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Crying to sleep. Lock Rss


Can anyone tell me what age you should start controlling crying with your baby?

We have friends who started control crying with their bub at 3 weeks. They would let him cry himself to sleep, which they said took anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour.

Can anyone tell us how they get their babies to sleep, we have a 4 1/2 week old bub.

Many thanks

Mum of Charlie 02.12.05

Depends what you mean by "crying"?
I let my DD get herself off to sleep from day 1. She would "grizzle" for usually 15mins and up to an hour. Grizzling was basically a cry out that lasted about 30secs or so and she would do that on and off every 5 mins. Never cried unless she needed burping/rolled over/pooped etc. We also used a dummy after a week or two.

Most of the time now she will go off to sleep without a peep. Sometimes she will grizzle a bit more but will only "cry" if she needs a burp, or is over tired.

I do not believe in letting babies scream themselves to sleep. After doing a bit of reading I now agree that babies need to learn to go to sleep. WHen they are in the womb they have to rocking motion and heartbeat to put them to sleep but when they get out they don't have that anymore. They then get tired and don't know that if they wait quietly (like we all do now we are older) that they will eventually fall asleep by themselves.

I recommend the Baby Whisperer or the settling techniques on this site for tips on how to teach your baby to put themselves to sleep.

Hi, When our baby was 3 weeks old we went to a settling class that was put on through the clinic which I recommend if you have one available to you.

I tried it when she was 3 weeks and found it did not work.. she cried and carried on so much that I was upset too!

We tried again at about 5 weeks and found that it took only a few goes and about 20 mins max for her to settle. Now she is 8 weeks old and majority of the time she will go to sleep without too much fuss.

I have found that she sleeps longer too this way as she is not relying on me to put her back to sleep when she wakes.

My 8 week old baby sleeps for about 7 hours straight at night so it does work!

My sister-in-law got into the habit of patting her child to sleep each time which was a novelty for her and now she has a 20 month old which will not sleep without it!!!

Perserverance is the key. It seems cruel at first I know.. but it pays off.

Do whatever u are comfortable with
A lot of he experts out there on baby sleep recommend that the controlled crying metod of teaching baby to sleep independantly should not be applied to babies under 6 mths old. Under 6 mths they say never to leave the baby to cry itself to sleep but to always be by their side and use settling techniques. Some mums vary a little to this and leave baby to cry it out for a few mins before starting the settling. Even with the 6 mths to 12mths controlled comforting they say NEVER to leave a baby to cry for more than 10 mins by itself. I am no doctor but I can only imagine what horror your friend's baby is being subject to though I'm sure with the best intentions.
Look up the thread that I started "Jeb's mum... help" and read what Kel did. Also you may want to but the DVD/book "It's time to sleep" available on the Huggies site.
If my baby is really unsettled I use 'womb noise' to quieten her down. Try it, it works! My baby has a blocked nose at the mo but once she is well I'm going to try the method suggested by Jeb's mum.
Oh, I use the baby monitor (turn on the baby's unit without the parent's unit on to get a crackle noise or you can turn on vacuum cleaner or have a radio on untuned) for womb noise.
If all else fails there are family centres that you can ring. There is a bit of a wait but it is like a hospital where they admit and tag you, you stay for a few days and there are trained nurses to be with you night and day to guide you through on helping baby to sleep. If you are in Melb there are a few centres, one being O'Connells Family Centre in Mont Albert but I'm sure there a such centres in all states. The centre I mentioned is all covered by Medicare so there is no cost as far as I'm aware.

Mum to Aidan 20 Jan 04 and Georgia 10 Nov 05

Can you tell us some of the things that you have tried? Do you use or want/not to use a dummy? Do you wrap/swaddle? Is there anything that has worked so far that you know? Gives us an idea about what sort of routine or rough guide to what your days and nights are like. Do you breastfeed? I know I'm asking a lot of questions but the one thing I have found is that if you are trying to "fix" a problem you have to start with knowing what your working with (if you know what I mean?)
I would love to help with suggesting some of the things that have worked for me. I tried control crying and I didn't really like it. I found a routine and teaching bub to sleep, the best way for us. smile
Your first post made ME nearly cry...! That is so young for such a little person to have to go through that.

I came into parenting knowing and expecting that I would not get a full night's sleep for a long time - I figured at least 12mths.

'Western' society has this idea that 'baby must sleep by themself, must sleep through asap'... why? says who? is it for the benefit of the baby or the parents?
Non-western cultures co-sleep, baby wear and so on and have been doing so for years.

Little babies need comfort, they need to know we are there.
explains it a whole lot better than I can.

*sigh* I know it's each to their own but the thought of a babe so little crying themselves to sleep for up to an HOUR makes me feel ill...
best of luck, I hope you find something that works for you.

PS FWIW - we did briefly do it w DD until I decided that my gut was telling me that despite EVERYONE saying it was the way to go, that for us it most definately was not. Never did w DS1 or DS2.
None of them have sleep issues from co-sleeping/rocking/comfort sucking to sleep - and they all learnt to fall asleep by themselves when they were ready. None of them were 'spoilt' by having our arms around them as they fell asleep.
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