Is having only one child a bad thing??

hi there. im a mum of a 22 month old boy and im not really sure if i want to have any more. just wanting some thoughts and advice from mums and dads with only children and is it really that bad for them to grow up without siblings?? everyone ive spoken to thinks im mad to only want one! thanks xx
[Edited on 17/04/2009]
[Edited on 04/09/2009]
[Edited on 04/09/2009]
[Edited on 04/09/2009]

Hi MumtoJett

I have made the decision that Erynn will be an only child. Kids were never on the agenda for me and I have been blessed with her but dont want anymore.

I think that as long as you encourage Jett to spend time with others and encourage his friendships then he will be fine.

Kim

I don't think having one child is a bad thing at all!

I have 2 older siblings but there is a very large age gap and I grew up virtually as an only child. My brother and sister grew up with my Father and I was with mum. So, they were never around and I saw them more as an aunt and uncle than siblings.

Anyway, I enjoyed being an "only" child BUT, there were a few things my Mum did that made it hard for me.

1) My friendships weren't encouraged. She wanted me to be home with her and wrap me up in cotton wool.

2) A lot of pressure was put on me to excel at everything.

It's often harder to parent one child than it is 2 or more. You're their ONLY immediate influence and, you need to be able to let them become independent and find outside influences more readily. AND, it can be hard for parents of only children not to spoil them too much.

If you can do that; you're child will have an amazing childhood:) There's nothing to feel guilty about and you aren't depriving your child of anything:)

hi,

OUr DD is 3.5 years old and I am not sure if I would like to have another one or not. I hate getting asked about it and being made to feel that it is such a bad thing that she does not have a baby brother or sister as yet. Who are they to judge or to pass comment as they don't know my situation in the slightest and it is not any of their business.

If you feel that you aren't ok in having another one, then don't. It isn't that bad being an only child provided that you interact with others.

Hi there!

It is definately a personal choice - i think there are pros and cons to having one child or a few children. As long as they are loved and taught right from wrong all should work out fine. A few of my friends are only children and they are fine.

Plus you never know over time you might change your mind. Three of my friends are pregnant now and there eldests are 4 - 5.

Goodluck x

its a personal decision to have an only child. i', glad i have 2 boys as they can play with each other and keep each other occupied while i'm busy.

i think as long as they get a chance to socialise with other kids there are no problems with having only 1 child.

hi
im in the same boat.
my daughter is 16 months old and i am feeling pressure from all angles to have another child. everyone asks me when the next one is coming and when i say maybe never, i get looks like i am the worst mother in the world for not wanting to give my daughter a sibling.

i havent totally discounted the idea but i dont feel the urge to have more that so many others i know have. i almost feel like there is something wrong with me because i dont feel this need to have more kids.

i love my daughter. i feel like my life is complete with just her. I dont know if i could love another child as much as i love her and i dont know if i could cope with more than one child.
i have many reasons, some personal, but at the end of the day, im in the same dilemma.

I would love to have another child but I do feel that Merinda will be my one and only. Friends keep saying dont be silly you will meet a guy and have a baby. However Im 29 (shortly) and always thought I would have at least 2-3 children by this age. So over people asking whens the next one coming along? Huh? Im single!

my best friend is an only child and she loved it she got all the attention(still loves being the center of attention lol)never wanted for anything and travelled around the world before she was 16 cause her parents had more money to spend on her. the only thing she hated was that when anything happened to her mum and dad or anything like that she never had anyone that was right there and understood what she was going through like a sibling would. hope this helps.

It goes both ways....
My DH is an only child but I'm from a large family (6 of us kids all up).
It depends on how you approach it all. As having a big family Vs an only child depends on how they are raised.

My nephew is a spoilt little brat. He gets picked on by everyone as he is in this constant "mine" saga. But a friends DD is really great as she was well socialised from early on and has learn to share etc.

As said before as long as they have someone close whether a cousin or BFF then they won't feel lonely etc. Sometimes they need a confidante other than their parents. Especially once they hit teenage years!

It's up to you really. I had 2 as I didn't want an only child nor did my DH but I'm not going back for more. REally it depends on how you raise them!!

PS don't treat them like adults too young. Thats the prob with my nephew!!

Hi all. Thanks for the comments.

Im really in 2 minds about the whole thing. Sometimes I feel clucky for another then i think about my terrible pregnancy and birth and cant bare the thought of going through it again. Every pregnancy is different I know but I got post natal depression after it all and was in a really BAD place for a long time. I still wake in the night thinking about it. Not to mention my son was born with a cleft lip/palate and has been through alot too, including 2 operations with more to come, and theres the risk of having another cleft baby. We have done the genetic councelling and all that, but i still dont know.

Before it all I wanted 2 kids, maybe even 3. Now I dont know.

My niece is an only child and she is almost 11 now. She has only mentioned having a brother or sister a few times but shes had a good life, shes spoilt rotten! But shes a good kid.

Just soooo confused.

hi again, just found out our bub could have a chromosome disorder and thats what has caused his clefting and a few other signs he has. so if it turns out that he has this, its going to make my decision even easier to only want one child as it may happen again.

unfortunatly we have to wait 6 months (who knows why) for the test results, so it will be a long wait.

but im still only wanting one anyway. we'll see.