Have to have a vent

Gosh I have got to share this!

A friend and I went to the community health clinic for our bubs 6mth needles. Our bubs were born 4 days apart so we end up doing lots of that stuff together.

After both bubs have been jabbed and we are trying to settle them the nurse asks us how old we are and we said we are 21 and 22. WELL she starts rabbiting on about how great it is we have each other because young mums have such a hard time and we need all the help we can get. Then proceeded to tell us how wonderful a job we were doing considering all the challenges we face!

For god sake! ALL mums come up against alot of challenges. ALL mums need alot of support and need help at some stage. I wonder what she would have said if we told her we were both married? She seemed to assume we were single.

And what is it with people thinking young mums would be any different if they had become mothers later in life? I for one would parent my child the same way I do now if I had her at 35 or older.

ALL mums no matter what age seem to get judged and critisised so much these days. If they aren't too young they are too old, If they aren't too strict they are too light, if they aren't something they are something else.

And what makes it worse is we do it too each other as well! Oh, CC mums are being cruel; oh mums who cuddle their bub too sleep are weak. Oh, your bub isn't crawling you must be doing something wrong. I BF so you should try your hardest to.

LAY OFF PEOPLE!!!!!

Sorry for the rant guys but it's getting a bit nuts!

All mums are beautiful and try their hardest. With a few exceptions you mostly hear about in the news - lol.

ALL mums no matter what age seem to get judged and critisised so much these days. If they aren't too young they are too old, If they aren't too strict they are too light, if they aren't something they are something else.

LAY OFF PEOPLE!!!!!

Yep I understand..LOL
One thing I hate most is whenever I take my kids out (which isn't that often) to the shops..sometimes I get these looks from old people like im too young to have kids or something <img src='https://www.huggies.com.au/forum/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='<_<' />

Gosh I have got to share this!

A friend and I went to the community health clinic for our bubs 6mth needles. Our bubs were born 4 days apart so we end up doing lots of that stuff together.

After both bubs have been jabbed and we are trying to settle them the nurse asks us how old we are and we said we are 21 and 22. WELL she starts rabbiting on about how great it is we have each other because young mums have such a hard time and we need all the help we can get. Then proceeded to tell us how wonderful a job we were doing considering all the challenges we face!

For god sake! ALL mums come up against alot of challenges. ALL mums need alot of support and need help at some stage. I wonder what she would have said if we told her we were both married? She seemed to assume we were single.

And what is it with people thinking young mums would be any different if they had become mothers later in life? I for one would parent my child the same way I do now if I had her at 35 or older.

ALL mums no matter what age seem to get judged and critisised so much these days. If they aren't too young they are too old, If they aren't too strict they are too light, if they aren't something they are something else.

And what makes it worse is we do it too each other as well! Oh, CC mums are being cruel; oh mums who cuddle their bub too sleep are weak. Oh, your bub isn't crawling you must be doing something wrong. I BF so you should try your hardest to.

LAY OFF PEOPLE!!!!!

Sorry for the rant guys but it's getting a bit nuts!

All mums are beautiful and try their hardest. With a few exceptions you mostly hear about in the news - lol.

Very well said!!! I have ran out of those +1's lol
I was 21 when I had my first and I used to...actually still do get those looks of 'she's young'... I'm 25 next month. I love how people look at my left had, and I love making sure they can see my engagement ring. Yea we're not married yet, but we are very happy and are providing well for our children. I know I'd rather spend a few grand on my kids than a wedding lol.
I was speaking to my friend today, we had our 2nd bubs 6 weeks apart. She asked if I was still BF, and didn't judge me when I said I wasn't. I was just so happy to not get 'that look', made me feel so great.
Would be nice if we saw more positives than negatives, but I guess we just have to take the good opinions with the not so good ones, and take it with a grain of salt!

Well said.

Each child is different, each parent is different, even the advice of 'professionals' on the same topic is different.

Do what is right for your children as you/your partner (DH/DF etc) are the only ones who really know the dynamics. Similarities exist, but no two are exactly the same.

I am an over 30 first time mum.

i have to agree with baylia here.

i really don't think she said anything that bad. maybe you have previous bad experiences and are taking it out on this lady. or maybe you, yourself feel nervous and areunsure of things and are just having a go at her to feel better about things?

You said that you would parent the same way if you were 35 when you had kids, well, i'm sorry this just shows that you are indeed a lil naive. i would definately not have done things the same if i had my children at 21. You gain so much expereince along the way, are wiser and basically know morw, the more you age, so saying that you would parent the same show that you are just out to prove a point that although you are young you are still a good mum.

I'm not having a go just giving my opinion. Maybe just accept that people are going to comment that you are young and say thank you and move on knowing that you are doing the best job you can and enjoy your baby. smile

I personally, don't think it was her place to comment on weather these women were old, or young.
She is a nurse. YES she cares for people and probaly sees over 50 people a day, but she is in health. Not 'young parenting'.


I'm all for people having their own opinons etc, it think it is awesome that the women on here say what they think, because every side to look at things is never a bad thing.
But, i think calling her 'naive' is just her point she was trying to make.
You can't even say that you would raise a child the same way at 35, as you would 21.
Everyone is different. Maybe if you had a child at 21, then again at 35, your parenting methods would be different. But because you have never had to raise a child before 35, who is to say that things would be different?

