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Is it meant to be this hard? Lock Rss

Sorry about opening this particular can of worms!! I tke the view that everyone should do what works for them and not criticise anyone else for what they choose to do!

My days are still no better due to my baby having reflux. Now I know why she cries so much and it does make it easier to deal with. I'm now carrying her from 7am to about 10pm as I don't know if her crying is pain or just trying to settle herself to sleep. Its really hard to have an extra 5kg on your shoulder all day (she has to be upright) and I would love to be able to put her in her bed so I can at least go to the loo! I'm hugely worried that my girl will always need constant cuddles to get to sleep but figure when shes grown out of reflux (if) then I'll deal with the sleep issue. Having said that I tried to let her cry in bed for a little while this afternoon (while patting her so she wasn't alone) and she went to sleep after a couple of minutes!!!

Mum to Caitlin & Owain

Paula, sorry to hear about your babe's reflux - I hope things look up soon.

I'm glad the patting worked!

Take Care
Hi Paula Awful about the reflux, but as you say, at least you now know why she is crying. Are you going to go ahead with any tests i.e. endoscopy etc? or just letting it all take it's course? It is said by some paediatricians and others that if baby is not vomiting, then the 'acid burn' is not likely to be occurring [I have quoted this idea myself] but I know from listening to other mums, silent reflux does exist [albeit not as frequently as some diagnose it!!]. My nextdoor neighbour's little brother was a silent reflux baby - her mum was told that she was just spoiling him!!! Can you believe it? He had an endoscopy and the damage to his oesophagus was then obvious. He was put on various antacids and other strong medication, but his mum says that nothing really worked... except time. She said that about 12 - 18 months, around the time he started walking, was the first time it seemed to improve. Statistics do say that more than half have lost the symptoms by 10 months and most by 18 months. Have you ever been advised to try giving up all dairy in your diet? I know it has been shown to help colicky or reflux babies. Some reflux disappears, some is slightly improved by doing this - and then of course there are some that are not helped at all. I did it for our little 'screamer' and it helped - but it is VERY hard. Cow's milk seems to appear in EVERYTHING and under all sorts of different names - but ... maybe ?? worth a try? Let us know how it all goes cheers jm

I saw my own doctor today for the six week check and told him that I don't think its reflux at all as she is still really grumpy and unhappy even after taking Gaviscon. He said that usually if it is reflux then the Gaviscon sorts it out pretty quickly so we may just have a grumpy difficult baby on our hands. I think a lot of it is wind not coming up and possibly a little acid but not true reflux. I'm considering seeing a naturopath to see if it is something in my diet before I cut anything out but I have certainly cut down on the dairy and it has helped a little (I think). The doctor did say that she should sort it out for herself by 3 months so I'm holding onto that thought.

Mum to Caitlin & Owain

Hi again Paula

Wouldn't hurt to ask an opinion of a naturopath - you just never know. I have heard some mums rave about cranial osteopaths being able to work wonders with difficult babies too - but have no experience with either myself.

Hope you soon find some answers - and get things sorted out quickly ... Failing that, the 3 month mark is not far away is it?? smile

Will be awaiting the update!!



It sounds to me like jm and pml are both doing it tough. Not sure about the carrying around thing though, as well as tiring for mum I don't think its helping baby establish good sleeping patterens. Thats my opinion though.
I've said previously that I was one of the mums attacked in the cc post of last year. Even though my tactics we poo pooed I now have an 18 month old who sleeps 12 hours at night and up until about 2 months ago was having 2 daytime sleeps of roughly 2 hours each. He now has only the one daytime sleep but it will be from 2-3 hours.

If acid reflux is the problem (silent or not), have you tried propping baby's bed a little at the head end so they're not lying completely flat.
A lady in my mg, changed her daughters formula to a thick one especially for babies with reflux, not much help if you're bf, but worth remembering though.

member since 2004

Re' the thickened formula and thickeners - these can be a really good thing if baby is actually vomiting and loosing weight because it can sometimes help keep the milk from coming up and out! and hence allow the bub to put on the required weight ... but sadly, they have never been proven to stop the reflux [i.e. the stomach contents coming back up into the gullet] and some even say that they could be harmful. In the case of a heaving baby, loosing all his stomach contents, obviously the benefits of thickeners outweigh the risks!! And breastfeeding mothers have used thickeners added to expressed breastmilk with good success. Propping the head of the bed is suppposed to help too ... and even if reflux isn't actually the problem, it won't do any harm! jm
Wow I just read the entire thread, and I have to say - it was very entertaining. Its good that everyone is so passionate about being a good mum. Although there were lots of extreme differences of opinions, all the mums were voicing an opinion they thought was best for baby. What I didn't like was the individual attacks on mums who were trying to be helpful. A lot of you have helped me, even if it was just to cheer me up. I didn't appreciate jm being criticised as she has helped me a lot. I have often asked for advice but in the end I make up my own mind.

There are many topics that are debatable. Breast or bottle? cloth or disposable? controll crying or not etc.. we need to remember that one rule doesn't apply to all. I think sometimes what's best for the baby is to put mum's needs first. So she's mostly alert and happy to take care of baby. If this means a long bubble bath, champagne, a long sleep while hubby gives bub formula, or walking away for a few minutes then so be it! Its like that term "sharpen the saw", we need to stop and sharpen the saw so that we can chop trees more effectively.

I know you all already know this, but we still get strong opinions from people who think their way of doing things is the best way.

I hope that no one leaves. That would be really sad. You may remember a thread where a mum was crucified for saying that she leaves her baby to cry for 1&1/2 hours and wears ear plugs. She copped so much for saying that. People accused her of child abuse. That was her last post. I clicked on her name and read her other posts to discover she didn't have any family support or friends and her baby was 2years old. And now, she's completely on her own or gone to another site, but I think its so important to stay positive because we all enjoy coming here and we need eachother whether we like to admit it or not.


Thanks for that post, Tali! [and not just because you 'stuck up' for me LOL] Excellent words from someone who obviously has a very kind and caring heart! smile
I've just put a post under "General" as I'm worried about the carrying around thing too. I never thought I would go for "attachment parenting" but controlled crying didn't work for us. My daughter gets more and more upset and winds up so worked up that it takes twice as long to calm her down again and by the time she is calmed down its time for a feed again! We've taken to carrying her as a last resort. She now sleeps during the day (in someone's arms) and sleeps 8 - 9 hours at night (getting longer and longer though) but needs to be fully asleep before being put into bed. At seven weeks old I think she's doing well to sleep that long.

I know she's not learning to put herself to sleep which is why I've asked other Mums who have moved from carrying to putting in bed for advice on how they did it and whether it was possible. Right now its the only thing that works. If we don't do it during the day she doesn't sleep at all and is then overtired and much much worse.

Mum to Caitlin & Owain

Paula - I'm really glad things are working out for you and baby and you are getting some normality back in your life (LOL - do they still call it normality with a newborn).

Anyway I really am glad things are progressing well.

Keep your chin up mum - you're doing a great job!
hi Paula

I have just registered & I hope that your little girl is sleeping alot better now. My daughter is 10 weeks old & I have been using the babywise system. You can get the book from most bookshops & it's called On Becoming Babywise. I have found this excellent for establishing & mantaining a routine for Ella. It gets her feeding & sleeping at all the right times.

Kylie, NZ - Ella 7/05/05 & Madison 7/6/09

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