Premmie baby experience

Last May my daughter was born by caeser 6 weeks early and she was the size of a 29 wk old baby. Whilst we are all well and the actual delivery were fantastic I feel as though I am greiving for something. This is hard to explain and most people will say that its because I missed the natural birth but I really never had any intentions of going too natural . It was avoid pain at all costs. I was wondering if anyone else had similar experiences. Perhaps it is tied in to the fact that we almost lost her? I would love to hear from anyone else with views on the subject.

I also had o premmie baby in May last year she was four weeks early and was delivered by emergency c section. I only saw her briefly when she was born and I felt like I didnt have a baby. All the other mothers in post natal had babies and I had to go down to the nicu to see her, I found that to be the hardest thing and not being able to feed her myself. They were wonderful in the nursery but you cant help but feeling that you miss out on those first few precious hours of bonding. I look back now and am so grateful that I have her and hope that I can have another one with no complications . I know what you were feeling for awhile I felt the same way. Maybe you can have another baby and try for a natural birth. I hope this has helped.

I can totally relate to what you are feeling. In January this year my daughter was born at 27 weeks and 3 days gestation, but was only 650g and 32cm. She was born by emergency caesar and I was completely knocked out for it. When I woke up I didn't even know if she was alive, which was scary because I had a stillborn at 27 weeks for my first baby and an emergency caesar for my second, who is now 2 years old.
She is now almost 8 months old and is doing really well, but for those 3 months while she was in hospital I felt like there was no bond forming, like I was just visiting somebody else's baby. It is scary and difficult to deal with emotionally and nobody tells you that these things happen until it has already happened to you.

Hi Mums'

I hope things have gotton better for all of you and your babies are growing and smiling for you.

Thankyou for sharing your stories, it makes us lucky mums appreciate things more.

Keep us up to date!

Things are much better. I think I had a case of baby blues when she turned 1 because when she was a newborn I was too consumed with her being a prem, feeding, expressing, trying to get clothes, visits to the hospital etc.. to take time to really 'feel' what was going on. It very much became a case of automatic pilot.

Now that I have taken time to think about me I feel that the staff at hospital N.I.C.U's need to be made much more aware of the distress a premature baby places on new parents. I do not hesitate in saying that the staff were 'mostly' magnificent but now that I have been through the experience I know a lot of things I wish I had been told. To know that the things you are feeling are normal and that you aren't losing it or being stupid is so important to a new Mum, especially a first timer.

Most importantly my little girl is healthy, beautiful and full of spark. There is never a dull moment and regardless of the way she came into the world she is the most precious part of my life, as well as my husbands.

Hi Jenni,

Glad to hear things are going well for you. You sound a lot more cheerful and positive.

Its sad that alot of nurses and drs forget our emotions sometimes and just fix the job at hand.

Keep up the good work!

Tepe

. Hi Everyone. My little man was not born premie but ended up in the NICU as well. He was born by emergency caeser after a 10 1/2 hour labour. He didn't breath for the first 1 1/2 minutes and had to be resused twice. I saw him briefly as they pulled him out and they put his little head down near me for about 10 seconds before they whisked him away. I didn't get to see him until 6 hours after he was born and that was only because I insisted and threatened to get out of bed and drag myself down to the NICU if they didn't let me go. Though despite this I still consider myself very lucky. I got to hold him the next day and he was able to join me in my room after day 3. He is now a happy, healthy and extremely cheeky 17 month old and is the apple of his Daddy's and my eye. Our experience with the NICU and the hospital overall was a good one, they were a great support to Hubby who was spending nearly 24/7 at the hospital caring for our son and I. They even moved us into what they call the family room for the last 2 nights of our 5 day stay so that we could have some time together as a family knowing that they were there to help. Just in case people are wondering no I wasn’t a private patient just a really lucky public patient. Though like most of you I also feel like I am grieving for something, maybe it is because I don't feel that I got to bond with my baby from the start or it is because despite a gut instinct that told me I would end up having a ceaser I was hoping to have a natural birth. I know one thing I am scared of falling pregnant again which makes things tough at times as hubby and I do want to have more children. I keep telling everyone that we are putting of trying for another baby because we are moving at the end of the year, financial reasons and that I want to enjoy our little monkey for a bit longer. All of theses reasons are true but I think if I am honest with myself my biggest reason is fear, fear that things are going to go wrong again. Is there away that those of us who feel like this can get over it or will we just have to bite the bullet and try again whilst living with this fear? Thanks to all who have sent there experiences in as it has made me realise I am not alone in my feelings and it has made me face them a bit better.

Piglet
My husband and I are also too scared to have another baby. We tried for a few years to get pregnant suffered a miscarriage then when I was pregnant I vomitted for the first 14 weeks. There was a few good months and then baby stopped growing so went completely into stress mode. The pressure it was putting on me was giving me migraines and I was in hospital on pethidene this was one of the reasons she was delivered 6 weeks early.

So then the hospital stint begins. I stayed in for ten days even though I was fine after the caeser. In all that time she was never allowed to come to my room. Then for the following 5 weeks I expressed milk and delivered it to her at the hospital for 4 hourly feeds. It almost seemed as though she wasn't ours. When we eventually took her home we were so worried about her weight that we never relaxed. Luckily a change to formula was a great thing allowing me to give up expressing and she loved it and just took off weight wise.

