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  5. I'm tired of people asking me why I don't look like my baby

I'm tired of people asking me why I don't look like my baby Lock Rss

Hi there,

After recovering from some severe postnatal depression, I feel a bit overwhelmed tonight cause I constanty get asked, if my baby is my own. I don't think people understand it's recessive genes. I might be olive and brown skin, as is my partner, but we both have blonde haired, blued eyed mums. I get sooooo tired explaining myself...and to the point, I feel I have to be defensive...like "yes, this is my baby". So many people ask me, "why the blue eyes?....why the light hair?" It really overwhelmes me sometimes...it's tiresome. Does anyone else go through this. I'm feeling a little lonely at the moment.

thanks ahead to anyone who is listening.

Hi there,

After recovering from some severe postnatal depression, I feel a bit overwhelmed tonight cause I constanty get asked, if my baby is my own. I don't think people understand it's recessive genes. I might be olive and brown skin, as is my partner, but we both have blonde haired, blued eyed mums. I get sooooo tired explaining myself...and to the point, I feel I have to be defensive...like "yes, this is my baby". So many people ask me, "why the blue eyes?....why the light hair?" It really overwhelmes me sometimes...it's tiresome. Does anyone else go through this. I'm feeling a little lonely at the moment.

thanks ahead to anyone who is listening.


Im sorry you've had to go through that. sad

If it makes you feel any better, people are always making stupid comments to all new mums. I was forever being asked (and still do) why dd hasn't got much hair and if shes a boy or girl. So its a frustration that im sure is shared by most parents. People asks me who dd looks like too. I say "she looks like herself".

Big hug!




OOOHHH... INTERNET FIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CAPS LOCK ME TOO DEATH?
(Noddy's not fat ffs!)

I know how you feel to an extent. I never suffered from PND so I'm sure things don't affect me quite to the extent that things hurt you, but my little one is now 14 months and I still get the 'oh he looks nothing like you'. As a matter of fact, I had the 'Is the postman blonde?' question from a friend yesterday as neither my partner nor I are blonde. My grandfather was blue eyed, and my little brother is blonde and blue - but somehow, people think he's clearly not related to me...

You know, the most annoying comments come from my mil... who desperatley wants to see her son in our little boy. She constantly makes things up when she sees my son doing things - 'Oh he's just like when mark was a little boy!' 'Mark used to do that - he's like a mini-mark'... even with things like when my son eats his food with his fingers. Geeez - makes my blood boil - but I know it's just ridiculous and I'm sure deep down inside that I'm my sons mother (haha because I kinda remember the feeling of pushing him out - just a little bit! lol)


Gets right up my nose though. I just try my hardest to brush it off - take it with a pinch of salt - people are thoughtless and inconsiderate and they always will be. I have my mum and a few good friends that let me have a whinge on the phone to them when things get built up enough - and let me tell you - once it's out, I feel soooooo much better! lol

stay strong - you're his mummy and there isn't anything anyone can say that can change that FACT! xx
Hugs to you, I get "why don't your girls all look the same?" I told DH I was getting jack of it ... his reply? ... "tell them you are a human, not a photocopier." Try it, it works!!!! wink
I do love the above comment!!!
Its so true and appropriate!
People seem to do it all the time! I have olive skin and dark features and my DH comes from a family of light hair skin and eyes! Our DD got all my features of the dark skin, hair and eyes, but until recently looked like his side 100% It was rather frustrating to constantly hear that she doesnt look anything like me :/ But i like the photocopier remark, i think i may try that in future! Do people not realise that every child has 2 parents that contribute to the way that a baby looks!!








Hugs to you, I get "why don't your girls all look the same?" I told DH I was getting jack of it ... his reply? ... "tell them you are a human, not a photocopier." Try it, it works!!!! wink

I like this one!!!

It is hard. DS1 is brown eyed, olive skinned like me (but with DH's colour hair.) DS2 is blue eyed, light skin light haired. DS3 is a mix. So I always get looks when going out with DS1 and DS2, had a couple comments. What some people fail to realise is children have 2 parents, alas 2 sets of DNA. And some are just daft lol
I go through this as well with my DD. I have olive tanned skin, green eyes and dark brown hair. She is very fair, blonde hair and blue eyes. I get asked all the time about that. She looks like her dad, he is fair, he has red hair and blue eyes.

I think people are really forward these days to the point of being rude. I just ignore it now.

Hugs to u x
Oh that's such a shame for you. People can be so insensitive, and off-hand things strangers and friends say are so easy to take to heart when you're a mum. I find lots of things like this really hard to deal with.

Only recently I have started quipping back with equally rude things. I always get told DD has beautiful blue eyes and then there's always something like "but don't you and DH have brown eyes..." with snooty judgement. I like to joke back and shut them down, with something referring to knowing who I have and haven't had sex with or making a gory statement about labour and then saying "so yeah, pretty sure she's mine". Even if I just think of what I would say to people helps sometimes, even if I don't have the guts to say it!
My daughter has blue eyes and blonde hair. I am the complete opposite! My partner has lighter brown hair and green eyes.. Both sides of the family are a mixed bunch, so who's to say where she got what! Lol! Honestly i love it, that theres such diversity in my family!mostly people are always telling me she doesn't look like mine or that shes much more my dp then me... Most of the time I'm first to agree, even make a joke about it! Coz obviouslyI know she is..Every now and then it'll annoy me, and in that case, I just say...' well she's definitely mine... She came from my vagina!!' smile

Every now and then it'll annoy me, and in that case, I just say...' well she's definitely mine... She came from my vagina!!' smile


HAHA love it wink
I don't know why people get so stuck on who the baby looks like, I look at a young child or baby with their mother or father and just think wow you have a beautiful son/daughter/child/baby your right you don't know any background and there are recessive genes! I am encouraged today that if I keep saying to mothers they have a beautiful child that it might just brighten their day.

Me and my 2nd youngest brother (I have 3) both have blue eyes but nobody else does not from anywhere my parents can think of, I got the recessive blood type O+ and my hair is a totally different texture to everyone else's oh and I'm also the only girl. I am sure there are more.

Hope people stop commenting soon it must feel horrible.
This topic of conversation is always annoying... my side of the family insist that both our children look like me and other cousins or family members, and dhs side insist they look like dh and their side.

I've decided to stick to the one answer so as not to have to go through an entire conversation about it. I just say "because he/she looks just like her/himself, which is just fine with me. " it ends the conversation without having to say another word.

It used to get to me a lot, these days I just give that answer out and don't dwell on it. Children are such individuals and I've never understood why they 'have' to look like someone in particular!




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