Oh I fit right in here!!!!!!
I was 19 when I got pregnant, not planned, with first (am now 12 weeks prgnant, also not planned) bub. As soon as we told his parents they tried to talk us out of it. He was ok with it, took a bit of getting used to and a lot of yes we have the baby, then no don't have the baby... but he had finally made up his mind and said yes i want this baby. We spoke to his parents and they basically talked him out of it, saying we were too young etc... I wouldn't back down and said if he comes to me and says he wants me to terminate then i would, but it had to come from him. they didn't like that. Now that we are parents things are only getting worse.
We found out in March that our son has a nut allergy and it was only two months ago that we found out how severe (anaphylactic) and I have the same reaction to anything to do with fish and seafood but I know they don't believe that my allergy is that severe. Bub is also allergic to eggs, and one night (before we had him tested) we spent half the night at the hospital because of an allergy reaction to eggs and the next day I had to work so my MIL had bub knowing about the allergy, and went out for coffee and got a custard tart. He was not allowed the pastry because of the egg in pastry but he had the custard!!!!! Needless to say he had a minor reaction that night. They know bub is allergic to nuts, mostly peanuts, yet they keep a bowl of nuts on the bench to snack on as they walk past. We had to basically threaten them with get rid of the nuts or bub doesn't come here again. My fiancee is a diabetic as is his mum (my MIL) so I get frowned upon for giving bub the occasional sweet thing, yet if he is with her for an afternoon he eats basically nothing but fruit....no wonder he has the runs when he gets home. No matter how many times I very politely try to talk to them about this, they don't listen. SO FRUSTRATING. She had bub a few weeks ago and was taking him back to their place when she ran up the bum of another car, granted I had no way of getting to the crash, but I had to find out from my other half that there had been an accident and that it was because bub had pulled his arms out of his car seat and tried to open the door (this is what he was told from his dad). Needless to say I was furious. How dare FIL blame bub for the crash. He always takes his arms out of the seat, and we are trying desperately to make him stop, but they should have had the child lock on the car, or all the doors locked (like we do when we have him in the car)....When they all came back to our place FIL is very lucky someone changed the topic or I would have told him exactly what I think of him. and then they came over the other day to pick bub up (they take him one arvo a week) and bub was playing outside, so rather than come inside like most polite poeple do, FIL picked up bub, took him to the car and then came inside to get his bag. I had a bit of a dig at him and said I wanted to say goodbye to bub but was told oh you still can, it's just this car is a bit more arkward to get him into (being a 2 door car that he has never been in before). Bub was screaming and holding his arms out for me, so I took him, everyone came inside and talked for a few minutes then he was good to get back into the car. They then had the nerve to blame it on the car being that bub had never been in it before. When we went to pick bub up from their place that night they said the exact same thing, and I said no, FIL can't just take a child from his own backyard, even if it is his grandson, he has no right. they didn't appreciate that comment.
I know they are good people, I just want them to understand that these are the choices we have made for our son and they need to respct that. I also want them to realise that as bub's parents, we have the final say and they need to listen to that, not talk over us as they do at the moment. They are the sort of people who you can tell the same thing to over and over and they hear what they want to hear!!!!!!!!!!!!
so yeah I guess to some extent, i feel your pain!!!!
** RIP...Ash 27/6/1985 - 17/10/2009 **