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Is it meant to be this hard? Lock Rss

Whew! I have been hearing my computer 'dinging' at me all afternoon since I got back in and I have been DYING to get in here and see what's been going on ..... but maybe I should just leave now I have found out .....

Firstly Stephanie,
I apologise for the 3 hours sleep thing - even though I apologised in the post, I should have known better than to leave that snipe in! Until today's nastiness I have had no cause to stoop to rudeness ... and I should have kept it that way.

To Emmy-Lou,
In my post I didn't mean that KC or Baby Friendly Hospitals equate with, or lead to, attachment parenting. My point there was, that [as I said] "all this, and more, is due to the research which forms the basis of AP" i.e. sound basis.

I should have been more specific in the terminology regarding the premature nurseries & KMC. As you say Kangaroo Care [KC] is the intermittent holding of babies skin to skin - the 'old' way of doing this, where babies are only allowed to go to the mother's chest after stabilisation [some neonatal units are still limited to this type of care].
Kangaroo Mother Care is continuous, and any medical interventions are carried out being 'added to the dyad'. Babies stabilise faster and better this way ... won't go on in my usual fashion smile . Obviously in your research you would have come across Dr Nils Bergman, his team and the associated studies.

To Roy
As you say, tone is hard to get across on a forum like this - but I get it loud and clear today!! grin
However, I have difficulty in seeing my posts as 'judgmental and hurtful'. [Sorry if anyone took them that way] I have always acknowledged that mothers are wanting only the best for their children. However, I don't think that being supportive and helpful ALWAYS means simply patting someone on the back and agreeing with all they have to say.

To Cassandra
I m glad [through all of this!!] someone has found something useful! Thank you - and good luck with your future parenting!

To Jacob's Mum
OMG girl! Of course you are a good mother - I don't think anyone I have some across here ISN'T .... hmmmm ... except maybe for that commins one I did get a flash of ???? oops shouldn't have said that either]

Well better stop now - or I will be accused of lecturing again grin

I accept the white flag and lets all just get on with this happy helpful forum I have been hearing so much about!!



Commins was def one I was refering to smile there were worse ones though which is scarey!!


Steph VIC Mummy to one gorgeous boy

Hi Everybody,

Tricia, my little boy was born New years Eve 31st Dec. I figure he will always have a party to go to on his birthday which is nice.

All of you girls are great mums by the sound of it. Remember we need to stick together and take comfort in each others experiences...

Take care of yourself is one of the easy steps that does work. I know its hard but even if you have half an hour do something you enjoy be it reading, gardening or just having a nice bubble bath whatever your relaxation is.


Hi Stacey - WELCOME~!

I certainly agree with you about taking care of ourselves - whilst pregnant I heard all the horror stories about mum's still being in their pj's at 3pm in the afternoon - I made a promise to myself that I would always get up in the morning before baby and give myself 20 minutes to shower and get ready for him and the day.

Whilst bubble baths do happen occasionally - I love my morning shower!
Jacobs Mum,
LOL Saturdays in my house are pyjama days. I try to get dressed by lunchtime, honestly tongue

Mum to Maya Grace 02-03, Sienna & Mercedes 10-06

I have sat back and read everyone's posts with interest.
It seems about 12 months ago that I was subject to similar remarks that JM posted from another memebr and her husband (all their posts have now been deleted). It was on the controlled crying debate and at that stage my son had trouble putting himself to sleep, even though we recognised all the signs he just didn't want to miss out on anything (still doesn't). As it turned out I'd fed him, changed him, cuddled him, patted him, even given him panadol all to no avail. I was reaching a point where I could sense I needed a time out, so I went and had a shower. When I got out my son was still crying but I was a much calmer mummy. I put his dummy back in and he went off to sleep for almost 3 hours, something which had only ever happened at night. From that day on he has been a fantastic sleeper, he now will sleep approximately 12 hours at night and have one sleep during the day of around 2 hours (although the last couple of days its been 3 hours).

He is a happy well adjusted boy who is quite happy to play independantly, or with others. And he loves his mummy to bits.

I have a friend whose sister has picked her son up at every whimper and has done everything herself. She is now finding it hard to leave him with anyone without him crying the entire time as he is very attached to his mum (not always a bad thing), but this woman is due to return to work in 8 weeks so she now has a problem.

Its fine and dandy to put up links, book references or quotes, but not all babies react the same way or are text book kids. I have found bits and pieces from these books wonderfully invaluable (the feeding routine in the contented baby book) but some parts (like the routine in the contented baby book) to be sometimes unrealistic.
Some of you may not agree with the feeding routine set out in the CBB but I found it a wonderful way to establish my milk supply and I had plenty of milk that I fed my son for 9 months before he self weaned, as I got my period back and the milk changed taste which he didnt like.
I was also able to express a decent amount during the day so that when he did refuse the breast we didn't ahve a horrible time weaning him to formula.

JM and Laneisa
I notice that you have both been members for under 3 months so I don't think that you have seen some of the real nut jobs that have been on here in the past year.
And maybe next time you post just think about the deperate mother sitting at her computer, wondering if she's doing a good job, hoping for some help as nothing has worked. I know for some that to be criticised when you are yourself having doubts about your abilities can almost put you over the edge.

To the mums out there that recognise that they may do something bad if they don't get away. Congratulations, on recognising that rather than staying and running the risk of harming your child.
My MCHN is the one who told me to get out for 5 minutes and that as long as they're in a safe place, no harm done. Besides it not like we do it every bloody day is it.

member since 2004

Emmy Lou - we all need a "junk" day as I call them - my junk days usual consist of junk food and or alcohol (only have alcohol when hubbie is home - so I don't have to worry about being capable of looking baby) - LOL - Saturday nights are great for a soak in the bath and a bottle of wine.

Enjoy your mum's day!
CHukkas - I like the contented baby too but her routines are a little too strict for us - Jacob is by no means a text book baby - he usually is about 1/2-1hour either side of the times for sleeping and eating.
OOps - I think I should clarify the above post where I mentioned alcohol.

No I am not a "drinker" persay - but once or twice a month I make a date with myself on a Saturday night - I buy a nice bottle of wine - baby goes to bed, I have dinner with hubbie then my bottle of wine and I hit the bathroom for about and hour and a half were I soak and relax and do all those things we do like shave the legs (I do this more than once a month) do the facial thing etc and drink the wine.

Hope nobody was offended by this in the context of drinking around a baby cause I don't do that


No problem with that, Jacob's Mum smile Enjoy!!
cheers smile
Hi Mums,

I just felt I had to post this. Dont worry I'm not pointing fingers but had to share how I had a good old laugh last night on this CC topic.

Anybody seen "Meet the Fockers" - there is a really funny scene about the "to cry or not to cry debate" - excuse the expression but I pi%^$d myself laughing during this movie.

Apparently there is the Ferber Method (Ferberise a baby) and the Focker method - the Focker method is to "fockerise" a baby - NO I am by no means being rude. Its quite funny - do yourself a favour and rent the dvd - and see what I mean.

I would much prefer to "fockerise" a baby than to Ferberise a baby.

LOL - its really is funny!

Cheers Mums! smile
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