I've wondered if it is 'normal' to feel this way or not.
I think you hit the nail on the head with this comment. If you have to wonder whether what you are feeling is normal, then it probably isn't!
I have had PND twice now, although I don't think it ever truly went away. I had severe ante natal depression in my last pregnancy, and I can see myself heading down the same road. I want to get help, but sometimes I just think I'm over reacting and don't need it. Then something simple happens, like one of the kids spills a drink, and I get so upset about it I realise I need help. I know my PND has negatively impacted on my oldest child in the past, and I refuse to let that happen again.
There is nothing wrong with admitting you need help. The hardest part from then on is getting the help. I guess I kind of felt like once I admitted it, that was enough. To be able to put a label on how I was feeling was enough for me, I didn't want to go any further. But it's seriously ruining my life. My marriage is in shambles, I'm pregnant (by suprise) with my third, and sometimes I think that things just can't get any worse. Then I'll have a moment of clarity and realise how much I have in my life to be thankful for. Sometimes, it still doesn't feel like enough though.
It's like I'm wading through quick sand and I just don't have the energy to get out.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you think on any level at all that there is a problem, it's worth talking to your GP about it. Or go to blackdoginstitute.org.au. There are numbers you can call, and people who can help you wade out of where you are. Just reach out for help. There is always someone who can help you. There are always options out there. You just have to ask.
Now I just have to take my own advice......................................