Got way of topic

I am a young married mother. i had my son at 19 (i am now 20). Sure young mother's get comments and stares but so do alot of other mothers,no matter whattheir age is. This isn't directed at you mummy 2be but i hate it when young mums constantly go on and on about young mums copping it all. Such is life, worry about your baby not what people think about it. Sure it gets to you sometimes but like i said, i'm 100% positive that there are mother's out there that get nasty comments or stares that aren't teenage mums. If it isn't your age people judge you on its what your baby is wearing, or if they are crying or what they can accomplish at what age.
There is going to be a lot of judging and and trying to compete with you when your little girl is born so my advice (not meant in a nasty way) is get used it ! Don't let it get to you smile

Mummy 2Be - Thank You For opening my eyes!

I never reliesed that i judged young mums until recently.
I never meant to and when i see "young" mums or parents out i admire them and think they do a great job.

However, I was enrolling my girls into DayCare and the Carer was around my age, she was a mum herself and Caitlin seemed to really enjoy spending time with her. Then i found out this "mother" was also a "grandmother" She had her daughter @ 16 and now the daughter has had a child @ 16! This got to me and i judged straight away thinking "bad morals".

I never stopped and thought maybe they actually wanted to be "mums".

I did give the carer a go & she is wonderful.

Amy

I'm not going to respect you just because you're a teenage mum. If you treat your children well and be the best mother you can be, then you'll get my respect. Just like I'm not going to respect all mothers just because they got pregnant and had a child. If you are good to your kids then you get respect.

If you don't think being a young mum is a bad thing then stop being so defensive, otherwise people will think you're covering for something.

Just have your baby and love her and give her the best in life, and don't worry about anyone else.

I think in life we are all constantly judging and being judged. People dont like it if you are a young, old, working or stay at home mum. But as someone else said, you must earn respect. Does it really matter what other people think? As long as your baby is looked after properly, who is anyone to judge you? Young or old, you just need to be the best mum you can be and stuff what people say behind your back, life is too short to worry about things like that, just enjoy being a mummy
[Edited on 08/08/2007]

This post has been moved from the General Discussion forum.

I just want to say that the website is really good. Thanks for sharing!

I was a teenage mother. I was 15 when I had my daughter...Im not embarrased to admit it. I was not ready to be a mother, but when you have a newborn screaming for boobs at 3am...you kinda have to step up and accept responsibility. Her dad was 18 and decided he coudnt handle being a ather so shacked up with a friend of mine and couldnt have cared less what happened to us!

I am extreamly proud of being a mother...not a young mum, teenage mum or what ever...I am just proud to be a GOOD mother!

My mum had me when she was 15 also but she couldnt handle the responsibility and I was raised and later adopted by my aunty and uncle.

I am now 25...have 2 kids DD is 9 and DS is 5. I work as a youth worker, but have worked in education and also welfare and I have seen some terrible mothers...both young and old!

DP and I have been together for 7 years and are currently TTC#3.

As other posters have said I respect all mums that do the right thing by their child/ren...young or old...it doesnt matter as long as you can step up and take responsibilty for your child.

hey mummy to b ...you know I love you hey ???

I just know of a lot of people that had kids really young like 15-16 ..I come from a small town and you either moved away adn found a job or you stayed and got pregnant ..that is of course you finished school .....all of these girls (most of whom I am still extreemly close to ) regrett haveing their children so young ...a career and travel is certainly not for everyone but all of my friends did miss out on part of the growing up process ....being a young mum has absolutly nothing to do with weather you are a good parent or not ...i have spoken to you often and i know you will be agreat mum ...as are all my friends ...there children are bright and well looked after ...My concern is for you not for your child as I know she will be loved and very well taken care of

I just have a concern (by the way this is non of my buisnees and I think your a great chick )that when your children grow up adn you are like 35 ...you will ahve little education and not much job expierance .....do you plan on studying after you have the baby to complete grade 12

All this is true of woman I know ...As i have yet to meet every teenage mother .I cant say this is the case for everybody jsut the woman i know

Your not a naughty little girl ......you are a mature young woman ..

Hi there long time reader, 1st time poster =)



I got pregnant with my DD at 20 years old, was engaged to her father at the time(we are now married with a DS as well). Never got questioned about my age.

My parents were 16 and 17 when they had my older brother, 20 and 21 when they had me and 24/25 when they had my sister. I loved having young parents as they were always in touch with what was going on. Plus i think being younger parents you naturally have a bond with your kids because your more in touch with the trends etc. I also believe that younger mums are more prepared to sacrifice their careers etc to raise the kids whereas older mums are already set in their ways with careers and home loans etc and therefor have to put their kids in daycare and have other people raise them.

My in-laws are a great example of the difference between older parents and younger parents, they are nearly 10 years older than my parents and have very very differents views on raising kids. I would never use any of the techniques my in laws used.

my mum also started her family when she was young... its seems its a bit of a traditon in our family.my great grondmother had her first when she was 20, my grandmother had her first when she was 20, my mum had her first at 18, both my sister and my brother had their first at 20. and i had mine at 19 (conceved at 18). my older sisters (theres a big gap between us) got to have the young trendy mum, where as i not so much my mum was 42 when she had me... she was pregnant the same time my sister was. my mum had to go through a lot with both her first and her last pregnancy, the first she had adopted out as she was unmarried and had no support and wouldn't have been able to cope. and with her last she got looked down on for being an older mother. people often mistook me and my niece as sisters and then when they got corrected would look at my mum and say "you poor thing"

sorry had a bit of a ramble and lost what my point was but hope it helps haha

I am 17 and have a 6 month old son, and am still with my partner. While pregnant i didnt get that many bad looks, but it seems since i had bub the looks are just stupid. I heard one woman the other day so something about young people and babys and ridiculous. Anywhoo, i own my own car, rent my own place, and give my baby everything he needs plus more. I am very proud to be a mum at my age and have learnt to just ignore people. Im the one who loves my son, not them. He is my boy and he is far more important to me then ppl from the shopping centres. My family accepted it, thats all that matters.

hi,

In todays society, most people cant afford NOT to work, so many women are settling into a career BEFORE having children, thinking they may as well establish themselves in the workforce before starting a family. I think this has pushed the general age range for starting a family up to around 30 years old.

Statistically, after 35 the risks of pregnancy increase dramatically, hence a lot of mothers over this age being classified as "high risk" and more incidences of amniocentisis etc to make sure there is not any defects with the bubby. The chances of having a baby with Downs etc increases dramatically after this age.

Back when my mother started a family, it was normal for a woman to be married and have a house and start a family in her early 20's and this was the norm.

Now that we have all these increased pressures with the economy and everything, people are almost feeling forced to work full time and put having children on the back burner, making mothers in the late teens/early 20's seem crazy for starting a family so young.


I know im rambling but my point is that there are many influences affecting what we perceive as normal or too young or too old and there is really no right or wrong answer and it all depends on what works for that particular family.

Having children means making sacrifices and lifestyle changes no matter how old you are. As long as you ultimately do what is best for the child, age should not be a factor in whether you are a fit mother or not.

smile

.
[Edited on 11/09/2007]