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Feeling Blue Lock Rss

I'm having a really blue day today. I'm back to being an insomniac...when I get up at 2ish for Ollies night feed I cant get back to sleep. Today I thought I would crawl into bed when he has his 3 hour mid day sleep...I spend an hour trying to settle myself, finally started drifting off and then some of hubbys blasted relos turned up, unannounched, bashing on the door. I was soooo upset I nearly bawled. I let them view Ollie, told them today wasnt a good day, and call next time and they can come for a coffee as well. I felt like slaming the door on them and telling them how rude they were.

I'm feeling really down in the dumps alot, and am scared I'm getting PND. I feel really helpless, worthless and totally overwhelmed 90% of the time. Instead of enjoying the family "support" I feel as though I'm being criticised or that they are crowding me.

When Ollie smiles it's all better...I love him more than anything, but I feel so miserable and tiered the rest of the time, its really hard. I have my Dr appointment tomorrow, but I know I wont be able to admit to her how I'm feeling. Ive experienced depression since I was a teenager, but cant talk to anyone (other than my hubby and online) about it....I feel like I'm failing my family if I admit to not being happy. Now I feel even worse cause I feel like I'm failing Oliver.

*Sigh* Tomorrow is another day....fresh and beautiful with no mistakes in it....just have to keep the chin up until then! RIGHT?!

Sorry for the gloom....just needed to get it all off my chest. Thank you for reading/listening

Kat - 23yo & Ollie - Born 18.04.06

I hope your feeling a little better now since yur hubby is probably home from work.
I have also suffered from depression/anxiety since I was 16 and I'm now 24. I have an 8 week old boy and a 4 yr old boy. I was fine with my first pregnancy but I had really bad anxiety during my second one which led to me bing a little depressed until I had him. Now I think the lack of sleep is gettng to me because I am starting to get very irritable again and my fears have all come back again which in turn makes me really depressed.

I have a few books I read which I recommend because if you don't want to talk to a doctor about it they are quite useful on bad days.

*Change your thinking by Sarah Edelman is a good one.

I am using that one at the moment and it helps a bit. I would speak to your midwife about how your feeling because they are really supportive.

Just keep looking at your gorgeous bubby and say to yourself " He is the reason i was put on this earth!"

Kids are wonderful creatures and I'm sure onbce Ollie drops that mid morning feed you will start to feel better! especially once his personality starts to come out once he gets older.

Hang in there.

I'm always here for a chat

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hi kat,

i;m 23 also and my baby girl was born 23/4/06. I know how you feel i find myself laying awake at night after feeds and think to myself she will wake up again soon i just know it. i dont want to go to sleep incase she wakes up. i often feel like a failure. so many of my and my partners family and friends judged us and said we weren't ready. now that i am feeling totally overwhelmed i am too ashamed to say anything to anyone. i dont want people to think i cant cope. a lot of my friends disappeared when they found out we were having a baby. i feel isolated. the only people i see or talk to are my parents my partners parents or our siblings. i feel alone. i just dont know who to talk to. it is so confusing because i love mia so much and i am so happy to have her and i love being a family.

Em QLD Mia 23/4/06

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