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There are a lot any thing s that bother people. The thing that has become a nightmare for me is that I cannot give birth to a normal child (maybe). My last child was not normal. Even though I love him to bits but it takes great courage to be the mother of a disabled child. I want to hear about similar experiences. Has anyone in the same boat as me. The medical care is not very advanced here. I am not sure if my child is disabled due to my genetics or my DH's. :/ </3
Hi there! I hope you're doing better now. Firstly, I would say stop self blaming yourself. It is not necessary that your child was born with a disability because of your genetics! It could be due to the error in the composition of the DNA as well. Sometimes it also happens because of the malnutrition diet and some stress during the pregnancy. One of my aunt's when had her first baby, the baby was born with a disability. However, her second child was completely normal. Therefore it is no where written that if your first child is born with some disability, your second child will be disabled as well. Therefore, don't think negatively! Get yourself checked by a doctor and ask him/her about what should you be doing! You could also contact a doctor from outside where you live, where there are more advanced doctors and ask for professional help. Think positive! Do keep us updated.
Hi Dorothy, Would it be appropriate to assert here. That I hold the same fear that you're living as a reality. A child with disability. Birth by me. What would I do with such a human? I keep asking this question to myself. If I try not to keep the child with me. Other would shame me. If I do. I become a shame for myself. Those lifte time pangs of conscience. One thing I have noticed, though. That parents of a disabled do just fine. They're not ashamed. And their other children are healthy. Physically and mentally. So, you need to get that worry out of your head. That the fate could punish you more. (This might feel like a punishment from nature.) What's more is that, I would stay informed since day one. Whether I'm carrying a healthy baby or not. In fact, I have entrusted this fear with my friends and partner. And they jokingly suggest me options like Surrogacy where I have full chance of producing an extraordinary baby. In case, you don't know much about it. Check the following link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3wkbgaaXc2Xax...
dorothy110 wrote:
There are a lot any thing s that bother people. The thing that has become a nightmare for me is that I cannot give birth to a normal child (maybe). My last child was not normal. Even though I love him to bits but it takes great courage to be the mother of a disabled child. I want to hear about similar experiences. Has anyone in the same boat as me. The medical care is not very advanced here. I am not sure if my child is disabled due to my genetics or my DH's. :/ </3

Awww Darling! Well, You're such a strong lady. I know it's such a difficult situation to be in. Well, yeah! Sometimes, there are genetics faults. I think there are other ways. I think you should have surrogacy. I mean that would really help you to have a child who is of another woman. They have medical ways of having the genetics of a surrogate mother. Well, I think you should really go for it. By this you can have a normal. Although, your that child is also special. Anyway! I wish you luck! Don't worry! There are things in life you've to live with. Stay blessed xx
Hey there. I hope you're doing good. I'm really really sorry for your condition. It's such a horrible feeling not to have normal children. However, I know that children are s blessing. I've seen women cry over infertility. But the feeling of having disabled children is nothing less than infertility. It requires a strong will of the mother. You must be very strong that you went through this. You are an example of patience to every woman. You didn't write here about what type of illness you baby had? Then it would be more easy to tell what the real cause is. My cousin's friend also had a baby with some mental illness mainly due to lactic acid accumulation. She was so worried. I totally understand your pain. I hope that you stay strong during all this. Stay strong. Much love.
Hey there! Hope you're doing good. Genetics can cause an error in your child's DNA and that is something we all have to accept. However, technology is so advanced these days that one can opt for numerous methods that will alter the DNA of the baby. I am sure you're aware of the whole surrogacy process. This will ensure that your next child isn't abnormal.As the donor's eggs will be used and thus the DNA will be different. Do discuss the treatment with your doctor. As he has more knowledge on this topic. Also, are you sure that every child will be mentally ill? As that is quite a rare case. Since people do have one mentally ill child but rest are normal. Anyways, I hope you're able to have another child. All my warm prayers are with you. Best of luck!
Hey Dorothy. Hope you are well. Very sorry to hear about your child. Only you can understand the pain and struggle you have to go through. What has happened cannot be changed. But it can be avoided in future. You can choose other option in order to have a baby in future. You can go for surrogacy. The kind of surrogacy that offers egg donation too. That way, the chances of an abnormal child would be low. This usually happens if there is something wrong with your genes. You might be a carrier of the disability and you can pass it on to your children. The genes could be inactive in the carrier (you) but they are usually able to express themselves in the offspring. So it is better to avoid any risks in future. You can choose a surrogate for your self after making sure she has normal genes and isn't a carrier of any disease. Hope this helps you. Good luck with everything.
Hey Dorothy. I really hope you are doing well. Not everyone will understand your pain. What you are going through is very hard to imagine. You need to be strong in this situation. To avoid this situation the next time you could opt for some different method to have a child. Surrogacy is an option which is very common. Its reliable and many clinics offer good services. you should do your research about it. Your genes might be the cause behind it. In surrogacy, you could choose a surrogate mother who does not have this issue. This will make sure that the next child you have is normal and healthy. I hope this will help you and others. I wish you good luck. Keep us updated. Take care.
Dear Dorothy some fears are natural. They are born out of the past experiences or events that left a really bad mark on your life. Having a special child in your previous pregnancy must have been tormenting. This fear would always be with you whenever you will conceive. On the other hand, this does not mean that you will meet the same fate everytime you conceive. Chances of special children are also there in couples with no such past history. For your ease and comfort, I suggest you get yourself properly checked for your genetic structure. If you cannot have some extraordinary facilities in your country, there are several options in different parts of the world that might help you.
Hey there sweetie.stop self blaming yourself. It is not necessary that your child was born with a disability because of your genetics! It could be due to the error in the composition of the DNA as well. Sometimes it also happens because of the malnutrition diet and some stress during the pregnancy. One of my aunt's when had her first baby, the baby was born with a disability. However, her second child was completely normal. Therefore it is no where written that if your first child is born with some disability, your second child will be disabled as well. Therefore, don't think negatively! Get yourself checked by a doctor and ask him/her about what should you be doing! You could also contact a doctor from outside where you live, where there are more advanced doctors and ask for professional help. Think positive! Do keep us updated.
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