Huggies Forum

Am I selfish????????? Rss

Posted by: ·Tam·
Tannie

I think the issues it mother who put their kids in care for a break..

not people who need to put their kids in care to work.



Your right Tam, there is a differece in having a break though and putting a child into care for no other reason than to flit around having your nails done and going to the movies

I think that would have to be on of the stupidist reasons to put a child in care I have ever heard of

Posted by: LockysMum
Posted by: ·Tam·
Tannie

I think the issues it mother who put their kids in care for a break..

not people who need to put their kids in care to work.



Your right Tam, there is a differece in having a break though and putting a child into care for no other reason than to flit around having your nails done and going to the movies

I think that would have to be on of the stupidist reasons to put a child in care I have ever heard of


Totally agree. Because I am sure her DH doesnt work 7 days a week (or if he does it wouldn't be every week) and last time I checked movies were also on at night! LOL
Whats the movies LOL

My DP works two jobs, seven days a week most weeks and his main job is shift work so he will leave at 6am and get home around 6pm or leave around 11-12 and get home around 12-1, His second job is irregular hours

I have no desire to put Locky in day care and will not I used to work in day care and I couldnt do it

Edited to Add

I think an older child is fine going one or two days for social interaction as they are more able to care for them selves where as a baby in a baby room has to compete for the care of 2 workers between themselves and 6 or more other babies, think if you were at home and had 6 babies to feed change and do everything with how would you give them all the care they needed by yourself you couldnt do it
[Edited on 25/06/2008]

You know what i think is funny, if the OP had have said that she was stressed, not coping, over tired , had a child with needs this thread's responses would have been much, much different lol

But she didnt,
I havnt read alot of the responces and I am not going to to be quite frank !!

I think that putting a child into daycare is a decision you make for the child ..not to make it easier for the parent !!!


I sometimes have a day where I think I want and need to have a day at home on my own ...Luke gos to daycare and I call in sick ...
do I feel bad ??...... nope
do I feel guilty adn selfish ???.....nope !! it is a one off thing and I am a better perosn for it ..Luke loves going and the ladies there treat him like their own !! ...

if I have any appointments I have them on a Monday and Friday when I am not at work and we go shopping on a Saturday Morning as a family then it is off to the park for the arvo !!

I feel sometimes people make parenting much harder than it really is ....I did when Luke was young ..I was scared to go out with him and things !!

if you want to see a movie ...ring the cinemas and ask them when the parents screenings are ...they have lots of kids runing round so the dont disturb those who are childless !! ...they are special screenings and they have snacks on the floor int he front and they turn the sond down a little .....they are heaps of fun adn you can meet some other mothers aswell !!

have you looked into occasional care ...maybe a morning a week to read a book adn catch up on a few things might be all you need !!

as for leaving day care fro working parents ....we all go on that being a stay at home mum is a job ...if you have a job you get that 5 min to your self on the drive home and if your working you get that half an hour to have your sandwich at lunch time ..when you stay at home you don t get that ...so I think that a break every now and then is more then acceptable ...some just dont cpe as well as others do !! that is a fact !! that is why I think the ocasional care would be a better option ...
I read the first page and thats about it!

Nope, i dont think you are selfish. I think 8 months may be a little young for daycare. You'll never get these moments back with your baby so really its your decision but i couldnt think of putting my bub in there yet!

Cohen is nearly 2 and has been going one day a week since 18 months old. I work monday-friday so i put him in for the child interaction and to give my in-laws a break from looking after him. Once i finish work (as you can see wont be long hehe) he will still be in one day a week! I will use that day to do food shopping, pay bills etc things i would struggle with if i were to take a newborn and a toddler.

Plus he loves daycare. It's done him the world of good. So i guess i'll be in the 'selfish' catergory too once i finish work and leave him in one day a week.
Franny why do you always manage to find the words I have been trying to say !!LOL!!

Posted by: Lukes*mum

as for leaving day care fro working parents ....we all go on that being a stay at home mum is a job ...if you have a job you get that 5 min to your self on the drive home and if your working you get that half an hour to have your sandwich at lunch time ..when you stay at home you don t get that ...so I think that a break every now and then is more then acceptable ...some just dont cpe as well as others do !! that is a fact !! that is why I think the ocasional care would be a better option ...


