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Any tips on bonding? Lock Rss

I am a first time mum. my son is almost 6 weeks old (you can read my other posts to see what kind of time i've been havin - anyways)
I was just wondering if the whole "overwhelming feeling of love and protection" that your meant to get for your baby does that happen instantly or does it come later when things settle down???

Did you immediately bond or did you have to work at it?

What did you do to bond with you baby?

Am I the only one who feels this way? i feel like i have no connection to him at all. Like i could walk away and not even care. thats bad huh.


i've got a 2 yr old son, i think the bonding starts before bubs is born,
just remember you're going through a big life change and everything is brand new which makes everything scarier.
i think i immediatley bonded with my little man but i've heard of some mums taking a little while as it can be so overwhelming with all the hormones and emotions growing through your system.

I b/f which i think helped with bonding but i also took him in the bath and shower with me.or even just watching him sleep
You do have a connection with your son dont put so much pressure on yourself just take each day as it comes.
I'm sure your not the only mum who's felt like this and you may even have a touch of the baby blues.
Talk to your doc when you have your 6 week check up
and make sure you get enough sleep even if you have a nap with Zak during the day.

You'll be ok and you'll feel the bond with Zak grow as he grows, i couldn't imagine my life without Seth. just give yourself some time

Good luck and congratulations

I remember when my daughter was born nearly 2 years old and I know I had a strong bond with but at the same time I had make myself feed her or even cuddle her and I know with me it took while for me to know that nothing was wrong me and that some people it takes longer for them to have that bond.

The way I got over that feeling was just realising how lucky I was to have a beautiful, heathly little girl and I would just talk to her and explain to her how I felt and my daughter make me feel alot better and I cant explain it but she just did and from that day on I have always told my daughter how much I love her. Even to this day I reckon I had a little bit of post-depression.

Maybe you need to talk to your partner how you feel or even your mum and see how they can help you out more.

Good luck.

Tracey,Jaye (girl)12/06/05, Sam (boy)10/07/09


I found that I bonded with my first stright away, with my second it took a few days and with my third it took a bit longer.

I found that the more people leave you alone to spend time with your bub the better you bond.

It they want to help get them to clean the house and other stuff, so you can sit and spend time soaking in you beautiful bub.

POOK mum of three

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hey i know how you feel. i never got that 'instant love' everyone talks about with my baby either. i had a hard time with breastfeeding, which i think made it harder to bond.
i was trying so hard to do the right thing for my son, that i forgot about me. and then realised that i had to look after my son but also myself, because i was no good as a cranky, tired mummy.
i mean he was my baby so of course i wanted to look after him. and i loved him, but not like i do know. it was something that for me had to grow. and it still grows everyday. sometimes i look at my boy now and cry.
before i used to cry because i didnt feel as though i thought i should.

It took me a few months to get to really 'love' my baby. and connect in that way.
If you want someone to talk to about it you can send me a private msg or send an email to [email protected]

your not a bad mother for feeling this way and it does get better.

Brings back memories
I remember being in the hospital and just thinking to myself
"I know I am supposed to love her..but I dont"
For 9 months you are getting ready for it "Im going to have a baby" but it didnt sink in for me.
My DP was a bit worried because I cried to him saying that I dont love her but its great now.
The more time i spent alone with my baby - looking at her, holding her, kissing and talking to her the more i loved her.
Now I laugh every single day I laugh to make myself not cry because I love her so much
Its hard at the start all these new things happening all at once but it gets better trust me!!
btw I had a csection and i think that had heaps to do with it
Good luck smile]

I think for a lot of us new mothers, what we don't understand is, that you CAN'T fully bond with a baby instantly. Sure you can love them to death but for alot of women, it takes months. These babies are constantly changing and it's hard for us to get used to it all. It can be so overwhelming. I love Cohen SO much, but at the start, i couldnt wait for visitors so i could have my hands free or someone else could feed him.

I also remember after my emergency c/s (which didnt help), i saw him and thought omg wow, he's mine. Then i passed out and was so tired that i didnt care how long it took before i saw him just so i could get some sleep. But i loved him as soon as they took me back to my room!

Give yourself time and there's always someone to talk to. Remember, baby blues are normal but please go to a doctor if you think you are depressed and have post natal depression.

I was so happy to be pregnant but when bub was born I felt as though he was just a child that didn't go home. Don't get me wrong I love all my day care kids.
It took me at least 4 or 5 weeks before I truly began to feel a bond with him.
It's really not easy when you are having such a rough time. I can guarantee you that when the first true smiles begin to show when you enter the room you will feel the bond instantly.

Hang in there.

I felt EXACTLY the same way when DS was born. I remember saying the same thing to my mum. From the moment he was born I didn't feel 'bonded' to him at all even though I had a wonderful pregnancy and supportive partner and he was planned and we were all so excited to meet him... when he was born I didn't feel a thing. I said to my mum that I felt like I should feel more than what I did, that I didn't feel the overwhelming feelings of love and motherhood etc... I really firmly believed that I was not suffering from the baby blues, it wasn't until about 4 months after he was born i felt OK and I realised it was the baby blues, but was in complete denial when I was suffering, I really thought I would know if I had the baby blues, luckily my family realised and were extra supportive through that time. Talk to your family or your supportive network in your life about how you are feeling, it makes a huge difference if the people around you know and can help you and offer extra assistance if needed. It is very overwhelming to have this little human come into your life and change everything you have ever known... hang in there, it gets better, just remember to talk to people about how you are feeling...remember too... you will be feeling a wee bit sleep depreived at the moment...

Jade, QLD, DS Sept 04, #2 due 06/08/07

nope, no bonding straight away here either! My first born, it felt like i had the baby i could leave him there and it was just like another day!. I t also felt like i was babysitting someone elses child. I don't know why, he is now almost 11 and we are very close but it took a good 4 months to actually have that overflow of love come thru me, even though i looked after him and "did what was expected" as a new mum, maybe my perception of it all was a bit blurred. I will tell you as well, my 2.5 year old son, was horrid from birth, by that i mean scrreamed from the second he was born , he was unsettled and everything else, and it was only at about 2 yo that i can say we have actually bonded with each other, that include him, up until recently he never wanted kisses or cuddles and just did his own thing, which was destroy everything!! but now you would never know, we kiss cuddle sing laugh, we love each other to bits, just took us a bit longer to find our feet together!
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