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Good Cop Bad Cop Lock Rss

To all you ladies out there I must first appoligise if this post seems to offend anyone in anyway, it's just that I really need to vent and wasn't to sure whether this was the right place to post this particular delima.

I hate, absolutely hate the idea that we as mothers have to be the bad cop while everyone else in the childs life gets to be the good cop. for the last few days my duaghter has constantly brought my stress level up to the point where I am almost on the verge of tears. I obviously though that she had stopped the naughty behaviour as for about a month this little girl could not be any better. However her behavior has got to the point where at times I have to wonder if she has become possessed by some evil spirit (not that i believe that people can be possessed).
So anyway while I have constantly expected my daughter to at least behave herself for those who look after her, she is just turned into the little devil that i have never seen before. I am not saying that she was a good girl up unlti this point, far from it, it's just that she has got that out of control that her father and grandmother (whom lives with us, it's a very long story) have decided that they get to be the good cops while i have no choice but to be the meanie in the house.
I mean if i was to say no to her (in fornt of them) for a chocolate or something she would turn around nad ask them. Yet instead of them siding with my decision they allow her to have the chocolate. Before they used to support this but now that the new baby is due in 5 weeks they let her get away with murder.
I wouldn't mind so much if it was just the occational slip up but this is constantly, esp with her grandmother. No matter how i have decided to "rear" this little monkey she tries to over step the boundries and be the one that give her everything while i stand there and fume over it. I don't like my daughter seeing me lose my temper as i know that if i was to completly lose it i could very well get out of control andsay things that she shouldn't hear.
But the worse thing about all this is that my partner just sits there and lets all this happen while i have to settle down. Last night i got to the point where i had to remove myself from the company that we had so i could relax, instead of everyone understanding this they constantly sent my little girl in to find out what was going on and if i was alright. this was after they had been told that i was too stressed to be civil to people and i was brought up to remove myself from the situation that was causing the problem.
Now i am getting the blame of my daughter being hyped up (though she hasn't had anything that would cause her to behave like this), yet they were the ones that gave her chocolate and sugared drinks lastnight while i calmed my self down!
I love my partner but if this is how it's going to be it may just cometo the point that i pack my daughter and the baby (if it is born by then) and myself and just leave. this is the one thing that i have promised him that i would never do but if it comes to the point that it's either living in this situation or my and the kids sanity i would have to leave.

Again sorry ladies for this being so long, and i truely appoligise if i have offended anyone with this post. I feel better now for getting this off my chest. I have no clue why i am thie emotional i just hope that it's not forever and once this baby is born i am back to my normal self. Wow this turned out to be an essay, oh well i know i can write them for uni now!!

little monkeys

Hi

Remember that you are pregnant and to take it easy. And on top of that you are hormonal

See if you can put Grandma to good use and have a break away from the lot and have a facial or something even a night away.

I would have a talk with hubby and grandma and tell them both how you feel after your break that way you may be more rational and therefore they will listen more.

Hope you feel better soon. all my love

Mum to 5 amazing gifts from God. 3 girls 2 boys

Hi Deonne,

What a difficult situation for you! It's not fair of your partner not to back you up when you are trying to discipline your daughter, nothing will work that way, if she knows she only has to go to Dad or Grandma to get her way!

I think you need to sit down with your partner and talk to him about your daughter's behaviour, explain that it concerns you, and tell him that the two of you need to work out a plan, and make some rules that you are prepared to stick to - and most importantly, that he needs to back you up! And one of you needs to explain to the grandmother that "these are the rules now, this is how things are going to be done."

You can't expect to get good results if you're constantly being undermined as a mother, I don't blame you for being angry, I'd be furious! Your daughter is just doing what any child would do - exploiting weakness to get her way. You and your partner and the grandmother have to be a united front. Grandparents tend to get away with spoiling their grandkids, which is ok in small doses, but if she's living with you then she needs to play by your rules.

It doesn't sound to me like your feelings are being brought on my preggers hormones - I think you're being perfectly reasonable! Good luck, I really feel for you and hope it all works out. Be strong! smile

This new forum is strange ...

Hi Deonne

I really feel for you it must be an awful time for you right now.

I personally believe that to get the respect you and other family members deserve you have to be a united front as far as discipline and what freedoms your child can enjoy are concerned. I think when you have said no to your daughter and your partner or someone else says it yes she loses respect for any authority you have over her.

If I were in the same situation I would sit my partner down and say how much I need his support and if I were to say no to something then he should back me up. If for some reason he disagrees perhaps we could talk about it later and next time the matter arises it can be dealt with in the way we discussed.

I certainly don't think you have offended anyone at all you are only venting and perhaps asking for some advice - nothing wrong with that. As another poster said you are probably a little more emotional than normal due to pregnancy which just makes everything harder to deal with.

All the best I hope it all works out for you soon.

Kristi

4 lovely munchkins DD 10/03, DD 03/05, DS 10/06 &

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