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Explaining to 4yo Lock Rss

my dd is almost 4 the last few weeks she has been out of sorts and on the naughty side. she is now asking why her daddy wont come and see her. he last saw her at the end of November, he never calls i do it ALL. i have tried explaining that daddy needs to work but its no longer enough. He only answers the phone when suits him (ALWAYS an excuse) his gf doesnt like him talking to dd or me. he wont believe me when i say she wants to know when he coming out.

sorry its long

has any one got any ideas please???
Thats a tricky one, Im sorry I dont have any advice or suggestions. Whats your gut telling you? What senarios have you thought through? Can you just keep telling her he is busy and hope she will let it go soon? Poor little darling, What a jerk!!
i would love to tell him were to go but i dont want her hating me for it later on would rather have her make that decision. i just dont know what to so or do any more. it upsets me so much knowing i cant controle when n if she sees her dad.

my dd is almost 4 the last few weeks she has been out of sorts and on the naughty side. she is now asking why her daddy wont come and see her. he last saw her at the end of November, he never calls i do it ALL. i have tried explaining that daddy needs to work but its no longer enough. He only answers the phone when suits him (ALWAYS an excuse) his gf doesnt like him talking to dd or me. he wont believe me when i say she wants to know when he coming out.

sorry its long

has any one got any ideas please???


Can you get your DD to draw a picture for him and send it? However if he is not interested in having a relationship with her this will probably not help much, I think you need to try and talk to him and find out if he is going to be an active part in her life or not and take it from there.
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I sent him a text yesterday telling him that if he wants to walk away he needs to tell dd and go. I called him today and he says he wont walk away and he has debts he trying to pay out. He doesnt need money when he comes here as my parents will pick him up n drop him off (3 hours out of there way each way) but he believes he needs money to spend time with her. omg over this same argument everytime he is broke
OMG I could have written this myself, except I have a son and he is 6.

He has been absent since Nov 2011 (his choice because his gf and her 2 children became the priority). He has been in and out of my DS's life since he was 12 months old (again his choice) and it hasn't really had an effect on my DS until now when he is old enough to start noticing other father's picking their children up from school and taking them to their soccer games. He asks to call him and we try to do so but his father refuses to pick up the phone so then I get the questions 'why doens't my daddy love me anymore?, why doesn't he want to see me anymore?' and I am at a loss for words to answer him.

I tried going through a mediation centre to get us together to talk things through but finally after 5 months (just got confirmed today), he is unwilling to participate.

I have been looking on google for ways to talk to my son about his father and I came across something another mother has decided to tell her DD, simply it is 'Your father has some problems now that he has to deal with, and when he gets better and figures things out he will call and you can see him again.'

Here's the link
http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/divorced-parents/helping-a-child-cope-with-an-absent-parent/?fb_ref=.T5YvGWR1hMw.like&fb_source=timeline

I'm going to use this the next time my DS asks about his father. Hopefully this can help you as well. good luck.

I have been looking on google for ways to talk to my son about his father and I came across something another mother has decided to tell her DD, simply it is 'Your father has some problems now that he has to deal with, and when he gets better and figures things out he will call and you can see him again.'

Here's the link
http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/divorced-parents/helping-a-child-cope-with-an-absent-parent/?fb_ref=.T5YvGWR1hMw.like&fb_source=timeline

I'm going to use this the next time my DS asks about his father. Hopefully this can help you as well. good luck.


My thoughts are that you should just be a little careful about the phrasing you use when you speak to your son. I think it would be much better to say that his father MIGHT call and MAYBE he will see him again, rather than saying that he "will" call and you "can" see him. You are not in a position to promise your son that he can have a relationship with his father if the father isn't interested, and you may find that your son becomes resentful towards you if he feels that you have promised him something that then doesn't eventuate.

Remember in the author in the link is talking about a scenario that is a little different, her daughter's father had health and addiction issues and eventually had visitation rights taken away from him, rather than him simply choosing to walk away with no valid reason.
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