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  5. Controlled Comforting/Crying under 6 Months

Controlled Comforting/Crying under 6 Months Lock Rss


I'm interested if anyone else has tried this technique on their baby under 6 months?

I found out about one for babies 8 weeks to 20 weeks. The baby is only left on their own to grizzle/cry for 2 minutes at a time not the 10 minutes for older babies. If the crying gets more then you go in earlier.

Olivia was so hard to settle. We'd rock, push, sing, whatever worked for hours only to have her wake up after 10 or 20 minutes so she was tired and cranky all day long. I won't even talk about how bad the nights were.

Before trying this, I talked about it to my Doctor (who has young children of her own) and my SIL (who is a midwife). It took about 2 days of using this technique before it worked and she could settle herself to sleep.

We can now put her into her cot when she's tired and she will usually put herself to sleep. Occasionally she will cry for a little bit and then go to sleep. If she wakes after a short time she's fine to go back to sleep then as well.

Olivia is now a much happier baby. During the day she has a couple of good long sleeps each followed by a yummy bottle of milk and then we play together. Life is good.

I'm interested if anyone else has tried this on a younger baby because yesterday at my first "First Parents Group" I was virtually told that I was a cruel mother for doing this to her.

I don't think I would have been able to use this technique when she was older. I wouldn't have had the heart to leave her to cry for 10 minutes. I also think that as she is so young there is much less chance of her remembering what we did to teach her.

HI there

I was looking into doing this as well with my daughter(nearly 4months), but decided against it.
I dont think its recommended for babies under 6months because they are too young to learn from it.Also,when they are sick(with a cold for example) it all tends to go out the window because you run to them the minute they cry.
I am not really for or against it, but i dont think that i could do it when it came down to it.
On the other hand i do know people who swear by it and say it has really helped.
Hi Lara,

Thanks for your reply. We only tried this after all else had failed. We decided that we were not going to get into the habit of driving her around the block or rocking her for hours or other things like that.

It was a pretty hard couple of days. Before we started we made sure she was well and we did it on the weekend while my husband and I were both home to support each other.

I understand that it doesn't work for everyone but thankfully it did for us. I also think that it was easier with her being so young. I think an older baby would be more alert and fight it more. I do disagree with "the experts" saying that younger babies can't learn from it. Olivia did and from what I've heard and read it's very effective with younger babies.

Olivia is currently either going through some teething pain (I was an early teether too) or she has a cold. She is cranky, and irritable but is still going down and settling herself well at night and for her daytime naps and sleeping well.

I would recommend this technique to anyone with a baby that can't settle. However before doing it, make sure you read up on it and know exactly how to do it and what your in for. If you don't think you can do it, don't!


I have recently done a week stay for sleeping and settling for my baby. I was having major difficulties and decided that I needed help to rectify the problem. I visited Riverton in Brisbane and they recommend 5 minutes out of the room maximum and you comfort your baby (which ever way works for your baby) until quiet and then leave the room. My baby was the exception for the week stay and we did control crying for 45mins (he is 12weeks) and then we adbandorned if he did not settle. We had to basically reprogram his sleeping and feeding pattern. It was very emotionally draining and when all else failed this was my last resort. I understand what you went through and it is nobody's place to tell you that you are a cruel mother. I bet that those mothers at your mothers group never had your problem to start with and if the shoe was on the other foot they would do exactly the same as you!

Best wishes

Nae, Qld, SAHM with DD 7yrs, DS 5yrs & DD 22mths


my 8 week old is so alert and ready to see the world that even when he is tired he fights going to sleep. i usually put him in his bed at the very frst signs of tiredness, he does cry, but i leave him to do that while i go have a cigarette or something, then i go back in if he his still crying. i either give him his dummy or rock the bassinette till he goes to sleep. but most of the time he cries himself to sleep. he usually has sleeps of 2-4 hours during the day and at night he sleeps more than 5 hours.

i know it is hard to leave a baby crying, it does seem cruel..but it does teach them to put themselves to sleep.
plus thomas has a cold at the moment so he is extra grizzly.
sometimes this doesnt work at all..if there are anymore suggestions i would love to hear them.

sarah (20), damian (20), thomas (5wks) Auckland NZ


It's nice to hear that other's are also having success with this technique. It is very draining but once bub's has learnt to put him/herself to sleep I think it's much better for them as well as Mum and Dad.

We now put Olivia down for the night at about 7pm (she gets sleepy early) and don't hear from her till about 6.30 the next morning. She does wake during the night sometimes but now puts herself back to sleep.

Goodluck with your bub and sleeping.

Hi Bangus

I was wondering where you got the information on the controlled crying for younger babies? My girl is just getting worse and worse with her sleep so i am willing to give it a go! Is the longest time i should let her cry 2 minutes.?Also, at night what happens with their feeds? Do you still feed them when they cry? Does that confuse them?
Thanks, any info appreciated!!
Hi Lara,

If your happy to give me your email address I'll type up (scanner is out of action) the article and email it to you.

Rather than put your address on here you can email it to [email protected] (this is an address I use to put on websites like this). I'll email you back from my good email.

This post has been edited by the moderator.
I am only trying this as i am at my wits end. I would never let my baby cry for more than a minute or 2. The problem is that she wont even be rocked to sleep anymore so i really dont know what to do.I am so sleep deprived im starting to feel depressed. I love my baby to bits, but i need to get some sleep so that i can care for her properly.
Hi Lara,

I tried to email you that info but it failed saying your mail box quota was exceeded.

Will try to send again soon.


And here I was thinking that this forum was a way for us parents to help each other out with advise and ideas in our times of need.

Constructive critisism is one thing but being downright nasty is just not on.

I would never think to leave a response like that to anyone.

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