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Resuming intimacy after baby Lock Rss

I feel really scared of resuming sex after having our bub.

I had a really long and painful labour (42 hours), ending in emergency ventouse and a huge episiotomy.

Although the stitches seem to have healed well (I have my dr appointment tomorrow) I feel really scared and aprehensive.

My hubby is a wonderful gentle man and I know he wont hurt me, and that if I was uncomfortable he would stop...but I still feel scared that it wont be the same.

I'm also terrifed of getting pregnant again. I'm not on the pill because it makes me feel depressed at the best of times (and I'm struggling a bit as is..) and I know that nothing is foolproof....

Does anyone else feel like this....if yes, how do you cope?

Kat - 23yo & Ollie - Born 18.04.06

perhaps if you feel this way youre not ready for it just yet. i felt similarly to you; i was concerned it wouldnt feel the same for one or both of us, and i was also apprehensive. i had a small episiotomy and it healed really quick but still - theres been a lot going on down there hasnt there! if you are so concerned perhaps you could try just hugging and kissing. if you feel like doing more do and if you dont dont, but at least you can still feel intimate. it maybe that the longer you miss any form of closeness the harder it is to restart - ? i feel like sometimes you can get out of the habit of being close and it takes more effort. we resumed 'full' intimacy when bub was around 8 weeks old, but that was more to do with the fact that he started sleeping through so i didnt feel so exhausted.
perhaps you are feeling a little depressed, your labour sounds like it was a tough experience. a good friend of mine suffered pnd with her first baby, and when she became pregnant a couple of years later she saw a counsellor when she was around 7 months pregnant to try and ward it off. the counsellor told her that a healthy sex life is indicative of good mental health and well being. perhaps with all you have gone through with stitches and giving birth etc, plus feeling down or depressed, it may be that you arent ready just yet, but dont lose that closeness. that will help you through this time. maybe speak with your doc at your checkup, and mention your worries over birth control too. best of luck xxxx

first timer to jay 230206, adelaide

I felt the same way I had a 9 pound baby and 16hrs of labour with suction, my hubby was wonderful for the few weeks or so, then he started asking me if he thought I was ready. We just used to lay next to each other and hug to bring back the feeling of being intimate with each other. I was really scared that it would hurt (I stoped bleeding after 5 weeks). At 6 weeks we tried and we took it very very slowly. I suggest you try a silimar thing I didnt feel very attractive at all after I had my little girl but laying near next to my hubby made me feel a little more attractive.

mum of charlette 8 weeks old

Mum of Charlette born 21.4.06

Hi Kat
Yep, sounds familiar..... I was induced and Tiana arrived the next day via forceps. I also tore and had an episiotomy. She's 3 months today, and I can still feel my stitches and it still feels sore.

The last thing on my mind is intimacy let alone thinking of resuming sex. Hopefully once the stitches decide to heel we might try slowly.

I am worried because, I don't even feel like trying. It doesn't interest me.... luckily hubby is really understanding, he's seen the pain I've gone through and doesn't pressure me. I don't want it to feel like it's a chore.

On another note, what did you do to help your stitches heal so quickly? Should I be worried?

First Born - Tiana, 14.04.06

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