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Dad's and the birth! Lock Rss

Hello to all the Dads and Dads-to-be!!!

I hope you are all well and your partners and kids aren't driving you too far up the wall!! We women can get pretty emotional!! LOL, sorry about that!

I was just wondering how you all felt about going into the room to be with your partner while she was giving birth. My DH isn't too sure about whether he wants to be there and I accept that, its totally his decision and I don't want to force him in there, but I just wanted to know if any of you didn't go in an regretted it, or vise versa!! And whether you might have a story or two that I can show to my DH so he knows its not scary, and show him how helpful he can be!!!

It's our first baby and we are a young couple, 20 and 24 and he has neices and nephews but the whole pregnancy, birth and what to do is a bit daunting for him as he has never been close to a person who was having kids..

I hope that all makes sense!! It would be wonderful to hear from some of you, just to give him another perspective, aside from my Dad, who will just laugh and tell him how much I'm going to swear at him!!!

Thanks very much, I hope your enjoying the forum!
Okay - firstly I am a Mum (not a dad) but I think I can safely speak on behalf of my hubby on this topic. After reading a newspaper article a couple of weeks ago about a "study" done in Britain that claimed that "most" women didn't want their men to go into the labour room with them (it turned out the 'most' they were talking about was like 37% - hardly most by my books but maybe my maths is bad?). Anyway, my husband said he was glad to be in there with me (and I was glad he was there too). He says he wouldn't have missed it for the world. Hubby is a great dad and I think him being there and seeing our son as he entered the world was one of the happiest moments of his life. He will definitely be back in the room with me when the next one comes along (all going well......)

James' Mum

Sorry but another female responding here. My hubby was adamant that he wanted tro be in the delivery room but as scared as can be. His last expereince with babies and birth was in high school and they showed "the video of birth" at which time he was sick and passed out. We made a deal that he could leave if he wanted to and that he would focus on me, not the "business end" as he calls it. He even cut the cord without having to look at "anything". He now says that it was a great experience.
My husband would not have missed it at all. He will openly say it was the best thing in his life to witness his daughter coming into the world.

I delivered in a private hospital and was my first bub so dont know how much is common practice but after bubs head and shoulders were out my obstitrician looked at my husband, guided and told him how to to pull her out. He did as he was told and technically delivered her (i think we should have got a refund of the obstitrician fees.. LOL) they then gave him the little clamp to put on her cord and he cut the cord also. It was all done with the obstitrician close by and was really special for him and he tells people he delivered her!!
I think that it was great for him to have the close involvement as I was the one to carry her for 9 mths and all he could do is sit by and wait for the big day!!

Depending on how comfortable he is you may be able to discuss something like this with your doc.

If he isnt very comfortable to watch the actual birth he can always stay up near your head and leave if he feels he needs to. Just make sure you have someone close with you as it isnt the most glamourous experience... lol
another mum,

my partner was there for the birth of our first child and would not have missed it for anything. it was a 24hr labour and the hardest bit was all through the nite. he was getting tired but once he could see the head he was basically hysterical and telling me to push. he said to me afterwards that he thought he would stay at the top of the bed but ended up looking and helping the midwife with the labour. he said it was an unreal experience and ended up cutting the cord and said it was like cutting calamari. he has even recommended to his friends that if they have children to be in the room. it was perfect that he was there as a fantastic support person. even he had tears of joy.

if i was him i would be in there otherwise he would probably regret it. he may not be able to get rid of the pain but he will give more support than what he
thinks.

so here is a message for your partner and any other dads who arent sure - GET IN THERE AND SUPPORT YOUR WOMAN ITS THE BEST EXPERIENCE IN THE WORLD AND IF YOU DONT YOU WILL REGRET IT. THE CHILD IS YOUR FIRST AND LABOUR IS WHEN YOUR WOMAN NEEDS THE MOST SUPPORT. if my partner wasnt in there i would have been disappointed.

i was called ballo!

Hey

Well obviously i'm a mum and not a dad but I think that i have a story that might interest you.

