Things were hard when i first had my son, i've often felt guilty for bringing him into the worl as i''ve felt that i've done the worst possible thing. I dont see any point in being here other than to help him.
I keep pretending everything is okay towards other people, especially when it come to the plunket nurse who always asks if i've felt depressed etc, i cant bring myself to tell her how it really is. I just pretend like everything is okay.
I know i should talk to someone but i just keep waiting for the horriblness/ bad sort of thoughts to end, but it never does. I thought maybe coming on here may help. I wouldnt do anything to myself because i do not want to leave my son. My partner doesnt really understand at all, ive tried to tell him but i just would sound desperate, plus he leaves all the time before i build up the courage.
wow, didnt realise how much i have written. i dont really knpow if this needs a reply but i just needed to say something. I stay as strong as i can for my son throughout the day but as soon as he has gone down for the night i just end up crying myself to sleep, i cant remember a day which hasnt ended in tears, i find myself tearing up whilst driving back home from places, its like coming back to the reality of realising what is the point in this world.
I keep pretending everything is okay towards other people, especially when it come to the plunket nurse who always asks if i've felt depressed etc, i cant bring myself to tell her how it really is. I just pretend like everything is okay.
I know i should talk to someone but i just keep waiting for the horriblness/ bad sort of thoughts to end, but it never does. I thought maybe coming on here may help. I wouldnt do anything to myself because i do not want to leave my son. My partner doesnt really understand at all, ive tried to tell him but i just would sound desperate, plus he leaves all the time before i build up the courage.
wow, didnt realise how much i have written. i dont really knpow if this needs a reply but i just needed to say something. I stay as strong as i can for my son throughout the day but as soon as he has gone down for the night i just end up crying myself to sleep, i cant remember a day which hasnt ended in tears, i find myself tearing up whilst driving back home from places, its like coming back to the reality of realising what is the point in this world.