I think calling her naive was abit uncalled for. And maybe she did over react with this post, but that is why we have these posts. So we all can have a b!tch and feel asthough we can all relate with one another smile

I personally, don't think it was her place to comment on weather these women were old, or young.
She is a nurse. YES she cares for people and probaly sees over 50 people a day, but she is in health. Not 'young parenting'.


I'm all for people having their own opinons etc, it think it is awesome that the women on here say what they think, because every side to look at things is never a bad thing.
But, i think calling her 'naive' is just her point she was trying to make.
You can't even say that you would raise a child the same way at 35, as you would 21.
Everyone is different. Maybe if you had a child at 21, then again at 35, your parenting methods would be different. But because you have never had to raise a child before 35, who is to say that things would be different?

I think calling her naive was abit uncalled for. And maybe she did over react with this post, but that is why we have these posts. So we all can have a b!tch and feel asthough we can all relate with one another smile

well, in my life i had to look after my 2 younger brothers while my mum went to work. between 15 and 20 years and god yes i did things differently then, then i do now and yes i was way more naive (we all are at some stage).

First I would like to say everyone here can rant about whatever they like, its the whole point of this forum and for me I take this post as not just a dig at the nurse who commented but just in society in general.
I had my first bubba at 22 and am now 25 with 2 lil bubbas and I always get strange looks or people looking at me and saying "How old are you?" in not always the nicest tones... I take it all with a grain of salt because I dont really care what people say about me or think of me but yes sometimes it can be frustrating!! What is wrong with being a young mum???
I dont judge "older" mothers, so we in turn should not be judged....
I'm guessing that's really what this post is about, not just the nurse.

well, in my life i had to look after my 2 younger brothers while my mum went to work. between 15 and 20 years and god yes i did things differently then, then i do now and yes i was way more naive (we all are at some stage).

And i think that anybody that can 'raise' their brothers and sisters like that is amazing. Not everyone can do that. And i admire you for that. But not everyone is the same. And for some, they probaly would raise their childern the same, not matter what age they are.

I guess my point is that, by calling her naive, you sort of just proved that point of why she was posting. It is certainly the little things that strangers say, that can get on your nerves. If you went to 10 shops in one day, and everyone said the same thing as the nurse did, it doesn't become a little thing anymore.
It is the same with DF leaving his shoes in the door way. EVERYDAY he did it and it annoyed the devil out of me.I thought because it was only shoes,it wasn't worth winging about because it was only small. But by the 8th day, it was a HUGE thing because it occurred so often.

I don't think there will ever be a 'right or wrong' way. I fully do agree with you. My up bringing was somewhat different to the average Jo Schmo aswell and that does effect how i'm going to raise my childern.

And i think that anybody that can 'raise' their brothers and sisters like that is amazing. Not everyone can do that. And i admire you for that. But not everyone is the same. And for some, they probaly would raise their childern the same, not matter what age they are.

I guess my point is that, by calling her naive, you sort of just proved that point of why she was posting. It is certainly the little things that strangers say, that can get on your nerves. If you went to 10 shops in one day, and everyone said the same thing as the nurse did, it doesn't become a little thing anymore.
It is the same with DF leaving his shoes in the door way. EVERYDAY he did it and it annoyed the devil out of me.I thought because it was only shoes,it wasn't worth winging about because it was only small. But by the 8th day, it was a HUGE thing because it occurred so often.

I don't think there will ever be a 'right or wrong' way. I fully do agree with you. My up bringing was somewhat different to the average Jo Schmo aswell and that does effect how i'm going to raise my childern.

i understand what your saying and i guess because of my life expereinces and when i look back i realise i was naive (i'm 35 now) and if anyone called me so i would of bitten their head of.

In my 1st post i did say that maybe she had past experiences that got to her and she finally had enopugh and took if out on this lady. It happens and i understanf that.

Sometimes in life hindsight is 20/20, that what i've learn anyway.

sad

I hate looking so mature for my age!!!

I had my first baby not long after i turned 18!!! I was a super young Mum. But my DF was 6 years older then me we had bought a house together just before i got pregnant, we were settled.....

No one ever judged me!

Then i was pregnant with number 2 on my 21st!!! But didnt know it at the time....

So once again still young LOL!!

But once again no one has ever said ANYTHING to me about being a young Mum!!!

How do i look and act younger?? laugh


Can you see what im saying is i wouldnt care if people 'categorised' me as a young Mum! I WANNA BE A YOUNG MUM!!!!! Be proud i say!!! lol

sad

I hate looking so mature for my age!!!

I had my first baby not long after i turned 18!!! I was a super young Mum. But my DF was 6 years older then me we had bought a house together just before i got pregnant, we were settled.....

No one ever judged me!

Then i was pregnant with number 2 on my 21st!!! But didnt know it at the time....

So once again still young LOL!!

But once again no one has ever said ANYTHING to me about being a young Mum!!!

How do i look and act younger?? laugh


Can you see what im saying is i wouldnt care if people 'categorised' me as a young Mum! I WANNA BE A YOUNG MUM!!!!! Be proud i say!!! lol

oh i hear ya mummabears, i'd do a happy dance if anyone called me a young mum smile