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  5. Please help my 5 year old DS has separation anxiety

Please help my 5 year old DS has separation anxiety Rss

My DS started primary school yesterday and was the only child crying.
When i picked him up he was very happy and said he had fun and it wasn't scary.

Today was his second day of school and he got sent home after 30mins of school because he vomited from crying so much.

He went to childcare for 6months last year and for the first 5 months he was fine and happy to go and in fact he looked forward to it.
The last month however he would start crying at drop off every morning and the sheer mention of childcare would bring him to tears.

I don't know what happened to change his feelings so dramatically.
No one in our family has died there has been no big changes in our day to day life.

Also i have tried bribing with new toys and also told him big boys don’t cry, we even have ready for school books that I have been reading with him and I have been telling him all the amazing things he will be doing in BIG school but nothing has worked.

Please help i really don't know what i am going to do to help him through this.
I wish i could do that but i work full time and my husband is currently out of work so i can't take that time off.
I will mention it to my husband though and see if he would be up to it.
I do not embarrass my child or make him feel bad and i really do not like that you are insinuating that.
I came to this forum to ask for advice not be made feel like i am ridiculing my son or not acknowledging his feelings Mrs Happy Head.
If you have nothing constructive to say I suggest you say nothing at all.
Mummy_to_2_angels wrote:
I do not embarrass my child or make him feel bad and i really do not like that you are insinuating that.
I came to this forum to ask for advice not be made feel like i am ridiculing my son or not acknowledging his feelings Mrs Happy Head.
If you have nothing constructive to say I suggest you say nothing at all.


I don't think she was trying to criticize, she was just making a suggestion which may help your son.
How's he going now? I hope he's settled in a bit.
It's a big thing starting school. He may have been the only child in his class to cry, but trust me, he wasn't the only child to cry on the first (or second, or fiftieth) day of school.

Lots of things you can do to help. Pack a little something special in his lunch, a food item, or a note or a smily face on a banana. Take something from home that he can hold onto if he's feeling anxious. Something like a favourite little thing in his bag. I'll assume you're working with the teacher to deal with this. That's what they're there for. Maybe the teacher can keep the toy from home on his/her desk so if he feels the need he can get it, then put it back. Sometimes a photo of the family in his pocket might help, but this could also backfire and make him remember you are not there.

Try to ask him who he played with, what book they read or what things they did in the classroom, specific questions to help him understand how interested you are and how important school is.

The things you have talked about trying (new toys etc) are probably too far away in his little mind to help him when he's feeling sad. He needs something then and there (at school) that he can do to help him feel better.
I agree that you need to acknowledge his feelings, but try to think of a positive way to end the conversation. Like I know you miss Mummy when you're at school, I miss you too, but Mummy will see you in the afternoon and you can tell me all about the new clever things you're doing at school.
I think what Happy Head was getting at, is that if you say big boys don't cry, he might feel he is letting you down by feeling sad, and that might make him more upset. I know it would my DD. I've even told her if she's feeling upset it's alright to cry at school, because then the teacher will know she needs some help. (She tends to bottle it all up, behave perfectly at school, then cry all afternoon about something that happened at 9am!)
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