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We made a big mistake Lock Rss

Hi Everyone
I was wondering if anyone can help me fix this mistake that my partner and I made. We live in a very cold house, in a ver cold town. When we first brought my son home from the hospital, he had a sniffle, so we moved our bed into the loungeroom, in front of the fireplace. But now he is 6 weeks old, and still sleeps with us!! Big mistake I know - and I have been putiing him in his bassinette, and he sleeps in there for a few hours, and then screams until he is in our bed. Its the only way any of us get any sleep!! Does anyone know how I can break this pattern? I really need to get him in his own bed

Marti, NSW, Baby Boy born on 17th July 2003

Hi Marti, I had a simular problem to you and thought my baby was just throwing hissy fits. Then I found out at 6 weeks of age he was uncapable of expressing angry. Separation anxiety doesnt show its ugly head until around 3 months of age. We thought he just wanted to sleep with us but it turned out due to his reflux he was wanting to sleep on us as he was unable to lie flat as this would increase his pain. He used to sort of curl up on his stomach, knees bent, sitting up and sleep on us. We had to hold him when he slept or he would wake up and scream. This was the only way he would sleep for months. I remember my mum asking one day where he was and I had to actually show her he was curled up on my stomach in a little ball. I used to call him the koala. It sounds to me like you are having a big problem with reflux. I read in another post you mention your baby does have this. You have probably read the constant post re chiropractor. You can try to raise up one end of the bed so the baby is not lieing flat. You even need to do this to the change table or use a pillow under their head. You could try letting them sleep on their stomach. This is hard as the SIDS people say this is a big NO NO. We used to lie our son on a child fold out foam seat come bed. He used to lie half on the bed and half on the floor but he would sleep on his stomach. This meant he was not flat. We used to make sure his head was on the side with no blankets or sheets under him to breath in. I used to watch him like a hawk and put my hand on his back to be sure he was breathing. I was told once he was asleep to just roll him over but this did not work for me as this would straightening him up and make him flat which caused the pain. The other thing about sleeping on their stomach they can curl their legs up under themself like in a fetus position. We also tried a hot pack on his tummy which did seem to help. We also gave him a dummy as the sucking eased the pain. We found the best way to get sleep was for us to leave him in our bed so when he would cry we could just adjust his dummy and usually he would go straight back to sleep. He started to see a chiro around 10 weeks so once he was 12 weeks of age we made him go into his cot. We didnt have any problems except when his dummy would come out I used to get up 3 - 4 times a night to find it and put it back in his mouth. In the end I bought about 10 dummies and would just get the next one and stick it in his mouth. I use to gather them all up in the morning. My son was on Zantac until around 8 months of age. I knew when he needed an increase in dosage as his reflux would flair up again. As he grew he needed a bigger dose. I have read in this post that Zantac does help in some babies for a while and then it stops working. I cant off the top of my head think of anything else but if you look into post re reflux and sleeping you will see Pete has a post with quite a few ideas from different people. I hope this helps.
Take care.
Hi Marti,

the only thing I can think of is 'Is he cold? You said you live in a cold area and it gets colder early in the morning and if he moves around a lot he could expose himself more to the cold. Have you tried a sleeping bag for him? You can buy special little baby sleeping bags or dressing gown/sleeping bag. That helped us with our new son when he got cold because he couldn't get his arms and legs out. We used to wrap him up a little firmer and roll up a nappy/towel and place behind his back, too. It might give the feeling that someone else is under the blanket with him.

Sorry. Only things I can think of at the moment.

Good luck.

Dear Marti,

You don't say why you feel it is a 'big mistake' for your baby to be sleeping in your bed.
If you and your partner are comfortable with bubs in the bed, then you shouldn't feel pressured to stop.
Around 75% of the world co-sleeps, and it is a very natural and valid choice to make.
There are many benefits to co-sleeping, such as when bubs wakes up, you can just slip in the nipple without needing to fully wake-up - and the whole family gets a better nights sleep! Babies also benefit from the closeness to their parents, and tend to thrive in the shared bed situation.
There is also evidence to suggest that co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS.
At only 6 weeks of age, snuggling into their parents is the natural way for a very young infant to get to sleep, so you are doing everything right.
I hope this has been helpful, as I have no idea about moving bubs out of your bed...just ways to enjoy the stay! LOL

Michelle Woods

Hi Marti

it sounds like you are feeling scared about your baby in bed with you.
Our dd slept with us (in fact she still does many nights!) and we did this from her first few weeks.
Once I educated myself and read and knew the indescribable benefits of this for her sense of trust (and not to mention her hearing Mum and Dads breathing and heartbeat to help her regulate her own), I threw all concerns out the window.
The biggest deterent (sp?) for me was being concerned about others judgements. (The ol "rod for your back" thing). Well, I no longer worry about that. My back, 4 years later, is strong, not burdened and I wouldnt have it any other way.

