I left my ex in July after almost 4 years together, almost 3 years married. I've been crying nearly every day since, lol, not realising how hard things are on your own.
My ex depleted all the self-confidence I had so up until now, I've been feeling like Ive ruined Henrys life, my own life and my ex's life.... but I realised that was him doing that. He was telling me all these things and he was still controlling me in every way but making me believe that I was still worthless.
It was a good slap across the face from mum telling me to stop being so F&^#ing stupid and realise what an amazing person I was that made me realise what he was doing to me.
It's so hard being on my own. I feel like I am imposing on poeple when we visit or when I ask my sister to have Henry. When I left my ex, we stayed with my sister while I worked and I think we overstepped our welcome for a while there.
And as for trying to meet new people, HAHAHAHAHA That's a fantasy I seem to have running thru my head. I know it'll get easier once we get organised but right now, its really hard!!!
I work in Aged Care, there are no open spots in the daycare I need Henry to be in so right now, I get to sit at home every day, except today, (Henry goes to daycare 4 days a week and I don't want to give up those spots because I wont get them back) on my own and clean (not thats there is much, only a small unit) and apply for normal 9-5 jobs...
You would think centrelink would be doing everything they could to get me off my single parent benefits and into a job I can do, but they;re not....I dont need to go back to work til Henrys 7.... thats fine if thats what you wanna do, but you'd think that if single parents WANT to work, someone would help to get you back to work!!!
ANyways, I'll stop ranting.... lol.
Thanks for reading, Liz xoxox
Liz, 28, DF, 29. Henry- 18/10/2006, Faith 5/6/2013, Peanut being induced 21/10/2014.