needing some disipline suggestions !!

my best friend from school had a boy 2 weeks before turning 15 ..she actually lost her virginity with this man (he was 24) cause her mum siad to her she has to do it some time ( she expressed concern to her mum cause she was sexually abused by her brother who then went and shot himself when he was found out ...)so her upbringing was no yard stick ..she really was starting from scratch with this boy and she was just a girl herslef ...she then had another girl when she was 20 or so ...she then left this dead shit for good ...

I wont go into the mental abuse that this man did to my friend ..lets just say 10 years later she is still dealing with it ..she has gotten on with ehr life dont get me wrong ...but she still has a few scars that are difficult to heal !!

so ...since the day this boy was born he was trouble ..he was voilent even as a toddler ...and now he is nearly 14 ...he is still violent and he is also bigger then my freind ..he has threatened to kill his sister with a blade she later found in his cupboard ..so she called the cops .they came and apparently she was very pleased witht he responce she got from them !! they took her and the situation seriously ...and they issued him with a warnign ...but ..a week later he was found agai with a knife at school !!

so this boy has been wanting to live with his father since he was 6 ...but he is a horrible influance and she has resisted all these years ..that and the fact that the father doest want the responsibility !! ......fast forward a few years ...she is tierd ..she is sick of fighting and she has run out of ideas ...so she has arranged for him to go and live with his dad ..his dad borked at the idea but my friend is at her witts end so she told him if he dosent take him she is going to have to put him in foster ...she cant protect her daughter ..I know this sounds like she is playing favorites ...but I will now list the things my frined has done to try and help !!

psycologists
counclellors (religosu and non religous )
meditation
martial arts (I know this one sounds far out ..but she thought that the positive male role model and the disipline would help ..and it did ...if only a fraction )
hypnptherapy
meditation
child yoga
adopt a big brother programe
adopt a grandparent programe
belting the living crap out of him
she has done the ppp parenting programe

so it is not like he became difficult and she is just trowing int he towel ....letting him go to his fathers lace is the only thing she hasnt tried ...

so ......has anyone got any other suggestions ...she doesnt want him to go to his dads ...but she is out of options ...she has fought for so long and she is feeling like it was all for nothing now ..she has lost relationships and friends cause of this boy and now to just elt him go seems to her like it was all for nothing !!

anyone ...she is honestly desparate !

geese sorry ladies ..that was really long winded !! lol lol lol

just diddnt want you all to think she was a derro with no brain so I wanted to set the scene !! lol lol lol

Wow - it is horrible that some people like your friend have to go through so much in their lives. She sounds like a very strong lady to have coped with so much and it is no wonder she is tired and scared for her daughter. Do we have a 'military school' system like they do in the US? It sounds like something like that would suit him, although if we do it probably is expensive. What about cadets? Gosh, I hope some one has a good suggestion as it doesn't sound like his Dad will be a great influence. You are a good friend to her, Lukes Mum.

maybe her sending him to his dads will be a good thing, the boy might see how much better it was at mums and how dad doesnt want him there and might scare some sense in to the kid.
good on your firend for not giving up so eaily though!
hope everything works out well in the end though give her my best.

she can put him in the the army cadets!! she should have a look into that!! it will be good for disapline!!
and they can also teach him a trade!!

it has been really hard to stand by ...even harder now I have a son of my own ..I have had to make arrangments to see her when he is either not home or she can come over here with out him ...we talk more on the phone than anything ..she understands ..she doesnt want to be there with im either !! I feel just rotten about havign to say something to her about it ...but I have to protect Luke when it is all said and done ..so I am not the friend I wish I could be ...but I am beign the mother I want to be ..that is hard sometimes !!

Millarty school .....I will let her know ...crikey ..if they dont pull him into line he is screwed I say!!

Holy hell Frances! One option that she does have is to contact DHS/DoCS and ask them for some advise. They will be able to point her in the right direction as they are used to dealing with violent kids.

Best of luck to her.

or anything she could do is organise with the police to come and get him and lock him up for a short period and show him that if he doesnt pull hi shead then this is where he will end up.

It's a shame they don't have a programme here like the one in the UK - it was on UK TV and they sent bad children there - ones whose parents and everyone else had tried everything. I can't remeber the name but these "tough" kids were blubbering messes when people started to tell them their behaviour was completely unacceptable and they had nowhere to run. Sounds like he could do with a dose of that. You are a good friend and first and foremost you need to think about any potential impact this "child's" (cause that what he is) behaviour may have on you or your son if you see her.

Posted by: mummy05
or anything she could do is organise with the police to come and get him and lock him up for a short period and show him that if he doesnt pull hi shead then this is where he will end up.

will they do this /???? he is actully only 13 .( he will be 14 in a few months ) ....I wonder if I give the police station a call ..they will just suggest councelling or something ...I am sure of it ...

he snuck out one night and was found just wandering the streets alone ...the cops found him and brought him home ...I dont actually believe he was just going for a walk ...I recon he was on his way to somewhere ..but if he is not going to say ..how can we find out !!

she has taken his mobile and lap top away from him (both gifts from his dad that she said that he couldnt have ) so he cant communiacte with his friends ...she is getting my hubby to look through it to see what sites he has been on ....god some of them are dark ..surly some of this stuff is illegal !!

What about a camp for troubled teens? Not sure where she lives but there is Youthinsearch http://www.youthinsearch.org.au/help.html in NSW. There are other ones I'm sure but I don't know the names.

how old do you have to be to have a job ?? was thinking that that sort of responsibility might be good for him !!