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Help I feel i'm house bound!!! Lock Rss

Hi everyone

I have a 3.5 month year old daughter Tahnee-Jai (TJ) and I avoid going out as much as I can because everytime I do, it's a nightmare. I've even contimplated stopping going to my mothers group every Tuesday because everytime I'm there she's cries. Meanwhile all the other mothers seem to have angel babies! Today I went to mothers group and it started at 10am. I fed her at home around 0830am then at 9am left her to play while I got myself ready. I heard her eventually start getting cranky in which usually I would've put her to bed at that point, but knowing I'd be leaving soon I kept her up.

When I got there she was a sleep in the car, so I got her up and she was very wrestless in there ( I always get really embarrased because I feel like people think I have created a sooky unsettled baby). I hardly even listened to what the nurse what talking about today because I was too busy trying to keep her quiet. So i gave in about 10:40 and put her on the breast again, and she fell a sleep after about 5 minutes, then woke up about 20 minutes later and was quite happy.

Left to go home at about midday, and when I got her home she was soooo over tired and trying to get her to sleep was a bit of an issue she screamed BUT eventually I got her to sleep.

When I stay at home everything seems to go to plan with her "routine" but I dread going out.

Anyone have any suggestions or shoudl I just accept the fact that she is that kind of baby?

Why does everyone else seem to have babies that are happy to lay on a rug in front of them for a couple of hours on end without a peep and TJ seems like she has constantly has to be either "eating", "playing (for about 20 min), or "sleeping" and never really happy if that routine is disrupted?

p.s - sorry for the long post! NEEDED TO WHINGE WITH SELF PITTY!

hi
i had the same prob with my first! it was esecially hard at others group cause ash was very vocal and i was young so i felt i was constatly looked down on. i have learnt to take them out as soon as they wake. whenD is awake I feed him and leave. I try in vain to keep him awake in thecar on the way home but it doesnt always work. Perhaps on the day u go to mothers group, u could move her routine a little early, so she gets up earlier, has a quick nap before goin and a shirt one when she gets home? or leave later or earlier? i dont know..

Ashton 13/8/04, dylan 27/8/05, #3 due 22/9/07

My little man is the same. we have a great routine going but if I have to go out when he's meant to be asleep it's hit and miss with what mood he's going to be in. He seems to get very bored quickly and wants to be entertained constantly. I was also going to a mothers group for the past couple weeks and it starts at 10 am but for nearly a week now Jeb's been sleeping in to 7-7:30 so is going down for his morning sleep at 9-9:30. Yesterday I didn't even bother go to the mothers group as I didn't see the point in waking Jeb up and have to entertain him while I was there and not really get to hear anything because of it. I really would have liked to have gone but it's not worth the hassle as far I'm concerned. We went out shopping when he woke up later and it was a good day in the end. I think both Jeb and I are starting to go a bit stir crazy by being at home so much so I'm trying to work a walk or visit to friends places in the afternoon. I know I'm probably not helping in any way but I just thought I'd let you know that you're not alone in this case. If I do have to go out but I just try and push his routine forward a bit....works sometimes. Anyway good luck smile
Hi there,

My little boy is almost 4 months old and we are just starting to enjoy going out and about now, as he can be awake for a few hours without crying! My experience is that with age they can improve so that's something to hold onto and look forward to.

If you are experiencing ongoing issues with TJ's sleeping patterns you can ask your Maternal Health Nurse to direct you to a Mother Baby Unit. The one in Rosebud is FANTASTIC! I went there a month ago and they really put Connor into place. It's been sheer hard work sticking to a routine and being consistent but what they taught us has been an enormous help.

I have changed a bit of what they taught us, but a MBU (mother baby unit) gives you the tools to experiment with to get your baby to sleep. They follow the 'sleep, eat, play' method and when you learn how to put that into practice properly it really does work.

I definitely ONLY leave the house straight after a feed so you get more out of your outing as a 3-4 month old is awake for about 1.5 hours from the beginning of a feed then due for another sleep.

The key to enjoyable outings is to be ORGANISED! I plan my days according to his first settle of the day and how much sleep he has. If I'm out and he is well behaved and sleeps in the pram (I wrap him, give him his dummy and cover the pram so he knows it's sleep time) I can stay out a little longer, then I try to be home when he is due to wake so I can get him into his cot for his next sleep. They have 40 min sleep cycles (most common cycle length) and when you have an understanding of sleep cycles you can plan things a lot easier and be successful.

If TJ shows tired signs you have a 5-10min time frame to get her to bed in order for an easier settle. After this they get 'over tired' and are quite difficult to settle.

In saying all this, it's up to your baby at the end of the day. All babies are different and unique so what may work for one may not work for the other. Although most babies require a nice routine so they feel safe, secure and know what's expected of them. Learn the basics then fine tune them for your baby, and even then they change all the time so I'm forever guessing and trying new things to make him sleep.

I just hope my second baby is easier than Connor as he has been nothing but hard yakka! It's nice to read other stories that reflect my life to date so I don't feel so alone. Also in Hospital I was diagnosed with the first stages of Post Natal Depression so I'm on medication for that.

I hope my long babbling reply has helped some. I have so much to say so it's been hard to condense it.

Michelle,Connor,Jai 2/7/08

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