Sorry I had to laugh at this comment about lunch, I guess in a paid job you would be getting your co workers and emloyer watching you eat your lunch going whats that can I have it?
Or sittingon the toilet floor goin Poos or Wees?? Can I look!!LOL!!
I think the reasons you gave are selfish.. Getting nails done, going to the movies, etc are luxuries that ALOT of new mothers just don't get! But we wait it out, rather than offloading our children into daycare. I understand where Denae is coming from, using her time wisely to pay bills, and do groceries though.
yes i think putting your child into care just so you can get your nails done and go to the movies is selfish. Why can't you rent a movie and watch it at night while your kids are asleep? In my opinion 8months is too young to put a child in daycare just because you need a break.
There is no way i would've been able to put ds in care when he was that young. You never get those moments back, I would hate to miss my own childs first steps etc. how sad

I put ds in daycare when he was 16months old for 2 afternoons a week which turned out to be 6hrs a week BECAUSE I was doing a distance study course (still am) and also because I felt he needed the interaction. He is 2 next month and such a social little boy and he loves going to daycare he now goes 3 mornings(3hrs) a week and 2 full days (6hrs) so 21hrs a week in total. I use this time to study, do the groceries, clean the house etc. I never sleep because I can't, I feel guilty doing NOTHING while he is at care.

I am sure there are ways of getting around doing the things you want to do. When ds was little and I wanted to get a hair cut, my brother or friend would take him to the park down the road for 15min while I got my hair cut. I just couldn't be without out him. Even now I miss him when he is at care for a full day but I know he is well looked after and enjoying himself and I am sutdying.
OK after sleeping on this topic,

have to thought of family day care,
there are other mums and ladys out there that have home day care, and thay are trained people that can look after you children,

so it doesnt matter if the chidcare places are for working mums or what ever as you work with one family or person and you can work out days weather it once a month or once a week,

as for you hubby working,

i know it can be hard as dan can do 17 hours in one day at time and allso 7 days a week,

how he does this is its a family bisness and they only have 5 people and if theres work its gotta get done!!!

so yeah sometimes it can be hard to do things i know that shopping can be hard, jazz has her days when she wont stop crying as she has to be in the pusher, but you still got to go and pay the bills get food you can only stay home for so long and when the cubbords are dry to have to go,

i hope that the op, gets some time off,
if the can affored for mum to have a few hours break WHY NOT,

i know that there are a lot of mums out there i know i wouldnt take jazz to a childcare as i have worked in one before and yes there are a lot of kids and i would like it if jazz could tell me how her day is,

a happy mum is better then a stressed mum and some wemon can find things tuff at the best of times,

so in the end do what you think is best, i dont think a few hours here or there would hurt,

i would love to have a hot shower drink a hot coffee, even get my hair cut, (i have a home hair dresser)

even get into stuff and give it a good clean with out haveing to stop and start every five min,

so heres a hug!!!!!!
smile i think this is a topic that each to there own,
it has mixed opions and you wont get a propper answer, as there really isnt a right or wrong answer,

that is all!
Hi there,

Just to let you know we have moved this thread, so discussion can continue in a more specific forum.

We also have some information on childcare options, which may be helpful as well.

Cheers <span class="emoticon smile">smile</span>]
[Edited on 25/06/2008]
Once again it's just become a battle of who's the best mother doing it the toughest!

"Oh my husband is with the army and he lives overseas 354 days of the year. I work three jobs, don't have a life, don't know what the movies are, look like an old scrag because i never brush my hair. But i don't put my son in daycare. No sir-ee. I am the best mother in the world and don't need any 'me' time!"

Wake up to yourselves. This is the bull**** i am so over.


WELCOME BACK STEPH

I dont my any stretch think that I am the best mother in the world, I just organise my "me" time around my son, I brush my hair LOL I hope to god I dont look like and old scrag. Everyone needs thier own time but to put your child in care specifically for the reasons the OP has stated in selfish, her child is 8 months old and does not have the understanding of why she is being left with strangers.

My DF works his ass off so that I can stay home with my son so if I was to put him in care then yes I would be a selfish cow

Her comments as well about there being no waiting lists in Canberra are total CRAP,
I live in Canberaa, one of my close friends has a bub who is 20 months old her husband is very very unwell and not able to work he is also not able to stay home and look after their child in his condition, she needs to go back to work, she can not get a day care place in Canberra so she can return to work,

she had their child in one day a week on the day she was working so she knows the mums that come to the centre and alot of them are stay at home mums who dump their kids in care 4 or 5 days a week just becuase they can, she has tried many many centres but cannot get a place

This is the type of thing that plsses me off no end. Places at a day care centre should not be taken up by someone who is not working and is more than able to take care of their child


Posted by: Stephanea
And good on the OP for wanting some time to feel like a WOMAN!! Instead of everyones rag doll. All the power to you love!

If you all stop to think, obviously this woman isn't wanting to put her child in daycare solely so she can get her nails done or go to the movies. They are EXAMPLES of things she could get done with her 'me' time. Jebus. Get off your high horses.




As for the not beng everyones RAG DOLL and wanting to feel like a woman, if she wanted to go and do these things then maybe she should have thought of that before she had children, being a mum is looking after your children not palming them off to others so you can flit about, I understand that these are the only reasons she has given and we do not know the full story but if she really had other reasons then she would have said them in her replys

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