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i have a question Lock Rss

thanks jakob&abbiesmummy for the congrats smile
there will be 3.5yrs between them and ive got a good 6 months up my sleeve if i need to slowly make any changes and i think the idea of cutting it back a few minutes is a good idea so that if i do need to make it much shorter, i wont have to do it because of the baby coming along.

and lets hope that the second baby is different LOL i keep telling myself i cant possibly get a worse sleeper than i already had!!! laugh
my kids don't have a set routine at bedtime or a actual bedtime.... but generally its teeth toilet and bed..... either dad reads a story or i do..... sometimes we throw them into bed with a book to look at sometimes we read a book on the couch.... because we were flexable it worked in well when Boston was born the kids just fitted in.

also sometimes you just have to put the baby first and sometimes you might move things along a little bit quicker because the baby is due to wake up.... generally our baby is asleep at bed time and gets up once the others are in bed...

things will fall into place don't forget that she will be older by the time the baby arrives.

thank you for all your replies.

and without trying to sound like im getting my nose out of joint, i dont think you have read my post correctly. I didnt say she wont go to bed. we just have a routine that we've had for a very long time and i am concerned about how to continue it without causing problems for her or the next baby. What about that makes you think she has me wrapped around her little finger?
Bedtime IS bedtime. However i put her to bed early enough that we CAN spend half an hour reading and singing etc because it is something that is comforting to her and helps her to go to bed without feeling like shes missed out on that part of the routine that shes so used to.
So im not sure what you mean with that comment but i dont think you know what you are talking about when it comes to my child and how i choose to put her to bed. And that wasnt really the question anyway.

Sorry, I'm just going by so many of your threads about your dd's sleep, I know how frustrating it is and I too was worried how I was going to go with bedtimes once my second arrived but it wasn't something I dwelled on (not saying you're dwelling on it) What I was trying to say is that getting her to self settle might help you a little in case your baby wakes or needs attention.
Maybe I've read all your posts wrong but it sounds like she needs you there to fall asleep, Ds was the same for a while but I worked at getting him to be comfortable to be on his own in bed for a little while until he fell asleep or until I could go back to him.
I to used to wonder how I would ever manage with 2 children when I was pregnant with DD2 as my DS1 is a very energetic 2 year old grin

When I had DD2 DF worked until 8pm Mon to Fri and I had to juggle my two babies on my own as DS1 would go to bed between 7 and 7.30.

I remember DD2 wanting constant feeding in the evening too which was a bit of a struggle at times! Sometimes you have no choice but to put them down either in their bouncy chair/jolly jumper/cot etc so you can tend to your other babies (I know at times its hard with a crying baby though lol).

I found that if DD2 was awake while I was getting tea ready I would put her in her bouncer in the kitchen with me while I could keep an eye on her. When she could keep her head up I would put her in her jolly jumper which she loved! I had a bath support for DD2 so I would bath them together and then get DD2 changed first while DS1 was happily playing with his toys in the bath and then I would put DD2 in either her bouncy chair or jolly jumper while I changed DS1.

After I had bathed both my babies I would give DD2 a bf whilst DS1 was occupied with a few toys and then when it came to DS1's bedtime we would brush teeth and then I would take DD2 and lie her down with DS1 and read them a few stories if DD2 was getting a bit scrathy I'd only read DS1 at least one story.

DD2 has never really had a set routine she kinda just slotted into the routine we'd already had for DS1. We would have tea, then bath time, brush teeth and then have at least three stories before bed which was always between 7 and 7.30. If she managed a sleep between tea and bedtime that was great! lol But most of the time she was awake from about 3 - 4ish till about 8.30ish (DF was lucky to get cuddles some nights) constantly feeding but she did start sleeping 12 hours a night from 6 weeks which was great!

Sorry for the long winded reply! As they get older its gets a lot easier. I made sure that DS1 had heaps of one on one time with mummy when DD2 was down for her naps during the day and I used to involve him in helping me to fetch nappies etc for his sister and he loved helping out and being a big boy.

Good luck with it all! How much longer to go?

thanks jakob&abbiesmummy for the congrats smile
there will be 3.5yrs between them and ive got a good 6 months up my sleeve if i need to slowly make any changes and i think the idea of cutting it back a few minutes is a good idea so that if i do need to make it much shorter, i wont have to do it because of the baby coming along.

and lets hope that the second baby is different LOL i keep telling myself i cant possibly get a worse sleeper than i already had!!! laugh

You're welcome.

6 months is such a long time and your little girl will be little miss independant and you will want your little girl back!

You will be fine smile

hehe you and your new baby will adapt. good luck smile

I think most mums worry about these kinds of things when pregnant with #2. The reality of it is some nights routine will go to plan and other nights they won't.. Your dd might get her nose out of joint for a while but she will soon figure out bub is here to stay so she'll just have to get use to it laugh . Some nights she may have to lay in bed and wait while you feed bub or you could try and feed bub while reading to dd.. You thought you knew how to multi task already hey?? Just wait til #2 is here, multi tasking will be what you live and breath for a little while laugh . Then there will be nights when bub #2 will just have to wait and bub #2 will be sooo much more relax it probably won't bother him/her. You'll just have to take each day and night as it comes.

