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why should I feel bad Lock Rss

So people have been asking me if I will be returning to full time work when I have y baby I respond by saying "I will be I will be a full time mum I would rather do that then be in the 'work force' "
now I get alot of negativity about this. For instance my brother and his wife say that they could never do that as they cant think of anything worse then being home with a baby or child 24/7.
I think this is wrong why would you have a kid if by choice you are going back to work cos you cant stand being around them? and why should I be made to feel bad if I want to be around my kids all the time (I know sounds very 50s house wife about it all but its what I want to do with my life and I dont think everyone should do it its just me) I want to just do this we have figured out how we can afford this so why cant alot of people just accept that this is what we feel is best for our kids and what you think is best for yours is your decision (and if your not even want kids yet then dont tell me what I should be doing)
Sorry for the rant this just frustrates me

Disclosure : I am not saying anything bad about about mums who work and look after kids so please dont take any of it that way
I would love to stay home with DS all day everyday and I'm jealous of you lol smile I only work because I have to not because I want to and I think you have an amazing opportunity to stay home with bubby all the time! Just tell them you've chosen your career and I've chosen mine I don't criticize yours so don't criticize my choice!
Only listen to the postive comments! I am also a SAHM and had the same experience as you, although now that DS is 15months and I am just working part-time I have a lot of positive comments like "Aren't you lucky to be home for this long". Which has been great to hear and I hope you have similar comments to you about what a fantastic job you are doing, etc, once they get past their other issues. Try to ignore the comments and realise that this is the decision your family has made and it's none of their business. What works for one dosen't work for another.




well - I am one of those ones that think you're crazy - LOL - i cant think of anything worse than being a full time SAHM!! I am one at the moment & it drives me friggin bonkers... I NEED STIMULATION!! & i dont mean find a mothers group & go & have coffee & talk about poo, spew, sleep - or lack of - & all those other pleasantries. I NEED to have my brain stimulated by something other than that, otherwise i become bored & very annoying - according to DH anyway... I have always worked & i guess to some degree, that makes part of my identity. To have that taken away (by choice for me at this moment), is a piece of me that is not fulfilled.
Dont get me wrong, i love my kids to bits, but playdough & reading the same book every 5 mins, i just cant cut it. I think MY kids benefit from me going to work, cause i dont feel so uptight about everything.


ETA: i would never be so rude though to actually criticize your decision, that's yours to make, not mine.
I love when people ask "so do you just stay home" I feel like saying yes, i sit on my a** all day doing nothing!!
I have no problem with those who choose, or need to go back to work. But it really erks me when people say "oh i couldn't stay home all the time with my kids, dont you get bored?" Actually no, we play, i have housework to do - the days fly actually!!

I love being home with my DD, i work casually to supplement our income and give myself a bit of adult interaction. But i could never imagine leaving her all day everyday, Which is my choice!!



Sorry for the rant!
hi i fully understand. i think its nice if a woman can work if she wants too and still be able to look after her kids. i personally am more than happy to be a "stay at home mum" without feeling guilty, oldfashined or weird.
It sounds like your sister in law doesn't have any kids yet. i've found it amazing how many mums, even career focused women, who always intended to go back to work, like nothing better than to stay at home with their kids when they are young, once they eventually do have kids.
The whole point of paid maternity leave, child care support etc is to enable women to chose to work if they want to- that also means you need to be able to choose not to go back into paid work if you want to!

Don't feel bad, just do what you think is best for your family. smile
thanx guys
Chilliwoman: I can still do normal stuff I do I paint, I can play xbox hang out with my friends ect ect and all that stuff my job(wich I got sacked for being pregs) was soooooooooooooo boring I was working for jbhifi in the phone part and most days I was cleaning the same part 100 times before that I was in child care


Now my plan is to kinda still work while having my baby, I want to do what my mum did wich is take in kids whos parents are working f/t or p/t cheaper then childcare and a bit more on the cash in hand thing lol my mum did that with I think 9 kids that weren't her own when I was a baby it was just me and one little boy but there was my 2 older brothers and 8 other kids after school times! Ive done the childcare thing before and I love working with kids the reason I got into childcare was to try turn me off having a kid so young(Im 23) but it made me want one more!
roll eyes Have your baby and then rethink about your post... get your head out of the clouds. Some people don't have a choice they need to buy food and pay bills...

thanx guys
Chilliwoman: I can still do normal stuff I do I paint, I can play xbox hang out with my friends ect ect and all that stuff my job(wich I got sacked for being pregs) was soooooooooooooo boring I was working for jbhifi in the phone part and most days I was cleaning the same part 100 times before that I was in child care



Dont worry - i get it - i just need to be hyperstimulated.... LOL & playdough & hobbies just dont float my boat 24/7

For MY family, i have better quality time with my children because when i am at work i miss them & then when i get home, i just want to surround myself with them.

roll eyes Have your baby and then rethink about your post... get your head out of the clouds. Some people don't have a choice they need to buy food and pay bills...


Im sorry I said that Im not wanting to offend anyone but if we can afford to do it and its what I want to do why should I go back to a job were I will earn enough to put my child in childcare ? why should I pay someone to raise my child when I can do it and we can afford it?? and my rant isnt at people who cant afford it and go back to work its about people telling me what I should do with my child and my life if my husband and I choose to raise our child this way why should I fel bad? sure will will need to cut back on quite a bit of things we do atm but its things we dont need we have already cut back and are saving a ton we pay rent we pay for food we pay for bills so yeh dont tell me to take my head out of the clouds when its a personal choice and I never attacked you or what you do

Dont worry - i get it - i just need to be hyperstimulated.... LOL & playdough & hobbies just dont float my boat 24/7

For MY family, i have better quality time with my children because when i am at work i miss them & then when i get home, i just want to surround myself with them.

and thats what works for your family wich is good and I hope you dont think I wa having a go at you when it comes to what I said one thing works for one family another works for another

and thats what works for your family wich is good and I hope you dont think I wa having a go at you when it comes to what I said one thing works for one family another works for another


Not at all mate!!

I still think your crazy tho!! LOL wink

But seriously, don't feel bad - maybe these people that are criticizing you are actually jealous? I am NOT jealous - far from it & so dont feel the need to criticize your decision - IYKWIM?
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