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Stupid women across the road - VENT - UPDATE Lock Rss

In regards to my previous post listed below I thought I would give everyone an update. Thank you all for your replies, it meant a lot to me last night.

This morning I did go to Department of Child Protection and asked to speak to the person in charge. I spoke to the Director of the office and she was LOVELY. She read my letter of complaint and she then checked but they DO NOT have an employee by this name working for them. She then asked me to describe her and when I did that she said she thought she worked for a no government, not for profit organisation that helps disabled children and also refugees. She recommended that I take my complaint letter down to their office and she said that they director down there would be interested to read the complaint letter as if this was one of her employees she would like to know about it.

I asked her, the director of the Child Support Agency Office about the whole Time out issue on the front Porch. She didn't have a problem with it as long as the children are in a safe in environment and they are not left out for too long, she thinks it is a fine form of discipline and correcting unwanted behaviour. She is going to keep my letter in case a complaint from this chick does come in.

As for this stupid b***** across the road, I think she is doing this as my husband does some work at the detention centres and with the detainees. We are starting to feel that her issue with us is not our use of time out but her not agreeing with the whole detention centre issue. I don't know this for sure but nothing else makes sense.

Tonight, my kids who are 4 and 2 were being ratty around 5 to 5.30 pm the usual ratty time. Anyway my 4 year old DS would not come inside for dinner and a shower. He was warned with time out several times, so he got put into time out. The spot we use for time out is the front porch as we have a glass front door so we can see the kids at all times, we can lock the front door as they just open their bedroom doors, there is a million toys in their rooms and any other spot they do not stay in the time out spot. Our 4 year old gets 4 minutes in time out then we speak to him and if he is still not ready to behave, he gets a further 4 minutes. Our 2 year old DD gets 30 secs to 2 mins depending on her reaction.

When the kids get put into time out they do not like it and scream but it is an effective and quick way of dealing with situations.

Anyway, after DS came inside, had a hug and then had dinner then a shower. When DS was in the shower, DD has wanted to go into the shower too,, but given that he was tired they would have probably just fought in their and DD had already had a shower we said no to her. She thru a tantrum and tried to get into the shower herself. She was warned several times then she got put into timeout. After she came inside and had a hug my DH got a text message on his phone from the lady across the road saying "Hi XXXXXXX, it’s XXXXX from across the road. I am very distressed and concerned about your use of time out by locking your children outside given their ages and fear level of their screaming, Please consider another management to reduce the distress of the children XXXXX

My husband has then gone and talked to her and she informs him that she works for Child protection and she is putting in a complaint against as time out is abusing our children. WTF???

I am sooooooooooo angry. I have just written a 2 page letter of complaint about her to Child protection explaining our time out discipline and complaing about her cowboy unprofessional conduct. How unprofessional is it of her to send us a text message complaining about our parenting style. Why didn't she come and talk to us, or come back tomorrow during her course of business with her co workers.

ALSO, get this SHE DOES NOT HAVE CHILDREN

She has our number as a while ago my husband was outside and got talking to her and she said they were going away. he said we would keep an eye on her house and we exchanged numbers.

Anyway, vent over.
Don't send your reply!!

She may be bluffing...and once child protection are in your lives they are mighty hard to get rid of...

Keep the letter for later, and the text message.

Have no further contact with her.
Whoa thats nasty!! You must be feeling pretty sick right about now, I'd be gutted! Hope nothing comes of it and she gets put in her place.
a perfect example of someone only seeing part of a situation, jumping to unnecessary conculsions and completely overreacting cos only they know how to be a parent to your children, not you.
Hi

This woman sounds like a ninny. Deadset, timeout is not child abuse so I would not worry about her so called "complaint".

I would however reassess your choice of place for timeout and keep it within the home not outside the front door, especially with sticky beak neighbours like her.

When people are on the outside looking in they can imagine and assume all kinds of things, she's seeing your kids "locked out" and wailing and carrying on and to her it probably is distressing.

We use the end of the hallway at our house, there's no toys, nothing to do and if they move their time starts again. I'm sure your kids would soon adapt to a new spot and dont stress about this woman and dont buy into it by writing a letter yourself, keep the details for your own records but leave it at that. Her complaint wouldnt go anywhere anyway.

a perfect example of someone only seeing part of a situation, jumping to unnecessary conculsions and completely overreacting cos only they know how to be a parent to your children, not you.

Thank you for that, it made me feel a bit better.

I can't believe she works where she says she works and would see so many horrid things and she thinks time out is child abuse/neglect or whatever.
i agree, keep the text message and your letter but dont do anything about it unless and until you receive a phone call or visit in case she is just bluffing you.

from an outsiders perspective it would look pretty bad seeing a parent lock a child out the front of their house at that age as a form of punishment/discipline, especially if she DOES work in childrens services so is hyper-sensitive to child abuse due to her profession. HOWEVER, she should also know, due to her profession, that you can not make assumptions without knowing the full story.

I'd probably find a new place for time out in case she is documenting your "abuse" as she has alleged. Better not to give her any fuel for her fire.
i think its not so much time out that she has a problem with, but the fact you are leaving your child out the front of the home, unsupervised. i know you say you can watch them but she may not be aware of the fact you are watching/can see them out there so for all she knows, you are in effect locking them outside as punishment and i tend to agree it would be distressing.

but like i said, its not child abuse to use time out and she should know better than to throw words like "child abuse" around without solid evidence or grounding to back up her allegation.

just wait and see if anything eventuates and even if it does, an inspection on your kids and your home would prove that her claims were incorrect.
Luckily I am friendly with all my neighbours, cos the way my kids carry on sometimes, I am sure if they didn't know me they would ring the cops! LOL! Our time out space is the laundry... maybe you could try something like this too? And if they open the door, then that is means to add more time to their original time out. Just a suggestion?

I did read an article a while back saying that they were looking to bring in a fine for child care workers who put children in time out as it is "segragating the child from their peers." BULLSH!T!! I think this is the biggest crock EVER!

No wonder children have no respect for adults anymore.

Something you need to consider is that the mandatory reporting legislation requires people working in some jobs (doctors, nurses, teachers, police officers etc) to report concerns of child abuse to DOCS. Even if she is overreacting - she doesn't really have a choice. She is only doing what is legally required of her.
BTW I don't think you did anything wrong.

Something you need to consider is that the mandatory reporting legislation requires people working in some jobs (doctors, nurses, teachers, police officers etc) to report concerns of child abuse to DOCS. Even if she is overreacting - she doesn't really have a choice. She is only doing what is legally required of her.
BTW I don't think you did anything wrong.


I think she is taking it a bit far. Has she never seen a child chuck a tanty before?? LOL!


I think she is taking it a bit far. Has she never seen a child chuck a tanty before?? LOL!


Exacery... she needs to get herself a 2 and 4 year old smile
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