My dh works long hours and is never home at bedtime so i understand your concerns. DD1 is now 4 and dd2 is 2.5. When dd2 arrived dd1 wasn't even 20mths. DD2 didn't sleep much in the day but went to bed at 5pm and would wake at 6am (with night feeds in between). So what i use to do was give dd1 and early dinner and when i was trying to feed dd2 i would give dd1 a bowl of ice cream and a dvd and she would sit quitely while i fed dd2 (dd2 was a fussy feeder and didn't like noise).. So dd2 was in bed early which left plenty of time for dd1 and myself to hang out and keep her bedtime routine and normal as possible.
thank you all very much for your replies. i appreciate all the responses and its given me plenty of ideas and reassurance.

to PP regarding "all my posts" about DDs sleep. Yes there has been a lot. not recently that i can think of though? in fact my DD has been doing really well with her sleep apart from a rough patch when we moves house 3 months ago. She does have her weeks where she goes backwards and wont want to go to bed because of nightmares or the like,but for the most part i dont really feel the need to complain apart from the odd occasion where she does test me. and usually it rights itself within a few days of me getting tough on her or her getting over cutting her tooth or whatever it is thats been causing her to be a little toad.
In fact it was bugging me so i just went and checked my post history and i havent had a whinge about her sleep issues since mid september - which was right when we moved house, so to be expected. i guess you have a good memory and have been around long enough to remember when she was REALLY bad. because not whinging since september means shes improved DRASTICALLY on what she was like LOL

6 months is a long time... (and also not! LOL) so im sure by the time im due, things will be totally different again as one thing i DO know from being a mum, you certainly cross a new set of troubles every other week wink

thanks again. Im off for the night but i'll try to get on tomorrow to read any more replies smile
hi again

As someone who can probably count on one hand how many full nights sleep they've had in 2.5 years, I understand how scary and tentative you're feeling right now.

I dont know of your dd's sleep history but my dd1 was about 18 months old before she felt comfortable enough to go to sleep on her own and dd2 seems to be following suit. Its our routine to cuddle our girls to sleep both day and night and yes I wondered how on earth I was going to be able to do this with dd1 after dd2 arrived. Obviously I could only hold one comfortably in my arms.

After having dd2 though, it started a new transition for dd1. If her day time nap co-incided with feeding dd2, then dd1 would just lie on the couch beside me and hold my hand while I was feeding dd2, and she would eventually just drift off to sleep. I could then put dd2 down and take dd1 off to bed. This transition then enabled her to feel confident enough to go to bed on her own.

Whilst many will think this should have been something that dd1 should have been able to do from only a few months old, it honestly broke my heart that she didnt need my arms wrapped around her anymore, to drift off to sleep.

DD1 also used to be up half the night until around 14 months. She would wake at around 1am and then be so wired from having a good 4 oor 5 hours sleep, that she wouldnt go back to sleep until about 4 or 5am.

Being heavily pregnant and boarderline immobile cause of SPD and looking after a 14 month old who was up half the night really made me question my sanity and why we'd go back for a second child. I said in my pp, you just adapt because you have to. Just remember to go with the flow and know that some days will be shear hell and some days will make you wonder how easy its been.

You will be fine!
my dp doesnt help with bedtimes or baths so i had to do it all myself too. some nights if one is unsettled its not fun, but u deal with it.
the bathing the kids at the same time then feed bub while A plays with some toys or whatever. is a good idea, thats what i did with my 2
dd had her dinner early then she would have a bottle and go to sleep in the pram, i would cook our dinner and put ds to bed using our normal routine. dd would then wake for another bottle around 10pm and after that she would go to sleep in her cot.

another idea is to get A some "big girl" books like preschool workbooks or something and start doing these with her once a week or if she has been good as a treat, then when baby comes along, you can give A her books to do while u tend to baby.
of if u are going to put bub to sleep first let A help u i know my DS loves to help read stories or sing songs to DD and kiss her goodnight and turn out her light.

DS is exactly the same as your DD and we'll have about the same age gap too! Our routine is exactly the same and he NEEDS it, it has nothing to do with him having us wrapped around his little finger, he's just not the kind of kid that you can throw into bed and expect him to sleep. He's a very full on little boy and needs that time to unwind so I get exactly where you're coming from!

No advice though Em, I'll get back to you in about 17 weeks though if you like? At the moment all I can do is cross my fingers and hope like hell that this baby is nothing like her older brother! Lol
You will work it out cos you have to!!!
I wouldn't go stressing about it right now.....

When DD2 came along she was a freaken nightmare (was lucky she was so cute I tell ya!!) and I would bathe the older kids whilst rocking her in a pram, or rocker, or her hanging off a boob.....
Some nights the kids got a story in bed laying with their little sister, some nights it was on the couch whilst I fed, some night i didn't read to them, I learnt to adapt and the kids did too...... they do IMO need to learn SOME flexibility....

Then I would bathe DD2, BF her.... spend 2 hrs rocking her, feed her again.... get her to sleep and she would wake at midnight - 5am!!! LOL God I wished she was like my 2nd, 12hrs from 8 wks!!!! LOL
To be honest your kids will both just have to learn how to wait, and that's a really good thing!!!

Sometimes you'll have to let the baby have a little cry while you tend to your DD. Other times your DD will have to wait. She will be a older when your baby is born.

As a previous poster said, i used to take my DD into my DS's bedroom while i read storied etc (if i had too). He just had to learn that is he wants mummy to read him stories then his baby sister would have to sometimes come too.

Good luck, it all works itself out in the end. You can't really plan these things you just go with the flow smile
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