I must have hit a nerve with this one!!??
Ok Ok, point taken, maybe 'abandon' was a bad choice of words, and I appoligise for offending anyone. It was just a bit alarming to hear that some of you actually admitted to yelling 'shut up' in your babies faces. I would have thought that this would have sent alarm bells ringing.
Firstly YES I DO HAVE KIDS (the youngest being 2 months) and YES! To me they are PERFECT LITTLE ANGELS. But they cry like all babies, i just would NEVER leave them to cry on their own.
Like you I'm intitled to an opinion and was in no way criticising any mother for the way they handle their babies cries. My opinion just happens to be different to the majority of people in this thread.
But have you ever wondered what this 'leaving your baby to cry does to your babies?
Training your baby to sleep, and sleep school all seem a bit to harsh to me.
Dr. Paul M. Fleiss and Frederick Hodges in Sweet Dreams: A Pediatrician's Secrets for Baby's Good Night's Sleep Lowell House, 2000) have this to say about such training programs for babies:
“A child cannot comprehend why you are ignoring his cries for help. Ignoring your baby's cries, even with the best of intentions, may lead him to feel that he has been abandoned (that word again). Babies are responding to biological needs that sleep 'experts' either ignore or deny. It is true that a baby whose crying is ignored may eventually fall back asleep, but the problem that caused the night waking in the first place has remain unsolved.
“The most sensible and compassionate approach is to respond immediately to your child's cries. Remind yourself that you are the parent, and that giving your baby reassurance is one of the joyous responsibilities of being a parent. It is a beautiful feeling knowing that you alone have the power to brighten your child's life and banish fear and sorrow.”
Margot Sunderland, who runs a conference and lecture organisation called the Centre for Child Mental Health in London, said that stress levels in babies who aren't comforted when they cry can get high enough, and remain high for so long, that it causes brain cells to die. That in turn can lead to neurosis and emotional disorders later in life, she says.
Crying expert Dieter Wolke, the scientific director of the Jacobs Foundation at Zurich University says:
"You should never leave a baby to cry until they are about six months old, because before that age, they don't have the ability to cry just to get attention, THEY ARE DOING IT FOR A REASON."
All of these things are a good enough reason for me NOT to let my baby cry. I knew when I fell pregnant that I would have to put up with crying and I will carry my baby and nurse him to sleep for the next 3 years if I have to, what you do is up to you.
Laneisa, QLD, 5 kids + baby Flynn 24/02/05