In the early weeks/months with DS2 it was by any means necessary which included, but was not always limited to feeding/rocking to sleep, holding/carrying around while sleeping, having him in our bed. The one thing it didn't involve was being left to cry, not even in "protest". By the time he was 5.5 months old he refused to settle in our bed, by the time he was 5 months old he had consistently stopped being fed/rocked to sleep though this did continue when he needed it until he was 12 months when he never needed feeding/rocking to sleep even when ill. He stopped falling asleep when being carried around when he was about 6 months old; he did those all on his own when he was ready without tears. I asked myself why a baby who has been rocked to sleep and had my heartbeat as a lullaby for 9 months should all of a sudden be expected to get himself off to sleep.
She's still coming to grips with being in the world, you can't "spoil" her by helping her and in fact I think that because I helped DS2, it meant that he had the ability to know what he needed when he needed it and when he didn't need it anymore he stopped doing it. He now happily "self settles" and he got there without the tears and angst that so often seems to be associated with "teaching" them how.