The whole 3-4 year experience was not a good one. Our baby girl however, is magnificent in every way. Even though at 15months she's the size of a 9 mnth old developmentally she is keeping up with her age. It's quite hilarious to see such a tiny tot running around. This however is not enought to make us go back for another. Maybe one day but at this stage just thinking about having another premmie just freaks me out. I'm not sure I am strong enough to go through it again, especially with a toddler to look after. I'm sure people do go back and have totally different experiences but no one can know.

Luckily we feel no pull to have another baby and funnily enough our parents aren't all that keen to see us go through that again. So we are happy with the little miracle we have already. Let me know if you find anything that changes your mind.

Hi Everyone,
I feel so lucky to have had the experiences I've had compared to yours. I started with an 8lb 9oz baby and didn't know if I wanted another as I was so in awe of her and totally hated the birthing experience. My mother then sat me down and talked to me about her experiences growing up as an only child and basically guilted me into another pregnancy. I decided that if I was going to do it that I wanted my children within 2yrs of each other.
The first time round it took us 8mths to fall pregnant but only 1mth the second time. The pregnancies were very different and I spent the first 12 wks suffering from extreme guilt and morning sickness. I found it hard to get over the fact I couldn't devote myself to my eldest as I wanted to sleep all day the first trimester and when I wasn't asleep, I wanted to throw up. Once I got to the second trimester I was thankful that I had fallen pregnant so easily and that I'd have 'two winter babies'. By the time the third trimester hit, I felt sorry for my eldest again as I was just too big to play with her and it took a crane to lift me up off the floor.
Finally another precious angel came into our lives but she needed 5 people to assist me in getting her out naturally. She was wedged by her shoulder and I had the paed. on one leg, a midwife on the other, another midwife pushing down on my fundus, my husband pushing me from behind and the obstetrician doing his bit in the middle. It was all rather scarey at the time and I wasn't able to see her for 1/2 hr as the paed. & midwife tried to get her breathing comfortably. We were finally able to take her up to our room but complications set in and she spent the next 5 days in nicu on an antibiotic drip under the lights. It was rather interesting that at 10lb 11 1/2oz, she was bigger than the other 2 babies in there combined. She had a great deal of difficulty regulating her breathing due to having a wet lung and an enlarged heart (from the stress). To this day we still don't know where the infection came from as I was cleared.
It took 6wks before she would begin to breathe normally and by that stage we knew something else was wrong and discovered she had reflux.
I think that if I'd had this experience with my first I would have waited much longer to have a second, if any. I can totally understand how you feel. I had my eldest in my room from day one but I felt empty and alone this time as I wasn't able to have my second in with me. Another sad fact was that as she was in nicu and visitors weren't allowed in, only one of my friends bothered to come and visit me. I was just so alone but thankfully my mum, sister and husband were wonderful caring for our eldest and making the daily trips to visit. She's now 14wks old and I feel that something is still missing although I naturally love her dearly.
On a brighter note, I was born 6wks premmie and my twin sister and I now are no different to anyone else.
I wish you the very best of love and fun with your precious gifts.
Peta

Dont let the fear of having another premmie baby stop you from having any more children as my first was 6 weeks early and spent 3.5 weeks in special care without me which was very hard. She was 4 pound 8 born. She is now 4.5 yrs old and taller than most kids her age and she is gorgeous.

My second daughter was born 3 days OVERDUE and weighed 8 pound 9 ounces. A big difference.

As you can see I have experienced both sides and have two very beautiful daughters for it. I was hesitant to fall pregnant again but thought if it had to happen twice it was a small price to pay for another wonderful child.

All the best for the future.

Hi, I posted the original premmie baby message and have really appreciated hearing other peoples stories and views.

Recently my daughter and I have both been sick and I have to say again "How do people handle more than one baby?"
Regardless of the fear I hold still about having another premmie I am not sure how people manage with two babies when they are sick, or one(both) of their children is.

My hat goes off to those who are really sick and those who spend their lives looking after sick children, I'm not sure how you do it.

I suffer from migraines which wipe me out for a few days a month but luckily my husband owns his own business and can look after our daughter. I simply could not cater for her basic needs (I usually have pethidene which knocks me out) if he wasn't there and we have no family living near us.

Sometimes I think that I protest too much about having a second baby, but then people assume you will want to and look at you funny when you say you don't.

Life with one baby has been such a learning curve, a very enjoyable one don't get me wrong, but sometimes I feel as though I simply couldn't handle any more. Do other people ever feel the same?

Just would like to say that having a baby at 30 odd weeks is early but we just had our first baby 2 and 1/2 weeks ago and she was 26 weeks....just weighing a tiny 568grams....31.5 cm long.. yes she was tiny and still is, we know we have a long road ahead of us, she is doing well but like any prem baby they do have bad days, our bub is on 7 mills of milk every 2 hrs and was put on cpap like 2 days after she was born. to my surprise she was on cpap so early due to only having one injectionof steriods. Today she is weighing 636grams and is off cpap for 2hrs every 12 if she can handle it..its a big effort for them to breathe on their own...my husband and i hadnt herd of prem babies and when we went in for an emegacy cesar, we throught she wouldnt surive. To much hard work and amazement the team in nicu are wonderful.
THERE IS HOPE AT 26 WEEKS!