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Controlled Comforting/Crying under 6 Months Rss

This post has been edited by the moderator.
This post has been edited by the moderator.
Hi Toni,

Thankyou for clearing that up. Unfortunately (and no offense is intended here) I think you may have missed the actual topic being discussed here. The problem is not a screaming baby as such, it's the fact that our babies cannot or will not sleep and are therefore screaming because they are overtired.

If my baby is screaming because she is tired, she obviously needs to sleep, not play. That is where this technique comes in. It is to teach her to settle herself so that when she is tired she can go to sleep and doesn't end up screaming.

I did not do this on the spur of the moment. After many weeks of sleepless nights and hellish days, I had no other choice. Yes I did discuss this problem with Maternal Health and my doctor as well as family, friends and even complete strangers. All of their ideas where good but for us they did not work.

I am sure that "Lovely Lara" has also been through all of this if she too has reached the point that she needs to try this technique as well.

However thankyou for your input.

HI Bangus and Tonipie

Sorry, i didnt mean to cause any tension between anyone...
I have decided that i will try my own version of self settling. At the moment Taylas sleep habits are so bad that the only way she will sleep is in the car- and even then that is only for about 20 mins.
I kind of blame myself for it all, as i never taught her how to sleep by herself. For the first 3 months she had bad colic and would just scream and scream for hours on end until she just fell asleep from all the exhaustion.She also has silent reflux which makes her really hard to settle.The reflux is under control at the moment, i think she just really needs to know how to go to sleep by herself and things will get so much better. Lately she will not even let me rock her to sleep in my arms, there is nothing i can do to console her. She is constantly tired during the day and everyone in the house is miserable. I realize this is a major problem, and if this method of controlled crying does not make any improvement i will have to book into a sleep school.
Anyway, on a happier note i did get Tayla to sleep for an hour and 20 minutes today. I layed next to her in my bed and stroked her forehead until she fell asleep.She did scream and scream but eventually realized that i was there to comfort her and fell asleep. This is a huge step for her, and in a few days i will try this while she is in her cot... and hopefully it will have the same effect.
Also, i was reading an article in a Parents magazine which was explaining the different cries of babies.Apparently they dont always "cry" when you try the controlled crying approach( as in emotional crying), but rather are "yelling" at you because they are angry with themselves because they cant go to sleep. It is hard for me to tell which cries are which!, but if they cry with tears then that is obviously emotional. I will keep you both updated as to how we are doing. Thanks Bangus for sending me the article
This post has been edited by the moderator.
Hi Toni,

I was just reading the posts and we are having the same problem with our little one and are thinking trying the same settling techniques as Bri. We have also tried everything and are at wits end.

I have read your response to the posts and obviously you have never been in this situation. You are fortunate to have such a good sleeper.

I think as mothers we should all support each other and not judge other mums on what works best for their child.

I am sure we all love our little ones more than anything else in the world but at the end of the day if some of us can't sleep then no one will be looking after them.

P.S. Bri, can you email me a copy of that article please,

Hope everything is going well with Olivia.



Michael, Vic, Born 11-12-03

Hi Renn and MaryB,

Renn, Just wondering how you and bub's are going with the sleeping now? Hope the sleep clinic was able to help you.

MaryB, I've just email that info to you, If you decide to give it a try, Good luck and let us know how you go.

Hi Bangus (Bri)

Well i have been doing the controlled comforting since last friday and so far things are not that much better(unfortunately). I must admit that i maybe have not been doing it properly though.I dont actually leave the room when she cries, as she gets quite hysterical.Most of the time i have to put her in bed with me and stroke her forehead until she goes to sleep(even this can take half an hour). I also put some white noise on(detune the radio) and that helps a bit. I must have a really hard baby to settle on my hands!
Did Olivia show major improvement after 2 days?
Its just so hard, i dont know if i can do this much longer. I admit that i am getting very tired of rocking though(she is getting heavier and heavier) and i dont know if my back can take it much longer.
Please tell me it will get better??!!!
Hi again
Maybe i should just do it in the cot and not my bed as to avoid another week of controlled comforting??

Hi Lara,

We had real progress within 2 days.

To do the Controlled Comforting, we swaddled Olivia and put her in her cot in her own room. When we left the room for the 2 minutes we closed the door so she knew we meant business. The first couple of times were very hard but it got better so we persevered.

Olivia has been in her cot in her own room from the begining so this was familiar to her, maybe that helped.

Not sure what else I can tell you. I really hope things get better for you soon.


Hi Lara

I used comfort settling with my son - although I didn't usually leave the room either. He was in a bassinette which was on wheels so sometimes I used to rock it back and forth to save my back smile . If stroking your daughter's forehead works keep doing it. When the nurse was explaining comfort settling to our mother's group she said it usually does take half an hour for babies to fall asleep, and also that it can take 3 or 4 days for them to learn to self settle, some learn quicker and others take a bit longer. I think in one of your earlier posts you mentioned that it was sometimes hard to read her sleep signs and as a result she ends up overtired and harder to settle. That used to happen to me in the early weeks and once they are past that 'just tired' point it can be really hard to get them settled and it becomes a vicious cycle for the day, usually by the time my son was grizzly and rubbing his eyes he was way past it. What helped me was a guide to how much sleep babies need by Karitane (a sleep clinic), it outlines how much 'up' and 'down' time babies need at different ages. So I started sticking to that in relation to the 'up time' but my son never slept as long as they suggested - he's never been much of a day sleeper. Soon it was easier to read his tired signs and therefore much easier for him to settle. Before long all I had to do was wrap him and put him to bed and he happily went off to sleep. Every now and then he goes through unsettled periods just like all babies do and I just go back to the comfort settling techniques and he soon settles again. Sorry this is such a long post - I didn't intend for it to be. If you are interested Karitane has a website with the sleep needs guide and also the comfort settling techniques:

I hope this helps
Jasmine smile
Hi Bri

I have been trying it in the cot today. She has gone off to sleep by herself today, but only for 20 mins.I will just keep at it and hopefully by the end of the week will get heaps better.
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