mothers living with domestic violence

Hi all,
After replying to a topic, and reading some replies and seeing there are a lot of women in the same boat, maybe there should be a forum for pregnant women, and mothers living with/lived with domestic violence.
It may sound a bit silly, but for some people, talking to complete strangers may help, and it could be an outlet for some?
I don't know if it would work? But for some women they don't want to talk to friends/family most of the time they suffer in silence.

This is a great idea. Often an outlet and support, even from total strangers, can be enough to give a person the strength they need to make a change for the better.
I've been through it and come out the other side - twice now.

I hope this can find the ones that need it smile

I have been through it too, and came out the other side. Oprah helped me LOL!!!! Watching her shows.

thing is, my ex said as long as he didnt leave a bruise I couldnt do a thing! but the few times I did get bruises I was too attached to document it. It was Oprah and being pregnant, wanting to save my baby that got me out grin

I went through domestic violence, I got through it even through it nearly killed me in the process, I found a great way to get over it, finishing the marriage and getting a divorce! Worked wonders..

I went through domestic violence, I got through it even through it nearly killed me in the process, I found a great way to get over it, finishing the marriage and getting a divorce! Worked wonders..

Did getting a divorce make it final? Just curious if he left you alone after that.

I wasn't married to my ex. For a solid 2 years after I left him he would track me down and constantly hang around. I moved to a different state to get away from him and only just moved back home 3 years ago. We got together 11 years ago and were together for 2 1/2 years. He hasn't found me in this house yet, but I know he has a general idea of where I live, and given my last experience with him about a year ago, I know he's still just as hung up on making my life hell. I tried to apply for a restraining order (or whatever they're called now??) and was told that a copy of my application would be sent to him as 'he has the right to defend himself against your accusations'. I asked them if that meant he would end up with my address as it was on the form I'd filled out and they said yes!! I told them that if he had that then he'd probably burn my house down so it wasn't worth the risk, they said there's nothing they could do about it. 5 hours later I asked for a police escort back to my car as I knew he'd still be there (that's where I left him on our meeting a year ago, he found it in the multi-storey carpark), the police reluctantly agreed after I begged them. The entire walk back there I was told I was being silly and no one would bother to hang around for over 5 hours bla bla bla etc. We got to the lift area and there he was, waiting for me. The look on the cops face was priceless, the look on ex's face was also somewhat amusing. I think it was then (when they got his cars rego number) that they found out that he already had DVO's on him from a few months before that the police themselves had issued to him, and that he'd literally come straight from that court case and found me!

I wish getting away from him was as easy as getting a divorce smile

I had the same problem with my ex, he got together with someone else after me, and she was getting him charged with sexual assault and assault. His own father had him charged with assualt and put an AVO on him. He managed to track me down again and started sending death threats to me via email and phone msgs and phone calls. So I applied for an AVO and apparently according to the police, I should just change my number and change my email address, even with the past history, he gets away with it?
It makes me so angry inside that regardless of how hard I try, he will always be in the back of my mind and that we may catch up again, thanks to my lovely sister who I recently found out has been in contact with him has told him where I am now. Not that long ago I got a msg on my FB from him saying he and his family are going to get me and they will end up with my son, I told police, and na nothing they can do, there advice is get rid of FB. I'm sick of changing my life because of this lowlife!

That sounds like a great idea. I just got out of an abusive relationship 2 months ago, my ex had big drug & alcohol addictions, lying, stealing money, pyshical and verbal abuse, I ended up leaving when he smashed a glass on me and was going mental at me, left in the middle of the night with the boys. Would be great to speak to other people who have been through the same things.

That sounds like a great idea. I just got out of an abusive relationship 2 months ago, my ex had big drug & alcohol addictions, lying, stealing money, pyshical and verbal abuse, I ended up leaving when he smashed a glass on me and was going mental at me, left in the middle of the night with the boys. Would be great to speak to other people who have been through the same things.

Well done for getting out smile
These days I find it very easy to talk about it all, it's one of those 'laugh or cry' situations and I choose to laugh. I have learned so much from it all. That said, there is also large chunks of my life missing. It used to bother me that I couldn't remember all my time with him, I wanted to know all the things that he put me through. With a bit of intensive counselling I've accepted that it is probably best that those memories are gone forever, it is self preservation.
Are you feeling settled and happy now that you're out?

Well done for getting out smile
These days I find it very easy to talk about it all, it's one of those 'laugh or cry' situations and I choose to laugh. I have learned so much from it all. That said, there is also large chunks of my life missing. It used to bother me that I couldn't remember all my time with him, I wanted to know all the things that he put me through. With a bit of intensive counselling I've accepted that it is probably best that those memories are gone forever, it is self preservation.
Are you feeling settled and happy now that you're out?

I agree, I'm the same as Streetlights. Laugh or cry. I too have forgotten A LOT of the hell my ex put me through, to the point where i re-read of previous DVO's and freaked out about it when I read what I (and police) had written years before. Sometimes its easier to forget when it hurts to remember. Talking helps me, especially considering the DVO expires in under 2 weeks so we no longer have the law on our side. I have a great group of online girlfriends who really help me out.

Bumping cos it's useful wink

what a good idea. i hope this stays at the top of the page as there is always posts on here from women in abusive relationships and it would be great to be able to point them to a thread where others can relate.

i was in an abusive relationship for 5 years but thank goodness i never had children so when i left, i was able to make a clean break.

Well done for getting out smile
These days I find it very easy to talk about it all, it's one of those 'laugh or cry' situations and I choose to laugh. I have learned so much from it all. That said, there is also large chunks of my life missing. It used to bother me that I couldn't remember all my time with him, I wanted to know all the things that he put me through. With a bit of intensive counselling I've accepted that it is probably best that those memories are gone forever, it is self preservation.
Are you feeling settled and happy now that you're out?

It is interesting you say this.. I sometimes talk to friends about my past experiences.. and then I remember something that has been suppressed in the back of my mind and go "Oh, thats right, one time he did this.. I had totally forgotten" and I often try to remember what he did and why I hate him so much.. so as not to forget in case he should come looking for me. It is strange I know.. but i guess it was a big part of my teenage years and maybe part of me remembering is a way of me telling myself how great I have it now grin