hey i know how you feel. i never got that 'instant love' everyone talks about with my baby either. i had a hard time with breastfeeding, which i think made it harder to bond.
i was trying so hard to do the right thing for my son, that i forgot about me. and then realised that i had to look after my son but also myself, because i was no good as a cranky, tired mummy.
i mean he was my baby so of course i wanted to look after him. and i loved him, but not like i do know. it was something that for me had to grow. and it still grows everyday. sometimes i look at my boy now and cry.
before i used to cry because i didnt feel as though i thought i should.
It took me a few months to get to really 'love' my baby. and connect in that way.
If you want someone to talk to about it you can send me a private msg or send an email to [email protected]
your not a bad mother for feeling this way and it does get better.