love and attention, causing them to misbehave more than usual. Can you implement something like a points system for good behaviour, star charts etc? For my 4 year old started to back chat and speak rudely following starting at kindy, so one day we sat down together and made a "rules book" - we picked 5 "big rules" like "No hitting" "Speak nicely to people" "Pack up after eating and playing" etc etc and she drew pictures for the book, and then we read it say 2 -3 times a week before bed and I give her examples of how she has "stuck to the rules" during the week, and I have to say, it really worked for us.

Sorry for the long post, I just really feel for you, as blending families can be as challenging as it is rewarding, and I really hope things can work out for your family.

Qld, 14,12,10, 5 yr old girls, and baby boy!

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