I am a single mother and the father is not at all in the picture ( thankfully ). Anyway. My best friend that happpens to be male was there for me throughout the whole pregnancy, he came with me to my ultrasounds and all of my checkups. I didn't particuarly want anyone in the room, I was happy to do it by myself and he DEMANDED that he was to be there. He was 21 and I was 19. HE also had the vidoe camera and wanted to tape it, the whole thing, which i flat out refused lol. The funny thing was that while i was in labour and it was getting very intense he started to get scared because he didn't know what on earth to do so he rang his mum and she ended up being there as well lol.My mum was at work hours away and couldn't get up and at that stage i was starting to need someone that had been through it. Anyway so his mum was my suppurt person and he taped things, none of the actual birth.

When I actually delivered the cord was around my daughters neck twice and it had been missed by the midwife because it was incrediable tight. I was on all fours and couldn't see a thing, her shoulders were alreay out and all of a sudden everyone was screaming at me to stop pushing which I did but i could still feel her moving ( once her shoulders were out there was no stopping her lol ) anyway I was in absolute terror as i had no idea what was going on. His mum told me what was going on and he oversaw the midwives lol. Because the cord was around her neck I was not allowed to hold her until they knew she was okay. By the time this was going on i was getting stitches and he was the first person to ever hold her, she cried and came over to me and said 'she is the most amazing thing you have ever done' I will never forget what he said to me and they have a bond like a father and daughter.

It was scary for him, but it is scary for everyone, just because he is in the room it doesn't mean that he actually has to look down there.

Hope I have helped

Tiddles, Vic, 3/1/2006 dd

Well I am a mum and I can say for my partner that he love every minute of the birth and seeing our daughter coming into the world and when they put her on my chest my partner begining to cry with joy and he was over the moon to have a baby girl and he couldnt wait to til everyone and our labour was fast and soon as we got to the hospital Jaye was out and that was within 10 minute after getting to the hospital.

Tracey,Jaye (girl)12/06/05, Sam (boy)10/07/09

My DP HATED the whole birth giving process!!!

He was great and stayed almost all 14 hours (he had to duck out and pay the mortgage! that's why the almost:o)

He hated seeing me in pain, he couldn't understand why they just watch when the babies heart rate drops, he wanted them to help me with pain relief the moment I asked. If it was his decision I would've had a c-section after around 5 or 6 hours of labour. He just couldn't cope.

Our 2nd son is due early february, our 1st son will be just over 12 months. We have decided that my Mum will support me during labour and DP will stay home with our little boy. With me not there I think they'll need each other.
Another mum...

This may gross you out...

My DH is a big kid and very excitable person...
When I was in labour the midwife asked me if i wanted to look at the bub's head in a mirror, I refused after remembering flashes of the video they showed us a birth classes. My DH very enthusiasticly said yes (now you should know, my DH went through a stage where he didn't want kids because he was scared he was going to pass on the baldness gene, he's not bald, but his hair has thinned), when the midwife opened (you know) and my DH saw the top of our DS head he actually started jumping up down shouting loudly "he's got hair! He's got hair!". Before going in our friend ( a father of 3 had told him to stay near my head and not go down there! However,when it came time to push...you guessed it DH was not near my head but down the other end holding my leg high up in the air watching me in all my glory as our son was born! He has absolutely no regrets and has insisted on 'helping' again the next time round.

Jade, QLD, DS Sept 04, #2 due 06/08/07

Yep ! Another mum here ........ my partner was so excited about the pending birth as we were going for a natural birth and his 2 kids from a previous marriage were ces. It was a totally new experience for him and even asked to deliver the baby ! He did deliver bub and cut the cord and held bub when he was about 5 mins old ............ the whole natural birthing experience wore him out and he a new bub slept in the birthing room for a couple of hours cuddled up together ! And speaking on his behalf - YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT FOR ANYTHING ! ( We used a mirror so I could enjoy the grand entry too - HE wanted to film it ..... but we didn't - no way ? )

when Heaven said there were boys ... I asked for 2

Hi

Another mum here smile My DH and I felt the same way you do leading up to the birth, we talked about it alot and decided we'd play it by ear and see how we went. I didnt want him to feel pressure (cause its the done thing these days) to be there and at the same time I wasnt sure I wanted him in there.

The day came and he ended up staying with me for the duration and we are both so glad he did. Its not like we made a conscious decision once we got to the hospital - it just unfolded and once things were going there was no question of him leaving. It was the most special moment of our lives so far, DH cried when Ava was born and was so proud of me - makes me all teary just thinking about it smile

So this time around there's no question, he'll be there but I can understand where you are both coming from so my only suggestion would be keep your options open and see how you feel when the time comes.
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