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Miscarriage of 1 twin :( Lock Rss

Good evening everyone,

I was wondering if anyone else has had the misfortune of loosing one twin.

I was pregnant with twins and twin2 died at 13 weeks. I never miscarried the feotus and I carried it until I delivered my son.

The drs have told me that they were identical twins.

How do I get over this ?

So many people have said to me "atleast you still had one left". To me I cant comprehend that. Yes Im glad that my son was born with no complictions, as also the drs were worried that he would have downs.

I just cant seem to get past it.

When I look at my son I know that there was another baby there. I also feel as though there is a big part of me missing.

Does anyone have any advice, or if this has happened to you how did you or did you ever get over it?

EmYaqoub.
Dear EmYaqoub,

My heart goes out to you I am sooo sorry for your loss! perhaps if you had a personnel private funeral for you lost little bub even if its in your own backyard it may help with your grief.You have every right to feel upset over your loss! As your son grows he to will need to know about his brother because as a twin they will always have a special bond!

I have had two miscarriages my second was twins at 11wks.I am also a fraternal twin and my twin sister just had identical twin boys.So I feel you pain sad

Big hug's!

Nat

Hi there

I miscarried a twin at 10wks with my son (16 yrs ago). They were unidentical: different placenta, sac, etc. I was lucky to keep the other one and was put on bed rest for six months afterwards.
At the time we thought we were only carrying one and that we'd lost our baby. A couple of weeks later we found out after an ultrasound that it was twins. (I guess I was lucky that I didn't have to carry it to term as it all went) Sorry if that sounds horrible.
I got over it, I had to. I had to concentrate on keeping the one that was still there. It was a bit of a shock at the time. I had a healthy baby at the end, that's all that mattered.
It is only in the last few years that my son has asked questions about his twin, but I can't give him any answers as it was so early in the pregnancy.
I agree with Nat, have some sort of memorial for the other twin and treasure the twin that stayed.
It is hard to comprehend how this can happen but it is becoming more frequent these days. Back when I lost my twin there was nobody in the same situation as me.
I agree that there is a part of you that is missing, but there is a part of you here as well, your darling son, and he is healthy.

It does get easier to deal with

Hope I have helped some what



Hi EmYaqoub,

Sorry to hear about your identical twin.

I was told at 20wks that my twins had " Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome" They developed it somewhere between 13wks and 20 wks, as there was a huge size difference in their 3D photo which I still display in my lounge room. It was so horrible knowing that one or both could die.

Also the stress of knowing that if they were born early, would they have cerebral palsy, major developmental delays etc.

I remember thinking that I was going to loose one and what it would be like if I didn't get to know the other twin. Luckily both survived and are healthy.


My heart goes out to you.

Alison.

Hi EmYaqoub, I have twin boys and during my pregnancy I had the normal fears of "what if I had a miscarrige" I tried to reason with myself that if I lost one at least there would be the other one, but now that I have the both of them I could not imagine life without the 2 of them. What you are goung through now and ongoing is extemley bittersweet. Singelton parents don't seem to fathom the idea that with each aniversary or milestone twin parents celebrate for 2 babies not 1.
Have you contacted the Australian multiple births assoc? They have have lots of support for parents going through breavement for the loss of one of their multiples. Their internet address is

http://www.amba.org.au
I hope you can find some peace and be able to love and enjoy both of your babies.

Danielle

hi,

Ive read all your stories and my heart goes out to all of you. My son was born in feb but i wasnt pregnant with twins triplets etc.

i know that if i lost even my son in pregnancy I would be devastated.

I can understand that there would be a big part of you missing and i agree that some sort of memorial service would be a great idea as I think it would put some closure on what you are feeling. People say things like at least you have one left like you mentioned but there is still those feelings you have everytime you look at your child.

Another suggestion would probably make a shrine thing in your house like a poem or a little pair of booties with it etc etc.

As for getting over it i dont think there is a way to. Your babys memory will always be in your mind and always remember there are people out there to support you and youre definately not alone.

i was called ballo!

Hi EmYaqoub,

My name is Joey and I lost my little girl Rhiarna at 33 weeks and delivered 4 days later to my little man Luke.

It's been 2years and 2 months since I held my little girl in my arms and today I'm still coping with my loss. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and yearn to hold her for one more minute.

Time is the only healer... I get as sad today as I did 2years ago but I find the days inbetween my sadness get that little bit longer...if that makes sense.

Through AMBA I joined a wonderful group called OzMost (you can get to this site through the bereavement section on AMBA)... I have met such wonderful mums who have all experienced a multiple loss and to have them in my life at the moment is just wonderful. Our little ~angels~ are never forgotten and spoken about freely.

If you feel that you would like to join OzMost (which stands for Aussie mums of surviving twins) and can't seem to locate the site through AMBA....feel free to email me at [email protected]

email me even if you just want to chat..

Look forward to hearing from you.

Joey.

I am so sorry for your loss, I really feel sad for you. I can't imagine how awful it must feel to loose one of your twins.
I am always worried that one of my twins is going to die and I'll only have one. It's the kind of thing that I had nightmares about near the beginning of my pregnancy.
I think that you should just try and enjoy the time you have with your son, even though his twin is dead and should try not to think to much about his twin. You will never totally get over it but in time it will get easier to cope with. lol

Alice

smile

Lilly,6/ Paige,14mnths & my angel Maddy-SIDS

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