I hope this helps. I wish you both many warm sleep filled nights!
I do enjoy him being in there Shamrock, I just dont want him in there 4ever!! And I am thinking, the later I leave it, the harder its going to be. The main reason I have 4 wanting him out, is 4 safety. I know that I wont roll on him, but he is a champion wiggler, and I dont want him wiggling under the bed! But I am happy 2 say, we have had 2 nights of him falling asleep in the bassinette!! He cries, I pop the dummy back in, he goes back 2 sleep. I then bring him in2 our bed after his 5 am feed. So - I feel like I am getting the best of both world, worry free sleep and beautiful baby snuggles!

Marti, NSW, Baby Boy born on 17th July 2003

Hi Marti!

I had a similair experience, wherea's my daughter had reflux and she slept with us for the first month, as she didn't like to settle into her bassinet at all. However, when she got to 3 mths, I couldn't get her into her bassinet at all and I realised I couldn't live like that so I trained her to sleep in her bed. Even though she now sleeps in her bed of a day, she starts the evening off in her own bed so I can get a nice block of sleep on my own, however, when she wakes up we take her into our bed and hold her until it's time to get up and to be honest I can't imagine anything better than waking up to her big eyes and big smile every morning!

All you need to do is work out what works for you, and if you do something similair to what I do you'll find that he'll spend less time in your bed of a night since in a few mths (fingers crossed) he'll start sleeping throught the night, so I say keep with the snuggling it's nice and it lets your baby know that you love him!

Kirria & Little Miss Hannah

Marti, perhaps you could try the bassinette just for his day sleeps until he gets used to it, rather than trying to move him from your bed cold turkey. We are using this 'transition tactic' for our son so he can get used to sleeping in a travel cot because he's getting too big to sleep in the pram.

Good Luck!

Daniel, NSW, 4mths

Hi Marti.
Me and my partner started sleeping with our daughter when she was first born because she would just not sleep on her own and it was easier for us. We tried and tried to put her in the bassinett but she wouldn't sleep in it.
At about 10 weeks of age, we brought her a cot and put her in it and she loves it. She hates sleeping with us now.
We put the problem down to one of three things. Either she was cold (it has became warmer since we out her in the cot) or it is because she can see us and knows where she is in the cot (the cot is next to our bed so when she wakes she can see me and she can look around the room where in the bassinett she couldn't, or three, she has just grown up (she is generally a more settled baby since she has started taking interest in the things around her).
So maybe you can try putting your bub in a cot, next to your bed, and keep him very warm. It might just work 'cause it did for us smile
Good luck!

I found it very comforting to have my son sleep with me.

Children grow so quickly and time just seems to rush by, so I think it is important to enjoy them while they are so small and vunerable as before you know it, they will not want to sleep with you or hold your hand or be cuddled and kissed.

I've heard of parents that put a mattress beside their bed as the child gets older to slowly move them out of their bed.

We have recently put a single bed beside ours which our son now sleeps in and I guess eventually, we will move it into his room.

Therese, BRISBANE, 3yr old boy 6 wk girl

hi i had the same problem with my daughter sleeping in our bed and i understand how as parents we need our own space to be with our partner without the interuptions and bed time is usually the only time we get a break and to be alone together in the early days
i put an electric heater with a thermostat in her room and turned it on before she went to bed with the door shut then turned it off when we went to bed and shut her door, it kept her room reasonably warm till morning,
When she did wake up i fed her, as she was bottle fed we had to get up anyway and we put her back in her bed every time until she stopped waking so often, Maybe if he knows you will get up to him whenever he needs you he may feel more comfortable sleeping on his own.

2 little darlings 29/01/03 + 17/03/05

i had both my kids sleep in a bassinette next to my bed for 4-6 weeks. are you breast feeding or is he on the bottle. i breastfed only my daughter and i found that if they can smell you they sleep better so try putting a piece of your clothing that you have slept in (don't wash it) inside his bed. it worked with my daughter as she could smell the milk on my nighty.good luck.

trudy,nsw,mum to kai 5 & chelsea 21 mths

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